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Hello Daisies May 2023
For years
And years
I blamed
Me
For forever
I hated me
It felt like an eternity

I'm still healing
I have been growing
I feel maturity
I feel less
Insecurities
I'm realizing
For the first time
It's okay

It's okay
It's okay
I misbehaved
It's okay
It's okay
I felt that way
It's **** okay
But it's still a shame

I'm not to blame
I wasn't untamed
I was a child
I wasn't wild
I was alone
I was crying
For attention
Crying
For affection
I was
Always
*******
Crying
Til it left me
Broken
Dying

I been hurting
I been broken
Never healed
Only blamed
Myself
Left in guilt
Disgust
Mistrust

But
It's okay
It's okay
To feel that way
It's okay
It's **** okay
But what a shame

To blame a child
For being touched
To blame a child
Who thought she could trust
To blame a child
For not knowing love
What a shame
I became
To myself
Blaming
Blaming
Swallowed in guilt

Everyone
Blaming
Blaming
So I let them
Be right
I let them win the fight
Lose my might
Never say no
Never let go
Hate myself
Bury bury
Never grow
Let my passion
Go

It's okay
It's okay
To say
I wasn't to blame
It's okay
It's okay
To say
It shouldn't have been that way
I regret
So much
To let you touch
Me
To be so alone
I let you
Hurt me
Inside my bones
But
It's okay
I didn't know better
It's okay
It's okay to
Let it go
To forgive me
And to be ******* angry
About it
It's okay
It's okay
But it's a ****
******* shame
I lost me
I lost all of my childhood
I blocked so many memories
I became a sad vicious story
I was nothing
Not me
Not you
I was nothing
But guilt
I had built
Towers
Of magic
Towers
So strategic
Towers
To hide
*** I never felt
Okay
Living that way

Now I want to say
To myself
To that little girl
So ashamed
So alone
So afraid
It's okay
It's okay
To feel that way
It's okay
It's okay
I know it's a shame
You're not to blame
It's okay
Darling
It's really okay

Let it go
Be angry
And never forget
You're valid
And it's *******
Okay
Hello Daisies Apr 2023
Breathe breathe
Let the calming music
Take you in
Let yourself grin

Feel the light
The nostalgia
The childhood innocence
The laughter
For here after

Remember the past
remember the good times
Not just that darkness
Remember
The happy
Times
They are there
They are everywhere

Maybe some memories
Once happy
Still hurt too much
Move on
To happier ones
A time before
Your heart tore

Smile today
Smile and play
Life has a way
Of making us sway
Into complete
Chaos
So take time
To release
Take time to
Feel at ease

Some memories
Have a hold on me
They make me feel
A way I can't explain
I can touch them still
Feel then on my back
Feel the air, the walls,
Every crack
It was such a special time
The perfect crime
It's over now
It hurts
But remember
It was once happy
The best days of my life
So make more
Of those
Days
Make more times  
To play
A special place to
Stay
For later
When I feel alone
I can look inside
And find a home
Make those memories
Make that magic
Breathe the air
That gives you life
Feel it in every bone
Make it special
Make it known
Love loud
Love proud
Don't ever
Ever
Let this life
Keep you down
❤️
Hello Daisies Apr 2023
As a child
I'd look up
Look to the stars
The night sky
I felt so high
I felt a home
Hope
A special glimmer

I forgot to look
As I grew
I lost a sense
I lost my friends
I lost the sky

I try to look again
I try to see my friend
The stars I loved
The glimmer I hugged
They are lies
They are false
They are gone
Someone else

Almost giving in
Almost giving up
I look over
I remember
My one true love
The moon has me
The moon saves me
The moon is real
It makes me feel

You can't take her
You can't have it
If you tell me it's a lie
I'll always deny
It's the last glimmer
All I hold onto

I need to believe
I need to see
The moon is real
It helps me heal
I'll look into her
I'll smile again
Take a deep breath
release my pain

If the moon goes
I go
They've taken
My snow
They've taken
Almost all
I know
I shall never
Let this go
This is how
I'll grow
I'll glimmer
I'll shimmer
I'll shine
With hope
So divine
It's mine
I can share
The beautiful glare
On my face
To all
*** the moon
Is beautiful
And for everyone
With a heart
For everyone
With hope
Hold onto her
And look up
Give her a glare
Take a moment
To stare
Breathe it in

Let the moon win
Let the moon
Give me hope
It's barely there
But for moments
I feel her
My one true friend
Letting me in
Hello Daisies Apr 2023
Memories
Memories
The key
Memories
Memories
I flee

Meditation
They say
Meditation
Will play
Meditation
Is the way

Yet my memories
Of you
Were my happiest
My memories
Of you
Were the sappiest

Now I die
I die a little
I die a lot
I die from the thought
Of my happiest memory

