I knew you cheated
Found out today
Exactly how and in what way
You disgust me

At her baby's funeral too
Unbelievable
With him
What a sin
Disgusting
Makes me want to spew
Pure unadultared lies
Come out of you

But I knew

I knew in my body and my being
You knew I knew too
Unbelievable

You made it not be true
Made me
Mad
So sad
I knew, I felt it so bad

Your eyes they told the story

In shock at a loss
Confused
Bemused
Shouldnt be cause I knew
Saw through your eyes and into
Your lies

Why didn't I listen to my intuition

I realised recently
You were dark
But that dark
Please

Its true,
I am better off
Rid of you

Poison that you rattle round
Without a sound
But it does come out
Oozing out of every pore
You're be feeling it for sure

Bitter sweet
The day is today
It's the grand finale

We have finally parted
Emotionally
**** heartless
Extreme starckness
But no more darkness

The truth will set you free
You should try it maybe

laughter: a mask
and a medicine for his pain. they pay him no mind.
to them ,
he is barely a person, a tool. his
flesh melts into metal, his arms levers, his face flat and featureless.
he mocks his fears and flaws,
his pain,
secretly hoping that
will make them
a mere joke,
a fantasy.
it fails, it always fails, but the smiley faces stenciled on his exoskeleton
of reassurance of his state of mind
are still there.
so he clatters on, joking, grinning,
his laughter his mask and his medicine.

planting and then digging up the past
like grasping hands of shattered glass
scattered patterns come back fast
an attachment to the splattered mass

blackened fragments of first and last
spattered paths that lead right back
stabbing agony that will never pass
shackled to the everlasting black

I have never been sophisticated
sophistication just never related
relative to everything i hated
hatred of the over-stated

i have never been materialistic
materialism isnt a characteristic
characterized by a mind that's realistic
realize i am not hedonistic

i never gave a **** about tradition
traditional is subject to my definition
defined by my own composition
composed of passion and ambition

look beyond the midnight skies
well past where the dim light dies
what you might find in the dark
is a brand new way to realize

look beyond what your eyes see
to where your thoughts try to flee
what you might find in your mind
is a brand new way to be free

Despite the heart which is froze
Hatred runs fluidly
Like the water in shattered glass
Like the blood in broken bones
Like the flames in our homes    
This hatred
It speaks to me
Like drugs to an addict

When it tells me to shoot
                                         I relapse and
                                       aim for the sky

I said..
In spite of my own humility
Hatred runs deeply
Like the roots beneath the dirt
Like the pain beyond the hurt
Like this poem before your eyes

I despise 
                Way too many lies
                And so little truth  

I said..
I hate beautiful  
It cripples me deeply  
For you are my pity
My pain and their pleasure

When I am high
                           I'll collapse and fall
                        Far from this place
                        Of rotten bliss

I said..
Look at me        
Blood misrepresents me    
For I am cut differently
This pain isn't felt
Like the emptiness
Residing in your cup
It is felt
Like a toxic
Living inside the gut
Like these words
Traveling directly
Towards the stomach

I mean..
             Although this addiction kills me
           Hatred is also the remedy
          It is all I need to truly appreciate
          The little love I have left.