I told her marriage was an institution.
She went mental.
I consoled myself with shooting the tortoise.
It was for the best.
There was no way it would win the greyhound derby.
She was beyond reason.
I was bringing it out of its shell.
I sort of laughed uncontrollably.
She didn’t.
She actually was trying to bring it out of its shell.
I suggested mad passionate love.
She wanted chocolates.
How about a toffee crisp and a fumble.
How about you dropping dead.
Who would pick up your pills if I dropped dead.
I would pick up my own pills.
What, you don’t know what day of the week it was last Thursday.
I was in love last Thursday.
Not with me.
No, with the pet shop owner
You do know he’s married.
He was leaving her for me.
He’s married to a bloke.
They’re both leaving their wives for me.
Is this about the tortoise.
What tortoise.
Never mind, let's get married.
Just now.
Yes, we can get married in the chemist shop
Somehow that makes sense.
What about children.
You could get them at the supermarket.
Three for two.
They hide them behind the screens now.
Children.
No silly, the alcohol I think.
They don’t hide the chocolates.
Did you really shoot the tortoise.
Yes, but the bullet bounced off its shell.
That’s good.
Not really, the pet shop owner was holding it.

i like angry poetry
the kind that churns
in your gut,
with razors for teeth
and gums bleeding.
i like the violent sound
of verbs clashing
on a decaying page,
like the shot of a gun
on a quiet day.
i like the poetry that stays,
that lies in waiting
like a dog in a cage,
words that creep like
voided birds into the
wired tress of my brain,
that pay their rent
like drunken travelers
and trash the place.
i like angry poetry
the kind that sears it's
screams to my lips,
which spirit echoes and
moans for eager,
****** eyes.
words that hit like *****,
giving their reader
a killer hangover.
i like angry poetry,
the kind that leave you
with a smoky exit.

Will you let it go
No
C'mon trust me
Trust you?
Yes I won't let you down
I'd rather jump out of an airplane without a parachute  and hope for the best, than trust you
Think we’re getting a bit melodramatic again
Do you see a sign on my head that says, kick here
I just see the woman I love
Did you see me when you were in bed with my sister
Think I explained  that scenario
Yes, and I’ve heard it called many things before, but never a scenario
You know your sister's trying to get pregnant
I’m quite aware of that, that’s why she has a husband
I know that silly, but he’s a foreigner
What's that got to do with it
It doesn’t operate in this country
What, what do you mean
Isn't it obvious, he comes from the other side of the world
So ****** what
Jesus woman, do I need to spell it out for you
Yes, spell it out, cause you’ve sure got me confused
It’s upside down
What, I didn’t know that happened
Neither did your sister, that’s what she was showing me
I was wondering why  she was so embarrassed
I know darling, now they have to go back round the world to get pregnant
My god, that’s terrible
I know, and the worse thing is, you’ll need to apologise for calling her a *****.

By Lily and Paul.