It's been over a month,
And still that night replays over in my head.
The looks those people gave me,
When they seen my scars.
How they treated me and looked at me,
Like I wasn't human..

I wasn't sure what was going to happen,
Everything was a blur..
It all happened in an instant,
And I didn't know how to handle it.

I was taken away from my family,
And hospitalized for 8 straight days..
I was miles away from home,
And there was no possible way out..

But when I was in that place,
I learned something about myself,
I learned the true value of life..
And that it is full of misery and pain,
But without misery and pain,
There would be no such thing as happiness.

We all face a war with ourselves,
In my case, I had a war with depression..
And it went so far,
I landed myself in the hospital..
But it showed me,
I wasn't alone in this world,
Fighting a battle with depression.

But I'm proud to say,
After it all..
I won the battle,
And it's finally over.
At least, I hope it is...

Listening to the silence of the rain
Sitting in the candle lit flames

Scents of lavender and vanilla
Fill the air , I breath.
Listening to my thoughts
Re-writing some old memories

The wind is violent today
Tossing into the windows,
Is the rain.
So hard, the drops hit my glass
Running down to the ground
To be safe at last.

The puddles are deepening
Sewers overfilled
Streets overcome,
With water they fill.

There's  no electricity now
The rain has silenced,
this blackened town.

Listening to the silence of the rain
Sitting in the candle lit flames
Now all my neighbors, will do the same.
Read a book, or read your mind
Be guided by flame,
In the day times,  night.

the train tracks are empty. I don't know how often one comes. I'd like to say that I've been holding myself together with twine and bits of soil and concrete. I'm barefoot and I've found an array of glass bottles littered over the edges of the track.
All I need is a little warmth which is odd considering it's in the middle of summer and the scorching rays are burning my skin. Everything else seems illegible compared to your eyes and nothing looks real anymore.
I want you to know that when a train comes barreling through these tracks, I will face it with as much faith as I can bear.
I once promised you that I would try and I am trying but I can't cough out the words lodged in my throat because, I think, I've kept them there for too long now. I did promise you that I would try but does it really matter all that much now?
I can hear the train coming - this looks like a nice spot to settle.
I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to look past the lost tenderness that used to grace your eyes.
It's ridiculous really, because I haven't met you yet and there's still an ache in my chestfrom when you left.
I don't know how to do this without you. I don't know how to use the memories of your lack of existence to help myself move from this spot.
I can see the lights approaching.
Please understand. Please understand that I had to do this. Please understand that I had to do this for the sake of my sanity and I can't imagine moving away from these train tracks just to wake up tomorrow to remember that I do not know what it feels like to have loved and be loved by the ghost of you.
Please, I beg of you, forgive me for my past transgressions and forgive me for not being able to quell the pain of never knowing you.
I can hear it now. I can hear the pistons and the rumble of the tracks.
I'll take my leave.
And maybe, if I'm lucky, you'll never realize I was here in the first place.

you are no longer the one plus one i dreamed of or the cure-all to my pains and you are no longer motivation in my veins
i have steered clear because you are a caterpillar with a cocoon brain (underdeveloped, unraveled, closed up and shriveled)
you are not the glorified person i thought you would be, i put you on a pedestal of faux gold that qucikly rotted and tarnished with the truth
you are not the knight in shining armor and you are not the boy that will change my life and go to the forest with me.
your freckles have turned into specks on the windshield that annoy you when you cant see and your eyes have turned into piercing lasers that are the only temptation left in you
maybe i have changed my vision from far sighted to near sighted and now i only see you up close and personal , clear as daylight.
you need to check yourself, reevaluate yourself, validate yourself, so you can decimate all these condescending thoughts of who you are and who you are pretending to be.
the butterflies you swat around from side to side and up and down are not toys and have very delicate wings as well as fragile hearts.
these butterflies are not choices, don't act like you don't know they're swarming around you because of who they think you are and your sweet nectarine temptation
you cannot pick and choose and play with wings until they break and then feel sorry after.
my preconceived notions of who you were and what we could be were as wrong as 1492, when the world was perceived flat
now i see the three dimensional you