A shiver ran down my spine with the air cold and the room pitch black.
I coughed out a sob, letting the silence of dawn crack
With tired effort, I thought, “This world won’t ever cut you some slack.”
It doesn’t matter if you suffer, it won’t wait for your comeback.
Air fanned out around the room quite easily
Reminding me that I was alone and the room was empty.
Reminding me that I’ve lost who was once beside me,
Someone so precious, snatched away from this life so easily.
Death. Pain. Grief. Sorrow.
They seem to always be the sure melody of another tomorrow.
They’ve become the artist in my life’s story
Using tears to paint my face with a clear picture of agony
It hurts. Make it stop.
I’m so tired of the pain, I refuse to stand up so I drop
To the ground, knees first then palms second.
With my head bowed down, I wonder if this is the dead-end.
The night was young as I wait in wonder,
“Is it really God’s plan to let His children suffer?”
“Are we supposed to just bite back the pain when it tastes so bitter?”
“When can I look out towards the world without feeling somber?”
“When can I finally end this pointless torture?”
I've been walking with my feet bruised and calloused.
Every road I’ve stepped on didn’t leave me unopposed.
I’ve lost a piece of myself in every single pavement.
Fought my battles till I was drained of every bit of strength – I was spent.
I’ am so down, and done.
A hollowed shell with no energy left to run.
Can someone teach me how to truly be alive?
I am but a lost child struggling to survive
I will teach you.
I will teach you more than the struggle to survive
More than ‘how to truly be alive’,
I will teach you how to gain life.
So be still, and know that I am God.
Maybe you haven’t truly lived in what that means,
Since you’ve dabbled in darkness at every seam
But I will show you what it truly means to be redeemed, so come follow me.
My child, I am your Father
And it hurts Me just as much to see you suffer.
It is true that the world won’t cut you some slack
Because you are not of this world but are meant for the Heavenly track.
Following Me means picking up your cross.
That means gaining your life in Me through your worldly life’s loss.
Through the process, it is painful
But don’t be blinded by the pain you feel in your heart
Death, pain, grief, sorrow – these are just small parts.
Turn your eyes towards Me and let Me be your focus
For what you set your eyes on is what is magnified at your notice
I am the Artist, painting you with all the beauty of creation;
The Author of your story, the truth and your foundation.
Don’t let pain cloud your vision
You already have the solution
For when pain strikes you with your afflictions,
Your battle stance is on your knees praying to the God of your devotion.
I will fill your cup. I will be your strength.
I will fill your hollowness and make you whole again.
I promise you, you will have everything you need
For I am the God whose power had 5000 people to feed.
My promises are not empty,
Although they seem improbable.
But don't you know already?
I specialize on the impossible.
So set aside your fears and worries.
The world isn't something you have to carry.
Let my love be the Anthem of your heart,
Especially on days where everything seems to fall apart.
And when you feel that you are unworthy,
Let Me remind you that loving you has never been just a mere obligation
But a fully wanted, no-contemplating-on-the-pros-and-cons decision
I promise you, you won’t ever be alone.
Even when you’re stuck in a cold, and empty room,
Just seek me and