From start
To finish
the very beginning
Of adolescence
You were there
We were never scared
Together
We shared
Memories
Moments
Golden pictures
Golden snaps
Forever burned
Forever there
Now I'm scared

My memories
Memories
Of you
They have ahold
On me
My memories
Memories of you
Leave me in absolute
Agony

I miss you
I miss them
I miss the feeling
Of adolescence
Of fun
Of freedom
Of hope
Of every single blissful
Moment
In the sky
With you
In the sky
Who knew
We'd fall
Fall so hard
And break
Never to mistake
Healing us together
Again

Memories
Memories of you
I can't meditate
I can't think
Of the past
Unless I go
Too far back
My childhood
My childhood
I stood
Low
I cried
Every night
My childhood
Mostly
A fright

My memories
Memories of you
what I held onto
Now I bleed
I bleed
Without any seed
Of hope
I bleed
I bleed
With a need
I bleed
Onto my knees
On the ground
Without a sound

No one wants to hear it
I don't want to bear it
But my memories
Memories
Of you
We're all I knew
It's how I grew
It's how we flew
Now
On the ground
With no sound
haunting
Flashes of shadows
Creeping into me
What was once bright
Now a scary sight
Now a sad plight
For help

My memories
Memories of you
Haunt me
In my dreams
In my car
From a far
In my house
In my bed
In every tear
I shed
Please please
I pled

I let it be now
I let it hurt
Let it sting
It isn't leaving
You were more then everything
Now it's mud on the ground
Now it's death with no sound
It's broken bones
And ripped veins
Its falling and reaching up
But no one's there
Falling into
Throw up

Those are my memories
Memories now
My memories
Memories
Of you

My memories
Hurt
Me
Now
And forever

Memories
...
Now and forever
Hello Daisies Apr 2023
I need
I need
I need
To believe
In something
Myself
Someone
Above

I need
I need
Insanity
Despair
Crazy
I need
To grow a pair

I need air
I need despair
Despair
Despair

It is my air

I understand
I understand
Why
They stay
Why they won't go away
Even when
Beaten and swayed
Cheated
And laid
I understand

Once you leave
Once you go
There's no place
No place
To call home

It was broken
It was bruised
it was you
It was you

Now what to do
What to do?

Go back
Go back
Turn your back

Leaving isn't sunshine
Leaving isn't forever happy
Leaving is one moment
One decision
One moment of truth
Realization

Realization fades
Realization goes gray
You begin
To sway
You begin to say

I want to go
I want to go back
I want it again

I want despair
I want crazy
I need my air
I can't grow a pair
I can't
I can't
I can't believe in
Myself
I can't believe in
Hope

I can't
I can't
I need crazy
I need stress
I need comfort
Nothing less
I need money
I need home
I need battered and bruised
I need to be used
It was you
It was you
I was too good to you
You were bad to me
It's my epiphany
I need
To be
Abused
I need you
To hurt me again
I need to be over used
Like an inkless pen
It was my purpose
My purpose
My purpose
I'm gone
Gone
I'm gone
nowhere
I'm lost
Lost
Lost
In this frost
Frost less fire
Frost less rage
I'm in a cage
I called freedom
We never have freedom

Breaking free
Is only happy
For a moment
Then it settles in
Under ur skin
You miss it
You miss them
The pain
The darkness
Was comfort
Even the mess
Was a silk dress
On your skin
Rather then sinking
In
Lost-depression
Healing
Healing
Healing
It's dealing
With the
Crazy
With the
Lazy
With the
Lost
Hopeless
Gutless
Breathing
Yearning
Draining
Spraining
My­ back
To keep track
And not
Run back
To you
Your arms
Twisting
Twisting
Twisting
My neck
Abrasions
All over
Just check
I liked it
I'm a wreck
A wreck
Without a ship
A wreck
Dusted into sea
A wreck
Meant to be
Going going
Fastly
Into
Insanity
A wreck
Trying to heal
Is like a ship
Trying to fly
It's not real

Let me wreck
Let me wreck
Let me crash
Back into you
Twist my neck
Twist my arms
Drown me again
So I can feel

The warmth
Of
Home
Hello Daisies Mar 2023
You tore out my heart
laying on the ground
Finally I hear it's sound
Pa dum pa dum
I'm obsessed with this sound
Pa dum pa dum
Pa dum
Pa dum

You tore me apart
I'm listing to my heart
All I hear is this sound
Sounds of broken magic
Sounds of something tragic
Pa dum pa dum ssss

Obsessed with such beauty
Obsessed with the sweet romance
Obsessed with the brisk October
With the warm summer nights
Waiting in lines
Reaching the destination
Seeing the stars
Falling apart
Falling
Onto my own heart
Pa dum pa dum

