This isn’t how I do this usually
Getting texts from you daily
I can’t deny that it’s an amenity
And maybe in six weeks we could possibly
Meet up for coffee or hibiscus tea
Cause I’d really love to be with you physically
I don’t mind seeing you weekly
Becoming fond of you lately
Maybe we could be a reality

Part II

As the leaves were falling
And the northeast wind approaching
A gust of sadness — a moment I was dreading
The cycle of “someday’s” and “maybe’s” reaches an ending
Though the actuality of it is quite relieving
The thought of it leaves me bawling

After days of loneliness
And nights of just dullness
Even chocolate was tasteless
Time was becoming senseless
When the pain felt like to the nth degree
And lost all desires of breaking free
Comes something I did not foresee

Part I

You can take what I’ve gotta give
‘Cause this can’t be divided fifty-fifty
When I say what I percieve
Your lack of words make you shifty

While I run through the woods
I feel the wind on my face
Like when I finally understood
We don’t ride at the same pace

Bottles of chardonnay
Cans of rose-tinged, raspberry flavoured white ale
To-go cups of triple shot macchiato
Goblets of merlot
Mugs of spearmint infused bittersweet hot chocolate
What if these drinks don’t fix it
They knock me down when they should be keepin’ me up
I’d better get moving but guess I am stuck
In a cycle of ruminating about the past and wanting to forget
That our story wasn’t gonna last and yours is just a vignette

The days are harder
When it’s bright outside
And the time has changed
You fake a smile
But you’re feeling the same

The days are harder
When you know you haven’t slept
And you open your eyes
Same eyes that have wept
Done with compromise

The days are harder
When you realize that it’s real
That pain means you can’t imagine the past,
Live a make-believe all at the same time and heal
But you tell yourself: “Today is gonna be the last”

And you wish it gets better
Or whatever comes before second best
Because if the days are harder
Then the nights must be the hardest

When you catch yourself smiling for no reason
Tell her you like her

When you can’t stop wanting to be alone with her in the same space again
Tell her you miss her

When you find yourself hoping everything’s alright
And can’t go on a day without knowing
Tell her you care

When you start caring so much
When every hug means wanting to stay in that moment
Every kiss means a split second never to be forgotten
Every gaze means wishing time could be frozen
— Even for a second
Then you don’t need words and that’s how you know.

When you think, you do et out loud
Your shadow is so vague
That when light shines through you, no doubt
Your limpid aura reveals; you are everything but opaque

When you sing, your voice
Like whispers from a gallery
People echo silence like noise
While your flair remain boxed in a chandlery

Sometimes you get scared when you lose control
But their flaws dont reflect your soul
Their actions arent yours thats all
But you can be more than who you are
And thats what makes you individual

I don't wanna lose you
But i can never have you
So tell me what i gotta do
After all you put me through
That even someone new
Who's waiting in queue
Wouldnt be enough to
Fill in your shoe
Cause i know how much my love grew
That every color, every shade and hue
Turned brighter but now it's blue
On my paper i only drew
What i felt when my thoughts flew
When my sadness was overdue



Only i know what is true

You were my company
You were everything to me
My pain, my fear, my remedy
Before you, i was free

I let go of the little things
So to you i could cling
I: the arm; and you: the sling
After i, you cut the strings

I reckon that now, things wont hold like glue
That i better forget everything about you
Though you havent got a clue
I know you think about it too

Everynight i cry myself to sleep
I see you in my dreams
Cant help myself but fall
I feel ive been through it all

You **** out the best in me
You drain my energy
With every ounce of force
You take all what is yours

Then i wake up alone
I realize what is home
Home is not here
Home is whenever you are near

I couldve given you all i have
But it still wouldnt be enough
To me you are hell and ecstasy
I take whatever you can give to me

There was a bridge
Under the bridge was a tunnel
I was searching for a way through

There was this boy
A boy who was looking at me from afar
He was wondering

I heard something
Something like a twig was snapped
I was stunned

Inside the tunnel was dark, blank space
With such deafening silence
So it echoed the snap

I turned my back
I turned to see
What was behind

I never looked back
In hopes of finding that light
The light they say that I will find through this tunnel

I saw a lad
He was pale and shy
He pulled me out of the tunnel

I was surprised that I wasn't surprised
I trusted this lad
And then he asked

"What are you doing all alone?"
"I was looking for the light at the end of that tunnel."

