I will be there when your voice quivers
I will be there when your body shivers

I will be there when you learn to love
and when you learn to hate
I will be there when you contemplate
and dream of all the things you could create

I will be there when you feel weak
and meek
and the sadness makes you weep

I will be there after every fruitless endeavor
and make you think quicker
and make you feel clever
so that your light shines bright forever

I will be there every step of the way
through every night
and every blight
until your last fading light

The countless midnights I've spent with tears running down my cheeks,

Wishing you were next to me and I trying to imagine the tender touch of your palms against mine,

I sit here madly in love with you but I'm wishing I could unlove you,

If only one could fall out of love as fast as one plummets into it,

But gravity only pulls downward.

Aches
Of the body
Of the heart
Of the soul
Brought by unwanted truth

Love is not a friend
Or a thing to keep me safe
Love is disillusion
When you realize it's all just bait

I'm made of my negatives
I am made of  my fears
and doubts
and weaknesses.
I am completed by my depression
and finally i think,
it's ok.

Because in reality we're all a little sad on the inside,
We're all a little bitter,
We're all a little broken.
and I've finally learned to live with it.

I am not me without my negatives.

My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.

No.

I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
between
dreaming and
mortality

and

I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
involve

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
nightmares,
hazy realities
and

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,
now,


is decide.