My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.

No.

I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
between
dreaming and
mortality

and

I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
involve

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
nightmares,
hazy realities
and

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,
now,


is decide.

i beckon you
i entice and invite

and coax the darkness out

love me
for you are a sinner
just the same as i

the wicked shall inheret the earth

i cannot repent
if sin tastes so despicably sweet

Lull back
And then forward
Throw them down
Break them apart

Life's one big game

You need to take part

You were a story
of loneliness and woe
guilting me into loving you
or something close to it

Striking me down
with your own tempestuous explosion
Bruising me black and blue
bending me at your will
Tearing me apart

You stitched me up loving and tender
and worshiped my putrid words
You carried me worn and weary
from the weight of your passion

Blinding light
that burns the flesh
warms my soul

You have become my one and only truth

may these words ignite shame in your throat
so you can feel the red hot,
of rage and disillusionment

may these words,
welt your skin,
like apathetic whipping
and bruise your pride
with uncontrollable whimpers

may these words flay and pierce your skin,
like unforgiving shrapnel,
staining your lovely supple skin,
with the most beautiful crimson dye

and feel the loss,
of faith,
of purpose,
of love

may these words set fire to your soul
and feel the agony I know so well,
because lord knows,
you never had mercy on me

You use me
Time and time again
I am a convenience
Not a person

All the words I've ever said
Are nothing
Compared to all the words I never said

This feeling of disrest
Are those jagged words teetering on the tip of my tounge

I have no semblance to an actual person.
I am a tool at your disposal.

If I were to ***** all of those consumed words,

I would cease to exist.