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  Sep 2017 Haze
Janelle Tanguin
I've learned my ABCs at one,
learned to read by four,
constructed my paragraphs at six,
a know-it-all reciting parts of speech by seven.

Letters assembled themselves ready for scrabble.
Rocks, paper, scissors,
I never learned to let go of the paper.
And grew up with dry fingers caressing books.
Breathing in language and literature.

They say you can only love something so much
until it leaves you empty.
But I've only ever truly loved a few things about life,
and first was how words strung empathy.

The way I wrote about tying yellow ribbons on trees for a hero at eleven,
wrote about anything that won me passports to a passion I had to sacrifice a few years later after fourteen,
wrote about the boy who broke my heart at seventeen,
wrote about the monsters in my head at nineteen.

I don't know how words always found me
whenever I tried to run away from the world;
how they kept my sanity along with melodies for as long as I can remember,
and made countless others feel less alone.

What I love is a weapon
that has sparked revolutions, waged wars.
What I love is art that built acropolises from embers
and most the world's wonders.

It rushes euphoriant through my veins as much as it does through yours,
yet it is neither blood nor oxygen.
It is all the words burning as we keep them hidden,
dying for us to give them meaning.
  Sep 2017 Haze
red
the only thing
that's left with
my burning
and unrequited love
are cinders capable
of flaming up again

i'm just waiting
for someone
to light it up again
but it surely
won't be you
  Sep 2017 Haze
red
subtle distortion
cloudy perception
hazy apprehension
figment of the imagination
fragmented realities
redrawn by consciousness
staged fantasies
drowned by emotions
reality slipping
deteriorating
bit by bit, darkening
details unraveling
slowly spiraling
a world in the making
eyes affixed
a world rendered
by a troubled mind
delusions unfold
illusions, manifold
ecstatic visions
tangible realities
world full of mysteries
crafted by miseries

and then there is me
left to wander
in a new world
that i crafted
that i masterminded
i know it is
not real
i keep telling myself
nothing's real
i keep persuading myself
it's not real
snap out of it
get out of there
before it's too late
wake up from the trance
but for once
it felt so real
so so real
just to let it all go
  Sep 2017 Haze
Alec
How does one
Make the choice
Between
Suffering and death

How does one decide
Between
Being alive
Out of spite
Or giving in
To rest

When the world
Seems so against you
Should you just give in?
Or should you keep on fighting
And find a way
To win

The world will keep on turning
But you should keep turning too?

How does one
Make the choice
Between
Suffering and death

With someone's life
Laying in your hands
How do you decide
What is right

If they choose wrong
Do you choose for them?
Do you choose what they want
Or what you feel you need?

No matter what you pick,
Will you still feel guilty?

How does one
Make the choice
Between
Suffering and death

When everyone says
I'm here for you
But no one really means it
Where do you turn

Are you okay?
Starts to anger you
How does life go on?
When you go through
What you go through

How do you make those choices
How do you decide
How do you know what is right
Or what to do
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