I cut myself on the future
I thought of kissing your picture
I detached myself from
lullabies and sorry eyes
only to realize:

I want to make love to you in November,
just before the empty of December.
Where snow blankets
and suffocating leaf-beds
aren't the only dreams
to fall asleep in our heads.

I could hear your voice trip
as my hands started to drip
around your hips and thighs-
You could tranquilize
with your lips and byes.

You look so sleepy-headed
Many words I have threaded
to weave a dream
desperately
but you prefer my
reality.

It all stays bottled up inside of me
Sometimes it leaks out my eyelids
streaming out down my cheeks
Sometimes it seeps out through my pores
when I wake up in a cold sweat

You are going on a journey,
one never to forget, but don't
fear you will not be alone.

You take with you friendship
and love, parts given freely
by everyone.

You have touched so many
with out knowing, you have
friends that will remember
you, when the clock stops
and you are gone.

You are never alone, please
know that, for when you decide
its time, when the time comes.
Know that you have not gone
alone.

You take with you a piece of
love and friendship from each
of us, to where ever your journey
takes you, know that  you do not
go alone...

Please don't take those pills
the ones you told me about.
Lined up, neat rows, single file
in all colours, organised harm.
You said you'd had enough
bone tired, broken you
crying down the line
to bone tired, broken me
as if I could save you from yourself.
No-one ever could.
Sacrifice yourself to life, not death
death is darkness and you, sweetest girl
are light beyond vibrancy
my lullaby at night, my morning song
my fragile, fearsome, wondrous friend.

I dreamt last night that
it was summer
and you were with me
just you and I
and the grass beneath your back
as I laid on your chest
and we couldn't stop laughing
and smiling
and oh my, kissing
and this all was just too good
and then I woke up
with tears on my cheeks
knowing I might never have that
again with you.

Your mind, I can read through the mirror of dark eyes,
no iris reading technology this, an ancient practice of lovers
disagreement creeps in to your naughty mind
don't I read it's alphabets and words?
you still smile and act amiable,
just to mislead me and  hide your war tactics.
this little game of ours has a subtext of lust,
in bed we translate it to a physical duel
half moons of my nails etch  blood mark all over  your back
your sharp teeth, give quick bites, lips nibble my earlobes,
love play quickly become a rough and tumble game
when you are the naked aggressor sitting above, I the victim,
moving up and down, we inch forward to culminate in sweet thunder,
you have your sweet revenge, my lover, like in times before,
dissolving your disagreements, in my willing surrender
to your charm,  warm naked body's entrapment, every time my dream

she thinks herself
as my messenger
I am the mirror
she reflects
on which miraculously
the revelations
regularly appear

whenever we meet
we talk in the lingo
of wind and water
we walk hand in hand
along the bank of
our favorite river,
that none would find
in time and space

we love dancing around
the fire we create for ourselves
she turns a singer
only when the urge
fully overpowers her.
we know no anger,
we embrace
the winds of change
like it's a long lost brother

I am her song with
the words she perfects,
meaning I make sure
goes beyond and hit
the center
in our town there isn't
any pair like us,but we've
never thought that way
even once
we aspire, never despair
we are children of nature
cosmic love bug is our signature.

I would tell her that this is how you die by distance even being so close.
I would tell her "Hey lover, do you remember me? Maybe you don't, but let me introduce myself and we'll see...".
I would tell her that it's the third time I try to quit smoking, but this is another addiction that will remain. We all need something to prevent us from going insane.
I would tell her that "You can leave, you can always leave, come with me and let's catch a train". I would tell her that "You can come back, you can always come back, that's what a house is, a shelter from pain".
I would tell her that the memory of her rough voice undresses my memories.
I would tell her that her laugh sounds like those perfectly designed sweet melodies.
I would tell her that we are always afraid of each other even when we're not. We are more afraid of being together than of being apart.
I would tell her she doesn't have to believe in her every single thought.
I would tell her that I tried to stop writing about her but everything that comes out of me are love poems and death sighs.
I would tell her that I know everytime that she cries, I can feel it in me, when she lays at night choking in all her lies.
I would tell her that being empty comes with a big price.
I would tell her that I'm mad at her for making it so hard to leave.
I would tell her that I know what she hides behind that sleeve, many scars from all the people that still can make her grieve.
I would tell her that I love her through music, through literature, through nature, through everything my eyes touch...because everything reminds me of her, because I will always love her so so much.
I would tell her that I think she's the most majestic creature.
I would tell her that connections like this are rare so there's no need to be afraid. And maybe I'll need her to tell me the same.
I would tell her that after all this time, I wish she stayed. Or do I wish I stayed?
I would tell her that I never want to say goodbye because everytime she smiles I feel like she cracks open the sky.
I would tell her that this is for her and everyone else who reads this is just a stranger looking through a window at us.
I would tell her...
If I ever met her.