You tore my heart out
Laying on the ground
I'm obsessed with it's sound
Pa dum pa dum

All I hear
All I swear
It's all I hear
It's all I care
About
Your sound
Mini m&Ms
Laying on the playground
Mini M&Ms
Don't usually have a sound
When you see them
I can hear them
Pa dum pa dum
We always shared them
Pa dum pa dum


We shared many things
Secrets, truths, heartbreak
Laughter love
Adventure
We shared many
Many of these
Can you believe
I could ever let it go
Let this sound go
Pa dum pa dum

I can finally hear it again
Thank you my beloved friend
You tore my heart out
The one I thought I lost
With you in the war
Or maybe from before
Now I feel the magic
Of every moment of course
I cherish how it hurts
...hurts
It hurts ....it hurts so
Pa dum pa dum pa DUMPADUMPADUMDDUMDUMDOOOMDOOMDOOM

I cherish it so
Thank you for this pain
I dance in the blood
Of the bleeding of vein
On the ground
I dance
On the ground
To the sound
Of my torn out heart
I relish every part
From finish to start
Repeating
Cycling
    through me
  Constantly
I dance
I...
Dance
As I paint my face red
With every shade
Every piece of led
You ever fed
Me
I can taste it
I can hear it
The sound
Of the trains
Pa dum pa dum

You tore my heart out
On the ground
I am obsessed with the sound
Pa dum pa dum
The sound of trains at night
The sound of laughing and feeling alright
The sound...of inner bliss
And naivety over this
I can hear the sound
Of my heart again
Having it ripped open
I am obsessed with the ****** romance
Of feeling pain
It's better then nothing
So they say
I wish there was another way
To hear
The sound of my heart
Then having it torn apart
Laying on the ground
Pa dum pa dum
Watching it bleed out
With every
Time
I
See
Your face
Every
Time
I
See
That place
Every
Pa dum
Pa dum
Time I see the stars
Pa dum pa dum
Every
Time
I
Remember
Your
Heart
Pa dum pa dum
Every
Time ...
Every
Time
I
...pa dum pa dum
Every
Time
I
Wish
We weren't apart
Pa dum pa dum
It loses more
Blood
The sound is slowly
Mud
Until I learn to erase
Your disgrace
Until I learn
To face
My obsession
With my lost
Possession
It'll die
And the sound will go

Until then
This is all I know
To hold onto
To feel

You tore out my heart
On the ground
I'm obsessed with the sound
...pa dum pa dum
Pa...ssssss


You've won again
My once beloved friend
Hello Daisies Mar 2023
I found myself in you
I lost myself in you
The greatest parts of me
Lost in the cavalry
Will I ever know her
  Again
Will I ever show her
To a new friend

I play pretend
That getting over you
Is possible
That doing the right thing
Being responsible
Is better
Then having you
Forever

We were infinite
We were immeasurable
We were an eternity
We were
Beautiful
Now we're gone
Now we don't belong
I don't belong
I'm a void
I'm a toy
Of the world
Toss me around
I'm not a girl
I'm not even sure
If I'm alive anymore

We were amazing
We were brilliant
We were exhilarating
We were awe inspiring
We were
    Happy

A year has came
A year has left
I'm stuck in this mess
Frozen in time
Of you're left over crimes

Take me back
Help me find myself
Dust off the shelf
Of my misery
Let me see my history
In light again
I don't wanna play pretend

I want to be me
I want to be free
I want to be funny
And sweet like honey
Like we were
Where is the cure
Of the obscure
Void
I'm in.

I've always been sad
I've always had issues
We held them together
Made them better
Now I can't breathe
In any weather
I'm weaker
Then any feather

We were stronger then leather
I wore your jacket out
I tried to sew it together
Make it look better
Inside I could tell
It wouldn't last
Not in this harsh weather
It'll come undone
I couldn't except that never ever
Let me try to sew it better
Please please
Let me try
...let me
Try
Better
Please

We were young
We were red and gold
We were queens
We were sky high
We were .. .
     Epic

We were
We were
We were
I need to accept those words
I'm getting better
But I can't get myself together
I was happy
I was beautiful
I was eternity
I was
... Me
Now I'm nobody
Now I'm lost
Now I'm a void
No joy
No life
No hope
Only isolation
Only an empty
Train station
Eternally hoping
I'll see u again
Coming of the train
Running back to me
Holding eachother together
Sewing our ripped up holes
Back to warmth again
Seeing myself in your eyes
My lonely friend


I want to find me
Exit the void
I want to find
Happy
Without you
I want to find
Infinite
I want to find
...life
Again
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