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7.2k · May 2018
My wee man
Tash Mckay May 2018
I have a nephew who's full of life
Makes me happy in this **** life .
He is the rising sun
Breaking light on every one
Helping me smile
Helping me be free
Colors just burst for he
He can not talk
He is special needs
But in his silence
I no his needs
He also smart
He understands me
He make me laugh
He so full of glee
So happy
So insightful
So misunderstood
He walks in a room
A bomb of energy
Oh dear sweet boy
I do love thee
Thankyou for trusting me
Thankyou for showing me
How to be free
You are the fastest river I ever see run
The strongest boy
So full of joy
Heart so pure
Colours dance around you when you sleep
He is the kindest wee boy you will ever meet x
My nephew is 6 he is special needs I spend a lot of time with him x we have a close bond . He such a sweetie x but he is ill in hospital so this is a poem dedicate to him xxxx I want him to be ok x
1.3k · Jun 2018
A light for you.
Tash Mckay Jun 2018
I'll hold a light for you forever
I'll lock this up
Hide it forever
But I will weep
As you have never been mine to keep
Even when we have dined and laugh at life with each other
I see behind
That smile
I'm not yours
Your not mine
Even when we have made love
Our bodys intertwine
and we both have weeped
As time stood still
In that loving moment
I still wish you the very best
And that all the world see the great hairs on your chest
Giggle
That I love so much
Yet you hate so dearly
I still will hold a light in the dark for you
I still walk in the park thinking of you
I still miss you
Should I have stayed and thought it
Thorough
Should I change just for you
No
No one should change if love is true
Time to let go
Time
Time in where another love is lost
It's time
I will wish you love
I will wish you hope
I will hold a light for you forever
I say goodbye
I let go
Time

Forever x

Natasha ***
Love lost been and gone yet still ill hold dear to me xxxx letting go ***
1.2k · Apr 2018
To write ones nightmare
Tash Mckay Apr 2018
It was night as I woke to a choking to my throat
To a squeezing to my ribs
Binding my body
Binding my feet
Restricted
Can not move
Struggle for air
A being hanging
With a stare
It did not care
I take a mouth full of air
I'm scared
Then it jumps to attack
I'm fighting on my back
An evil is apon me
I fight for my soul
The darkness to take me
It crushing the air out of me
I prey
I prey
Please leed me to light
As I fight this dark night.
I wake with a scream
A nightmare
A bad dream.
I had a recurring nightmare of being crushed to death bye a black darkness this is it x me writing about is my therapy . Thank god I don't have this nightmare no more x
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
Oh my boyfriend of mine
He started to pine
Gosh he did wine
I forgot too send him a valentine ,
And now he will not be forever mine
Now I'm in trouble I have ordered a double
I got myself in this mess
Oh look
That man looks so fresh
That's put and end to me feeling depressed,
Got a hotel room we got undressed
Now I'll let your imagination
Tell the rest.
Happy valentines
Mine was the best x
Cheeky funny ** it's all so mushy and loverly so I thought I would be naughty write this made me giggle *** just a bit of fun **
1.0k · Feb 2018
Blame someone else.
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
Listen too you don't listen too me
For i am already free as can be
Your angry at you not me
You hide behind a fake name
Your true name holds no shame
Or no fame
Don't pass the blame on someone else
Look at yourself
Don't judge me
Judge yourself
You have no right too pass the blame
Use that flame your fire within
Too start too heal
Start to begin
If unhappy
Not yet free
Look at yourself
Not me.
I have been burnt on many occasions where they blame you for there wrong doings I hated it i always put up a fight my right. If you just tell the truth you will feel better don't blame others cause you are too weak ***
873 · Jan 2018
Spring
Tash Mckay Jan 2018
I walk along same paths everyday
I never look for what on display
Birds singing dancing away
Sun out beating it's play
I feel the warm rays
This washes my cares away.

Ive walked this  path everyday
Today my feet move with the sun's dancing  beat with  the dancing of the little Robins feet.

