i swear to god if you take her away from me again
might as well take my life with hers

i’m tired of these up and down roller coasters
i’d rather take a ride in a hearse

if there ever comes an end to us,
i'll quickly throw my life in reverse.


this pain in my chest is all too common.
maybe is the fear of being forgotten.
or the fear of being left, metaphorically, in a coffin.

i hope this isn't part of some trick or lesson.
karmas a *****, i’ve had her too much in my presence.
you can tell by my expression there’s no feelings i’m oppressing, i’d simply fall into a depression without you by my side taking my sadness and suppressing, to be honest, without you id turn to aggression take my fate as a message, and put a gun to its head for leading my life in the wrong direction.

If you loved me
You wouldn't have found someone so fast
If you cared about me
You would've wanted to text back fast
If you thought I was perfect
No matter how blind, you would've seen that I'm worth it
So I'm sorry if my trust is gone
I'm sorry that my mind is wrong
I'm sorry that my heart is crushed
And I wear my insecurities inside out
Showing how damaged I really am now
I'll never be the same as I was before
I trusted you to open every door
You took me so ******* high
But I swear when I felt the floor
I shattered into a million pieces
Watching you with someone, teasing
Me, laughing off in my face
And I couldn't keep up the pace
So I used the only chance I got
To run from that ******* place
I gave myself up
When I seen opportunity
So I'm sorry that you let me know
There would never be a you and me

she never read my poetry. matter of fact she never gave a **** about anything that did to me.
she never tried to learn me, every chance she had she was intentionally trying to burn me.
I started thinking about a quote I once heard.
you accept the love you think you deserve.
when in reality no one deserves less than the world.
I was killing myself mentally, making myself go through hell with this girl.
knowing she wasn't anything, literally, wanting to go back home, critically, missing home, physically, speaking out my *** potentially ruining any chance I had of coming back home.
I was home sick but I was sick of home.
my mind made up a whole story of it own,
made me hate her for doing things for reasons she didn't, saying things she wouldn't, hurting me on purpose..
she hurt me on purpose, but we both had guns. I pulled my trigger first and they both turned automatic.
rapid fire shots sending head shots every round.
yet we were still standing,
fighting for the one thing we knew that wasn't dead.
white flags waving we realized we were fighting for the same thing.
fighting to come back home.
for my home was her, as her home was me.

I remember being on the softball team at my high school.  There was this cute girl that was on the team and I didn't really know her because I pretty much had just transferred to that school.  There was always drama going around and I used my old Hello Poetry account as a vent system. I had my account link posted on my other social media but didn't think anyone would actually go to it, but that one girl did!! So one day we were having a short conversation and she said "Oh, I read your poetry. You're really good" ...and I'm like "what!?" Lol, I felt kind of embarrassed but she ended up making an account. I read her poems faithfully and analyzed every line, thinking of why she would say certain things or use certain words.  She and I became really close, but closer on Hello Poetry. We basically communicated through poetry. We became a couple, and expressed ourselves to each other in our poetry, argued in our poetry, and told our stories of how we fought to be together in our poetry.  So yea, I knew her in person, but I met her on Hello Poetry. And now Kaylee L isn't just my HP friend, but she's also the love of my life.