You said I love you.
I say I love you more.
But love is a prime number,
and zero squared is still zero.

r ~ 5/10/14

Alright, alright fine.

I guess maybe I over reacted a little bit

I mean, I suppose it's not as though we were dating, just flirting

Flirting is a very different thing. No commitment.

It's not like you broke any promises

I guess that if I had thought that I had a chance with someone I had convinced myself I loved for a long time, I would probably have done the same thing

I'm still ****** of course, don't get me wrong

I still want to hurt you

I still hate you with every ounce of my being

I still have reason to blame you

Don't get me wrong on that.

I still blame you, and have every right to

However,

I suppose

Maybe

I don't loathe you anymore

I guess I have re-examined and a lot of it was in my head

I made up a lot and mistook lots of what you said

I'm not saying I don't believe I had every right to react negatively

But I guess I'll admit, I overreacted.

Alright?

But you still hurt me.

Even if you didn't mean to.

And I have developed a bit of a plan.

Careful.

When I dropped the plates,
When he pushed me against the wall,
When his hand was at my throat,
When nothing was right,
And I wasn't good enough,
When I was bleeding on the floor,
And the crimson stained his shoes,
When I fought his lecherous touch.
It wasn't enough to save me.

1.** You can't be good at everything.
2. Someone will always care for humanity, when everyone else have given up.
3. Not everyone will love you.
4. Words can feel like daggers.
5. Romanticizing pain won't make it hurt any less.
6. Hating your father won't change him.
7. You're worth more than just a ****** being.
8. Perfection is an unreachable goal.
9. Not everyone is out to get you.
10. Trusting someone doesn't mean there's a lower risk of them leaving you.

If I should have a daughter,
Well, I'd probably lock her away and buy her a suitor
Because I wouldn't want her to feel what I felt.
I'd probably buy her everything
So she wouldn't feel what I felt.
I'd most probably
Eventually
Turn my house into the greatest functioning dystopia
A pill would take away the pain
Everything was chosen for you
The giver, the receiver, everything mapped out
So she wouldn't feel what I felt.
I would probably find friends for her that she could trust
And she would never fight with
So she wouldn't feel what I felt.
If I should have a daughter, I would cry each night
Because I would know
Eventually, she would feel what I felt
And quite possibly more
And I don't want her to feel what I felt
So I don't think I'll have a daughter
So she doesn't feel what I felt.