I take my time on this warm spring day I take it all in , it warms me within

Moving with the sun beat
I'm dancing with the little Robins feet
I Shuffle muffle with the hedgehogs snuffle,  pushing through ***** leave i just love this spring time beat
I'm dancing to the little Robins feet .
I walk this same paths everyday I'm the only one on the path but I'm not little birds hedgehogs squirrels it's so busy and beautiful I love it x it makes ya feel alive x
872 · Apr 2018
Do you belive that pain is
Tash Mckay Apr 2018
I was just wondering if alot of your life is pain
bad things happen again and again how am I to explain how to be happy in lots of pain.
Do you belive we can be happy in so much pain ?
When it happens again and again do I attract the same is this my shame?
Is this my cross to bear my blame my pain.
         I just want to be happy again x
I don't want to be stained in pain just remain the shame I want to change **
   Get rid of my pain x
Not relive it again and again
    How do I become happy  
How do I face my pain
Become my change
I just want to be happy .
To not put the blame on pain
To fight my strains
Become my pain
Maybe then I can change x
Sometimes you look at yourself and think how do I shake this off I'm sick of one emotion showing none feelings how to understand one self x get rid of pain be happy *** not
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
You called us too passing ships in the night
I said oh alright, goodnight,shut the door, fell too my knees,
God  lord or jesus too whom do I pray,
As I'm in dismay too what I say ,
This language we talk of, I'm not very   good at.
we call love,
As I let myself down ,I drowned in self pity,
I show all my sides, I pray I did not hide,
Well but, a little shy,
I need a reply,
Just a look my way ,
Would help me along the road of love
Or a  warm Wray from an angels open wings
Just too hear them sing,
That would guide me in my quest for love .
I pray I fall in love use my good sides
If a little shy,
God lord or jesus hear my cry
Hear my prayers
I need a love lullabie,
I need too feel loved.
I need the right person too come my way I pray
God, lord , or jesus .
When I was little I used to prey I always got confused with god our Lord, jesus, so I used too prey too all of them names .lol bible very confusing when little and when older . I have not prayed in years .not sure what I believe really x but true love would always be good x surly if God sent him he might be good x
822 · Feb 2018
Footprint.
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
Our footprints stays in the no
Our footprint stays in the snow
Our footprints stay on the earth
Our footprint is individually defined
Individual is our footprint.
Remember where you tread
Don't be mislead
Don't stand on no one's toes
Our footprint stays on the earth
Our footprint then in the past
Our footprint x
Just we all leave this earth but even when where gone we leave our print behind our message our footprint x thankyou if you read ** and get it x
755 · Sep 2018
Weak.
Tash Mckay Sep 2018
I wish I was the light that shines through the trees
I wish I was the cool winter breeze
I wish I was the strength of the thundering seas
I wish I could see me
Like
Me
I wish I  was the butterfly
flying free
Happily
I wish I was as strong as the big oak Tree
I wish I was my mum
But I'm not
I'm ****** me

Rip my chains off
set me free
Let me be the big strong tree
Or be this tiny seed
So weak

Let me be the light through the dark trees
The latern to help me see
To help other see
How to be free.

Free of thoughts
Free
Chained up in my head I can not be free of **** thoughts I just want too sleep free xxxxx stop thinking x 2018.  Switch off. ***
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
Why is it you twist the truth
You done this game in your youth
Where did that get you
Not the truth
You only hurt you with your lies
It's you the people despise
Don't you ****** recognise
Drop your deguise
Reconise
Stop yourself in time
Stop playing the same old record
Stop playing the same old games
Become a new flame
A new day
Be kind
Be simple
Be mine.
Just a old one i wrote about the same old flame playing the same old game gets boring it did xxxx
596 · Feb 2018
Pedal stool. 2018 January x
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
I miss my love , i once was a loving girl with heart on her sleeve, till I met a man that I thought was too good for me.
Many a night we shared our thoughts,
Layed our body on knaked lawns,
We would talk for hours and ever more,
I was just in total awe.
I could not stop thinking of this man of mine, i just put him up so high so high
I could not fly,
But I thought he could, he should save the world and me too.
But yet we destroyed each other
Beat each other down
****** each other at every
chance we got, i hated him, I just hated him I become so bitter for my knight in shineing armor just did not exist.

