I was
different when you met me,
I had locked the other me away inside her cage
And I know you’d never met her but I’m sure you heard all of the noise she makes
Well, love, she’s out now
And I’m sorry, but she’s broken from her leash
I’ll try to tame her- but please realize
She’s still a part of me

Pools of honey swim in skin pale
like fresh milk
Framed by tresses the color of bark
Bubblegum lips contrast chewed fingertips,
and legs that are hopelessly scarred
What is her name? Crowned with laurel and thorns
Ruby droplets that run down her cheeks
Beautiful suffering- pointless, it seems,
when the coke bag is empty and torn

I fall into the arms of my old lover, again, and her arms- they are burning, they’re burning, they’re burning
I sink into bed with my lover again- her flesh, it is burning, it’s burning
And yet somehow, I allow
Her to catch me aflame
Like a cigarette steadily burning
And it’s pleasurable, wonderful, until it ends just the same
A **** on the ground, cold and yearning

I tried to plant a garden
I toiled and tilled til my nails were nothing but blackened nubs
Like small pieces of charcoal
And I spent my last coins on seeds- because the granddaughter of a florist must have flowers
But my blooms wilted
My leaves shriveled
And locusts chewed on my darlings til they were nothing but the frailest stems
Like my legs looked, when I was fifteen

For days I mourned. Years it seemed. More coins spent on seeds, more work in the sun
But I kept ending up with bare roots and dry buds
Until finally, one day, I looked down at my barren garden and asked it, how do I make you beautiful?
To which my garden replied

cow ****.

Because the lotus can’t grow without the blackest of mud. The roses can’t bloom without meal made of blood.
my garden had died... because I hadn’t gone through enough cow ****.

1, 2, 3 go and run with me
Youthful girl full of misery
4, 5, 6 and I’ll **** your ****
Bat eyelashes, blow kisses til it makes you sick

Numbers, numbers won’t you tell me what I am,
Am I another number? Another notch on your belt band?
I remember how much I loved meeting all your friends
but now you’ve got me hidden like it’s something that I said

1, 2, 3 open up and see
Nothing but the bedsheets and calculus theory
4, 5, 6 can’t pick it up that quick-
You talk to me for hours but it doesn’t stick

10 years, I’m 20, you’re 30 years old
I was warm as tea but on the shelf I’ve grown cold
You’re so loud and proud- you don’t seem very proud of me
I’m sorry I’m not older
Maybe one day I could be

Brunette monster at 5'8", my dreams are haunted by your pretty
face
Trace lines upon my neck with teeth so sharp I can't think straight
I remember how you looked with those dark dead eyes and your trembling skin
You forced apart my legs; I had no choice but to accept you in
You rearranged my insides through the space between my pale white thighs and
now i have to realize that the game you played I couldn't win
I screamed for you to stop but my cries fell on ears- not deaf, just didn't care
And I remember how my neck cracked when you reached to grab ahold of my blonde hair
What'd I do to you? Why hurt a girl who loved you like I did?
I was your everything before you made me nothing in my bed
I wish I'd listened to the warning signs that I first saw in you
You've left a mark upon me- it's the ugliest, invisible tattoo

Step right up and buy some dreams
He's got tattooed arms and he'll propose to you with cubic zirconia rings, promises of hearts warmed and shiny things
Beware of what the future brings, he'll spread your broken wings and let you fall
Right into a pit of tar and feathers
You'll think you belong together
But he's a trainwreck clad in ink and leather
And he'll sever the tethers and let you go it alone, ignore your pleas for affection but his spell is like an infection- it won't go away unless treated with equal aggression
What's his motive? Why break all these hearts, why ***** out girls like spent candles
I don't think he even knows how to handle himself
But one things for sure- this boy sells dreams, don't you buy them.