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Anonymous Apr 2015
I know you won’t be there
Tomorrow,
The next day,
Or even a year from now.
Maybe that’s why my bed has become more of a hide out
Than a temporary place to rest my head,
It has become my lover,
Memorizing the shape of my body
And the inconsistent thump of my heart
It has memorized all of the words I mumble through nightmares
And it has not left my side.
My bed is my lover,
Because sometimes reality is too painful to face,
Sometimes I can remember your voice a little bit better
If I hide behind my sheets,
Because the soft white walls won’t let the sadness seep in
And reality seems more like a dream than it does a truth
I miss you,
But you've gone to a new world;
The one where memories are born
Anonymous Feb 2015
My therapist made me cry once
He kept prodding "tell me about her, tell me how she died"
A lump formed in my throat
And that night began to play over and over again
"There's not much to tell"
He didn't back down,
he had already burrowed beneath my skin
My tongue felt like a noose:
My words betraying my best friend
I had become so frightened to talk about her
That I began to simplify her into a nothingness
"I don't want to talk about her today"
"It happened so long ago I don't remember much" (Lie)
"What's got you down today, court?" "Nothing."
"It's okay to cry sometimes you know.."
"I don't need to cry. I'm stronger than that"
She became the "nothing" and "I'm fine" to all of the "whats wrong's"
My tongue had formed a noose and somehow slipped around the neck of Erin
She didn't just die that night,
She died inside me too.
I deleted every memory of her, every trace
My mind flooded with thoughts about her,
Until finally the silence was too much for him...
"Keep going Courtney, you're making so much progress"
This time my tongue did not betray her,
It only betrayed me as words slipped out of my mouth
It happened in such an eerie way;
I watched the words slowly roll off my lounge
And just before I could swallow them back down they vanished before me
Warm tears fell onto my denim jeans
As he finished speaking I stood up and reached for the door handle
Finally, it was over.
But just as I slipped out his office he offered me 5 more words,
"This is just the beginning."
Anonymous Dec 2014
I know he didn't leave bruises on your body,
But when I grazed my fingertips along your thigh
I felt him there
For a moment I watched his blackness bleed into your blue veins;
I couldn't stop it from poisoning your bloodstream
And transforming your perfect ivory skin into
His very own art piece,
Every brush stroke
Was drenched in a rich mauve
And you became his blank canvas.
Everybody says they'd like to be compared to the universe
But as I sat beside you
I watched the sky transform before me:
You,
A bright blue,
With warm eyes and sun rays for smiles
A cotton candy pink,
One that reminds you of childhood and fairs
A golden orange
That makes the sky look as if heaven is pouring down on earth;
You we're burning your brightest
Until finally,
You began to fade into a soft periwinkle.
And from there the sky grew into a dark mauve
Leaving every witness speechless at the sight.
His purple dipped paintbrush covered your body;
You we're speechless.
But he didn't stop, his masterpiece wasn't complete-
So he drenched you in such a deep violet that you became black
And I watched the universe open up before me;
Beckoning me to come inside
Your darkness or your depth did not discourage me,
You became my favorite shade;
A never ending sunset,
A sky filled with promise and hope
Even after the darkest of nights
Anonymous Oct 2014
I used to wonder
Why emptiness feels so heavy
But-
I think we've all convinced ourselves
That we're empty
It's easier than accepting the truth,
Saying your empty is like committing suicide
It's a cop out;
It gives you the excuse to live
Without actually living
Anonymous Oct 2014
I once dated a boy
Who told me that all artists are broken
But he didn't understand
That all humans are broken
And he would chain smoke cigarettes in the rain
Praying to a God he didn't believe in
Because he wished so badly to be dead
"all artists are broken"
Does that mean you're an artist?
Or did it just provide you an excuse
To label me as broken
Anonymous Oct 2014
Her collar bones are like shelves
Begging to be touched
But I bet passerby's don't notice
Her left one is bigger than her right
I kiss that one most,
I trace my fingertips along the frame
That supports her
And I'll trace over her rib cage
Like I'm planting flowers between them
Hoping that one day it'll sprout flowers
All the way to her mouth
And that one day they'll touch her heart
In a way that tickles all of her insides
And I wish her eyes we're really windows into her soul
Because I swear even though they're not
I can't seem to ever find my way
Out of her dark chestnut eyes
I'll kiss the knots of her spine
And hope that the way I kiss her
Feels differently than the way she's ever been kissed before
I trace her freckles
As if I'm touching her for the first time
My god every time I touch her
I feel like shes writing poetry into my skin
And I don't ever want to stop feeling her
I want my body to be covered in her poetry.
Anonymous Oct 2014
You
I love you
Sometimes I just want to fall asleep
Holding you in my arms
Our heartbeats in sync
And the silence of a dark room
Filled with only our deep breaths

Sometimes I want you
In such a way that my eyes become hungry
And they devour every curve your lips provide
They prey on the beauty in your eyes
In those moments
I want to get lost in between your legs
And underneath fist clenched sheets
I want to get lost in every bit of you

I love you in the most innocent passion filled way
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