It’s been years since i felt something, anything.
I am willing to accept the jabs and stomach the turmoil of heartbreak. Only if it means i get to feel again.

When I’m intoxicated I tend to think about you less.
Maybe my thought process becomes more bearable.
Maybe I should stop blaming you for my toxic habits.
But then again you are my biggest one.

What a waste, I feel like a waste of space.
I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulder and everyone expects so much from me, I can’t bare it. I can’t take it.

All of this pressure most of it comes from myself because I want to be better, because I want more for myself and I don’t know how to go about it.

I am sick of where I am but I am so scared to begin again.

I hope one day I find someone that knows how to catch me when I fall,
kisses me so I can shut up,
listens attentively to every word I say when I think I talk too much.

Someone that bends down to tie my shoelace.
A friend,
a lover,
a shoulder to cry on
and a back to give my inner child a piggy back ride.

someone to play with me,
someone that entices me and keeps my passion alive,
Someone that keeps the fire in my burning because I am already lit.

I am already burning I’m just so tired of people that put out my fire instead of adding fuel to let me truly flourish.

It is looking at myself in the mirror,
without pulling my nose in slight disgust.
It is how I managed to pull myself out of bed every single morning,
even though I dread mornings.
It is learning to love your scars
and appreciate your annoying habits.
It is continuously choosing yourself every day.
It is reassuring your body and mind,
that although you don’t show it enough gratitude, you still love it.

I am with bone and skin, but I am woman.
I am vulnerable to the other gender,
they don’t seem to notice that I am indeed human to.

Being born a woman is both a curse and a blessing.
we embrace it all,
we are both the sun and the moon, we are women.
I am a woman, yes but I am so much more than that

Stop looking for things to distract you.
Don’t occupy your time with silly things to keep you from facing
your mind,
your fears,
you.

Stop trying to out run yourself,
haven’t you realized you both keep the same pace.
You both have the same strengths and weaknesses.
Do something about it.