I was heartbroken I think for the first time at 34 forevermore.
I woke up out of my fairytale
I'm not cinderella
He is not prince charming
I had put him on a pedal stool
Too high too reach...
Love x heartbroken x miss x  feel silly x
560 · Feb 2018
I hide me.
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
I hide my soul
So no one can destroy it
Pull at it
Talk too it
I hide my soul
So no one can see me
Free me.
I hide my soul
Only on paper
I do not hide,
I hide me
I'd like too be set free like the stormy seas
Like the winter breeze
For now I like too see me as
a willow Tree
This would set me free
I think
For now I'll hide me
I don't want too be free
I'm frightened .
Love x falling in love again x no thanks x maybe x no x yes x I'll like me first like I love the willow Tree x
552 · Feb 2018
Flowers x
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
The sunflower
Is so big headed
Sweet and Pretty
And she knows it.
I love looking at flowers in the garden x the sunflower is always big beautiful and bold then she is gone x
537 · Feb 2018
O.c.d.
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
I can not put my hoover down , I would rather make love too my hoover, more than a man.
My dusters I fluster
As I rub over my skin
I'm clean, there clean I'm excited with mr sheen.
Well , with Mrs fairy I better not go there,I found her very scary,
I love cleaning it excites me within,
When I do my dishes I have a massive grin.
With my mop I can reach every spot
I had Mr flash on my floor also up against the door.
I have o.c.d. you see, I just love to clean ,  it makes me want too scream
This is a obsession a thing I have too do
putting my house write how is dose so excite. I love cleaning.
I just can't not sleep if I don't have everything just so. I just wanted too take a light funny look at me. It's makes me grumpy if they muck my tins up in the cupboard.  Silly I no x a guy once said you should take your hoover too bed lol x I will.
I hoover lots and do love my hoover sad lol x
489 · Jan 2018
Chocolate
Tash Mckay Jan 2018
Oh chocolate I love thee so
You make me happy
You make feel so full of glee
You make me feel like that desperate wee that I set free
How I love thee
Chocolate.
Chocolate should never be under rated
479 · Dec 2018
I dont matter.
Tash Mckay Dec 2018
It don't matter what I do
It don't matter what u say
Who I am
Where I've been
It means nothing
We all come to a end

I see clearly now
I am just a beat
Just a name
A number
I feel free
Don't expect anything from me

I am no one
I am nothingness
I'm not lost
The world is
It all comes to the end

Memory's
Life
My name
I'm Natasha mckay
But
we all energy
That will rejoin
Energy

The end
I'm not scared
I'm not dead
I'm just seeing
Like a new born child
I mean nothing

I am nothing.

But energy.

I see everything.
I will have an affect on my kids but not be on that I will end up  nobody just a energy to the universe that's it star dust.looking how when my life matters it don't.  I'm just here existing.  It want matter. 2018.
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
Don't you try and tell me  my dear friend  that how love can be so beautiful, when all love brought me was shattered parts of my personality
, that I'm still picking up today.
Don't tell me that true love will make me a better person all love made me was bitter , sad., lonely. .lost, weak
I will sit on the self forever collect dust
Bitterly tasting nothing.I will safely rote away .
I don't no well I do I have a aunt who is only in her 50s she is so bitter from love so hurt she will never look again. Sad x she hates people no one talks too her she is so angry I just had too put it down x how she sees love . I hope one day she will be happy x
461 · Mar 2018
Woods for dad x
Tash Mckay Mar 2018
Deep in the woods of summer gleam
Where fairy's float
And daffodils smoke
Mushrooms of purple polkadot green
I'm there singing on the breeze
I'm there flowing on the streams
I'm there always in your dreams
Please don't forget me

Deep in the woods of trees dark green
Where fairy's float And boats afloat on the streams I'm there always in your dreams  on the streams
Please don't forget me

Deep in the woods where flowers flirt
Where the wee men are hard and work
Trees all talking hearing your words
As they all whisper
Please don't forget me.
I promise you dad I forgive thee
I've told the trees and they can tell thee x

I promise you we all forgive thee x
For my dad who was a little mad but sad always asked us too never forget him x and I forgive him he was ill cxxxx he use too tell us great storys of wee men that lived in the woods and fairy's great story teller one of the best he was xxxx
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
I've been called a monster before
I thought thats a lie
But I hide just like a monster
Deep inside I have a part of me I hide
I despise.

I don't want too be a monster
That hides
I scare people away with just one stare
I frighten  my kids away
I will not be a monser

I will not be that monster
That shouts and scream in my dreams
That eats my soul
while I sleep.

I will beat my monster
I will love myself
I will  care for my monster
So it never give a stair that scares people away.
I will smile like a sunrise
And play like a rainbow too brighten my kids day.
I will care abouy my monster So it feels it safe.

I don't want too be a monster.
Selfishness x temper x not likeing myself x
Learning too love yourself x looking after yourself x being the grown up x
448 · Feb 2018
We Pretend .
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
Why can I not get you too love me so
Why do we pretend at home?
Why do I moan your still around
Pretending with your quit frown.

