I know what I said;
I know what I did.
Here you are claiming
It never happened.
I know how you are;
I know your routine.
Here you are claiming
You're not any different.
Here I am, alone,
In my perception.
Am I crazy,
Or just a victim of clever deception?

i think i will survive if i can wait a little more
i'll wait until
the last of you is walking
out the
door
the hours have been good to me
the miles
make it
clear
that life can still be beautiful
without you being
                           here
it's when i press my lips to yours
that everything
returns
and opens up a world with an intensity that
burns
enough with the explosives
i don't want them
anymore
the back of you in front of me, i'll run to close the door

click, click, click*
Typing away letters in the dark
One for mom who never really saw
One for dad who was never there at all

click, click, click
Writing letters in the dark
One for my sister who ran away
One for my brother who had no choice to stay

click, click, click
Letters in the dark
Dripped with blood
Coated in tears
Letters in the dark

What if I told you, that I am not like the others?
What if I told you, I have no love for myself, and no love for another?
What if I told you about what I hide under my sleeves?
What if I told you I wanted to permanately leave?
What if I told you that my anxiety was going through the roof?
would you believe me, or would you ask for proof?
would you judge, would you care?
do you have your own secrets you would like to share?
Would you help me, would you cry
if one day I said goodbye?
are you listening?  
are you here?
Now that you know, I don't live in fear..