Every night
I stare at a particular star
It's light isn't steady
It rather flickers.

I asked a friend
He said it meant
That It's been dead For years
And years
And no one even knows
No one notices
As long as it still sends it's light
Over the hundreds of millions of miles.

I asked myself
Why he never noticed
How it's been a while
Since i started to flicker.

How do you share a bed with someone
Share your breakfast with someone
Share your thoughts with someone
Share your laughs and tears and dreams and past and fears

Then meet them someday
On a side walk
And "stranger-small talk"

How do you hide all of that in your pocket
How do you shove it down your throat
How don't you hug them and cry your lungs out.

How did i do that
Just last night.

Do not wish for me so much
In your prayers.
I will be the biggest nothing
That you've touched.

"I never learned how to un-love people"
I told you on a lazy afternoon.
A yellow curtain changing the shades of the room that was blue
From lilac to green to the colors of the drops of dew.

"i cannot love you if you still love him"
You told me with a change in your tone

"but love can come in so many shapes! I could leave but still care although!"

Now the room Is still blue
And lilac
  And green
   But empty.

    I am six months into something new
      But i still never learned
        How to ever un-love
         Every heart that i one day knew.

This is when i write my best poems

When there is
So much
Inside
Messed
Tangled
Intertwined
Unraveled
Kept aside
Forgotten
Brought back
Rememberd
Ignored
You Decide
Undecide
And then one hundred words fall into a piece of paper like drops of rain hurling from the sky.

You can not expect it
You may not understand it
But you
Feel

Feel the moment
It collides
With your soul
Finds a home
In your ribs
It's a trauma
In disguise.