I'll show you all my emotions
And shuv them down your throat
Until you choke,
But still you pretend too love me
Still we play like little dolls
In a little perfect house
I wonder what would happen
If I gave up this pattern?

Why do we do this silly merry go round,
Why do we pretend you love me
Why do we not  let this pretend  love die
Why do you do this?
Why do you just please me
Please leave me,
Please just leave me alone.
2nd best x never settle for it x I feel like this or did x
444 · Jan 2018
Cowboys and indians
Tash Mckay Jan 2018
When I was a child I played in dens
I played cowboys and Indians over and over again
I wish now I could play them games again.
Be in the safety  of my play den.

The safety of my mother's arms the safety of you fathers love the comfort of my brothers fun.

Now I'm a adult I'm in four walls a house they call it it has a door .

I don't like this new den no more
I want too play cowboys and Indians with my brothers once more x
This is about Danny and Brian they are my brothers . We had a hard childhood. I have not made my adult life easy for myself x but growing up i had the safety of my big brother this is for him *** he made me safe xxxx
357 · Feb 2018
Shadows of the night
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
Shadows of the night
How they give such a fright
My wee girl jumps
She hears a bump
Its  a monser mummy under my bed
I jump too the rescue
Too save her sleep
I make this monsters of her run  cause I'm the freak
Eek says the monster, he runs
A mummy angry is no fun
****** run.x
A mummy angry
Defending her daughter not a pretty site x
For millie  and lilly xi tell them I will scare the monsters away x a mummy angry will save the dayxxxx
333 · Mar 2018
Heart breake
Tash Mckay Mar 2018
My subconscious is stuck on you
My thoughts hate you
My heart still feels you
My eyes still see you
My voice still speaks you
My sleep still dreams of you
My feeling miss you
My pain is still you
I miss you .
Heartbreaking they fall out of love with you  but your left feeling x want too forget x
275 · Feb 2018
The rose.
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
The rose is red
Passionate
Inviting you too smell his colour
Drawing you in
His petals like silky sheets
On your skin
Delicate thin
He makes you hot and steamy deep within x
Flowers valentine's just made me laugh x
271 · Feb 2018
Old man lonely
Tash Mckay Feb 2018
Old man sitting in his seat
In his eyes lays defeat
Lonely looking down at his feet
Hearing what's outside his window
Children playing young and nibble.

Old man sitting in his chair
He is in so much despair
Running his fingers vigorously through his hair
Lonely and lost
No one to talk too
******* himself ,
has no self care
His family he raised
All gone away
No one too say
I hear your voice x
Hello
Just hello, how are you today x
Conversation with himself.

Why do they just leave me alone
Sitting in my chair no one cares
My family i raised I worked myself too the bone
For what
For this
Too sit alone
The loneliness it's talking too me taunting me .
Sad old man
******* yourself
You may as well hang yourself
Do us all a favor
The old boy stands on his lonely chair
Hangs himself.
Just worry about all older generations need too look after them x I hate seeing people lonely xI work at a shop with a lot of older people who go home it's just them the shop where I work saves them sometimes other times a cuppa and a chat just helps xcx
262 · Jan 2018
Moon beams x
Tash Mckay Jan 2018
Over the meadows far away millie played with  mr moon beam that lived across the bay

They floated in banana boat's
They claimed up sugar hills
They sprinkled sparkle stardust upon the frosty hills.

Over the meadows far away millie played with Mr moon beam who lived across the bay

They fly on cotton candy  clouds  to catch a shooting  star
They would eat rainbow icecream too make her dreams go far.
Back across the meadows come across the bay there is millie playing happy in her own special way x

Good night Mr moon beam I hear her say at the end of each and everyday ***
About my 5 year old great imagination x
256 · Jan 2018
Perfick. Perfect.
Tash Mckay Jan 2018
I proud too say I'm clean today
That should f###king please ya
I proud too say I got out of bed today
That should cause you a sence of relief
As your kids I've taken too school
That should F###king please ya
Oh partner of mine so strong  and fine so perfectly devine . No floors I can find.
That should f###king please ya .

I cleaned my house today like everyday
That should f###king please  ya
I played with the kids i read them story's
I acted a fool we played barbie ball
And Princess's rule. ,
But yet I can never please ya
So now I've decided to leave ya
That will f###ing please ya . Lol lol x
PS.
Love miss not perfick
I hope you f###king find  her.
Just making light on how I see my ex partner this made me laugh.
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