Why taunt me when I'm happy
Why remind me when I forget
Why touch me when I feel content
Why torture me when I'm strong
Why should I even try to hide from you torturous grip
Holding me against my will and suffocating me with my thoughts
Why even run
Take me to the depths of despair

So much time has passed yet the memories seem to last forever
Flashes of what was comes pounding at my door begging me to come back
Part of me craving, longing to return to what killed me
The strength of my mind falters with every passing glance
I can't help but think maybe I'll be happy If I give into cruel temptation
To be strong is a definition that gets mixed up in my head
Never knowing if I can ever escape the grips of illness
Do I give in and give up or do I close my eyes and walk away

I don't always try to do things like this
But tend to get wrapped up in the moment
It's an instantaneous kind of bliss
Never caring are showing atonement
I smile real bright with big open eyes
Showing myself in the best kind of light
My words take control, my kind of demise
Always playful, but to me it's a fight
The game's in my head and I have to win
My aptitude to play is far too great
To beguile men is my favorite sin
And now true love I can't appreciate

Sometimes I get sick
or my legs feel dead
Sometimes I can't breathe
and I can't get ahead

But one run in a dozen
on a day like today,
the world says with each footfall,
relax it is okay.
relax it is okay.

Stuck and going no where fast
Can't seem to erase it from my past
Why can't I just disappear
I can't escape from here
And this I my biggest fear

Don't want to get worse don't want to get better
It's these things that just don't make sense to me
Drowning in this pain I can't breathe
Save me from the hatred inside of me
Being held against my will.. Or perhaps this is how I want to be

I can't move forward and I can't move back
Doesn't make me happy doesn't make me sad
Am I my own worst enemy?
Am I the cause of this pain I see?
Do I really want to break free?
In my comfort zone, this is my home

Just
Be