"But there is no tunnel. Look, it is just an illusion others crafted to convince you that you are not where you are supposed to be and you are better off elsewhere."

While he was talking
I was looking into his eyes thinking
How incredible it was how much he knew about this facricated tunnel
I wondered where he had been all along
Then..

He whispered something into my ear
More often than not, people whisper secrets
But he whispered the truth

He told me, "There is no light at the end of the tunnel because the tunnel does not exist. Life is a forest as wild as it can be
where the light shines through the spaces between the leaves on the trees. You are free to wander because you are not anywhere you are supposed to be. You just have to be one thing.. and that one thing is to be.."

"To be me!"

He took of the blinders strapped onto my head
I've never seen so much in one place
The wise man..
The boy who snapped the twig..
And the lad who pulled me by the hand

Is now someone I call my best friend

Laurent, I want to thank you for
Breaking my heart before
'Cause now I know that love --
Is not being able to say 'you're mine'
But being able to say the perfect rhyme

The day you learned to play with my heart
Is the day I learned to play with words
Watch as I turn my pain into written art
While I watch your eyes run dry after the rain has poured

The day you learned to play with my heart
Is the day I learned to play with words
Watch as I turn my pain into written art
While I watch your eyes run dry after the rain has poured

Jane, by now we all know you're not Taylor
And you don't have to be her
If you want Weller,
You have to be the other

But with me, you can be whoever
'Cause I'm your friend, Jane
You can be crazy, silent, fierce or clever
I'll never take away your sane

Jane it's not a perfect world
You don't have to cover all your tattoos
It's part of who you are
And if you don't want them
We can laugh about them for hours

Cause Jane, the best way to cry is to forget
And the best way to forget is to laugh
So let your emotions summerset
And don't stop until you feel better than just enough

You don't need a shepherd Jane
You are your own wolf
I know there is no one to blame
So go ahead, Jane.. Become! You are shatterproof!

I don't know what to say
When you ask me if I'm okay
When the only thing that will take my sad away
Is the day I stop wanting you to stay

I'm sixteen and she's so much older
And I just wanna hold her
I know i'll always be younger
But in five years i will be better
I want so much to take her,
Put my arms around her
Cause this room is getting colder
The nights are getting longer
My knees are getting weaker
Just by the thought of her
As long as i keep her
From knowing my inner
Emotions are getting stronger
Moon is getting fuller
Due is getting nearer
Like summer after winter
We are never getting closer
Am i always bound to get hurt
I choose to love her
But does she want to be my lover
Enough with this open ended letter
Fck goodbye im gonna go get her

First it was a spark
Then you gave her a go
You struck her heart
Then she gave it a go

It lasted too long
Like a cold and windy storm
It was too strong
Like banging windows and doors

And from the clouds you went on
Spreading darkness and destruction
And from the white ashes and smoke
She was the promise that broke
The spell you cast
No, it will not last
Cause tomorrow she will rise
And she will find the good in goodbye

right now
the only way i'll live is to start dying
i cant stop drinking every night
cause if i stop drinking i wont stop thinking
of you
and your smile, your kiss, your laugh
and everything. i have my memories of you
but thats all that i could ever have
if i'll
live longer, be happier, be stronger
i will know its only because of you
but it shouldnt be and never will be
even if
i tell you not to take it all away from me
i cant, id be a fool
you couldnt take away anything if i never had it
right now
im just a fool. im still a fool.
but its not a fool you made out of me
its a fool i made out of myself.