I had a love that wouldn’t love me.
She told me she wanted to,
But wouldn’t allow her heart to fall or be free.
She wouldn’t let me break down any of her walls.
No matter how hard I tried never did they fall.
So I made my way up, in search of her heart.
I stumbled and I tripped, every step of the way I fell.
I fell deeper into the love that is her.
And there at the top is where I stay, standing, searching, for her.
Her, who is so perfect, so beautiful and true.
She is the light that illuminates my world into view.
She is the fire that burns warm inside of my soul, where once was nothing but emptiness and an unbearable cold.
In her eyes I see my whole universe reflected back through Crystal blue pools, clear and so very deep, she hides from me there.
I’ve searched tirelessly across the vast depths, never finding the faintest glimmer of the stars I once thought I knew so well, the stars that every day I saw as deeper I fell.
Her stars were my guide when all seemed lost. I tried to hold on to their light at every cost.
All I needed was a look into those beautiful blue eyes, I would be home. Home, seems now, like a distant memory from another life. Home is where one day I had hoped she’d become my wife.
Home was her laughter and the beat of her heart.
The smell of her hair as I lay holding her in the dark.
The color of her skin, as through the open windows the moon dances it sliver light upon her face. Never again will I know this place. Never again will my home be in her space.
I long to return there but I fear the journey has been lost.
For all my efforts and my little triumphs, seems now, it was all for naught. Whats the point of love when still all of it is not enough?
Now all alone im drifting, aimlessly in the void.
Endlessly black with no hope in sight, no signs of life or stars to guide. I drift and listen, tryin in the dark to find her voice. Here I will drift forever as I hope and I pray, that I will find her again and that she will Love me one day.

I woke up in the morning feeling a bit blue,  it wasn't much of a surprise considering that was how I felt every morning for the past 4 years. I manage to sit up and just like the blood rushed to my brain so did the thoughts. The thoughts of regret and sorrow filled my mind. As I start walking to school I am greeted by Anxiety. Next I am greeted by depression, and boy did it make me feel gloomy. Even though it was sunny outside it had felt as if I had a dark thundering cloud above my head ready to start pouring.