Imari Stevens: Favorites

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

My Demons

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Imperfect Desire

Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....

~Imperfect Desire **

#suicide #depression #pain #sadness #depressed #battle #demons #torment #emotional #emotionalpain

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

I don't talk about you anymore

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Diary of Jane

I don't talk about you anymore

I don't talk
about you anymore
like I used to

Before,
I would speak of you
to anyone and everyone in my life,
sharing pieces of you with others
so much that people started wondering
if there was something between us.
It was never intentional
but rather an involuntary response
to the pull of gravity I felt towards you.

I used to like the way
your name sounded in my tongue
I used to practice uttering it
and whispering nothingness into your ears.

I used to say your name
like it was sacred

but now it has become taboo
to even think of your name
Every time it comes up in my mind
I have to hit the mental brakes,
I no longer mention you
to anyone else
it's like you do not even exist,
never did -
you are just the ghost of a name
that resides somewhere in my head,
collecting dust.

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Painkiller

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Noone

Painkiller

what do I say when they ask me?
were you a friend?
were you a lover?
maybe just a painkiller
to soothe me for a while
yes, you told me all I needed to hear
you held my hands and looked into my eyes
you told me I am the most beautiful of all,
caressed my hair, and kissed my lips
a kiss like a magic spell

Now your effect is wearing off
making me feel all the things
it hurts so bad I cant tell
yes, you were my fantasy
My illusion, my fairytale
I lived my dream for a while
and now that I m wide awake
the illusion has faded
and the fairytale has ended

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Poisen

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Noone

Poisen

Why did you awaken the love in me?
When you didn't have any intention to love me back..
Why did you make my heart flutter?
When you were going to break itanyway..
I know, I was a naive girl
To fall for your trick
I should have known
I should have known..
You were that demon disguised as an angel.
Candy to my eyes but poison to my soul..
Yeah, you poisoned me
And now, I cant breathe

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

One-sided is a lie....

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Noone

One-sided is a lie....

I haven't seen myself in the mirror for a while,
I m scared of what I'll look like..
The dark circles around my eyes,
Knows all the secrets of my sleepless nights...
Nights I spend wondering...
Did I even matter to you?
Did I even matter to you?

Oh, how much I want to escape from you..
Maybe some morphine, that'll do
No, I won't think about you..
No, I don't want to think about you!!!!!
Cause I know while I m in bed thinking of you
You are also in bed about to get laid in just one, two...

For once, I wish this was untrue
For once, I wish you knew
This pain that I m going through
You left me saying that I deserved the world
But I just wanted to deserve you......
Don't call my love one-sided,
Cause I wouldn't have fallen for you,
If you hadn't made me believe
That you'd catch me when I do!!!

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

A girl who feels so much

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Noone

A girl who feels so much

It's strange how time can change so quickly,
Just a month ago, I was in cloud nine
and now, I m in hell divine
My playlist has switched
From love me like you do
To gloomy sunday
Time is nothing you see,
It can make you feel so much, so soon
But you don't understand
Cause you are on the otherside of the story
You are one who got the attention you never earned
And I m the one who is not getting the least I deserve
"It has only been a while. How can you feel so much?"
These are the exact words you said
Well you are right, how can I feel so much
Why do I feel so much?
Maybe, I m just like that
A girl who feels so much, so soon
And end up hurting herself so much, so soon

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Do me this favor?

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Noone

Do me this favor?

I don't know if god really exists
I m starting to lose my faith now
For so long, I have been crying for help
But it seems like he has gone deaf

Maybe this is it for me,
I have reached my breaking point,
Should I use a blade or a rope?
Maybe the jump of death?

But no I want it easy way
I don't have the guts to do it
Maybe I should ask someone else?
To do me this favor?
Free me from this hell....

I m not suicidal. But sometimes, you feel like you have just had enough and you just want to disappear.

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Broke my broken heart...

Oct 2018 Imari Stevens

Noone

Broke my broken heart...

Go on , tell your friends about me
Show them my pictures
Expose my secrets
Humiliate me,
Tell them you had me
Elaborate the details
Of how I looked without clothes
Of how easy it was for you
Of how desperate I was for love
But dont forget to mention your part of the story too
Of how you were a coward
Of how false your intentions were
Of how you got bored of me
Of how you lied to me
Of how you broke my broken heart