Making up my mind

Making up my mess

Making up the imaginative possibilities of what once was just wishful thinking

Alas discovery in its limitless depths is consuming my core

As I surrender to its harmonizing entanglements

Vibrant colors nearly blinding the experiences yet still finding its loop holes to skip through with joy

Maybe ready is not concrete but merely a myth

With no matter of facts

Presently I stand and reach out to tap into each color

Each one whispering ticklish nows
Bursting fingertip tastebuds in each soulful interaction

While I sit back and enjoy the show

Having the sense of urgency to explore the diamond in the rough

The urgency to climb the highest peak
Urgency to follow my own lead
To kiss the face of God
While dancing so effortlessly on hot coal

To be in tune with the cries of mankind's heart for love

Understanding that all that ever makes sense is the here and now
After all it is all that is
And in it I will soar to unimaginable heights
While others drink of envy and deceit

I soar

I wonder
how our great creator
built a vessel
strong enough
to contain my soul?

Each day my spirit fights
against my skin with violent
jolts as a young bird
seeking exit from a cage.

Unfettered psyche
free from me
bounces among clouds
rolls through deserts,
climbs volcanic ridges
migrates with birds in flight.

Curious instincts guide
my vital force inside and out
like honey bees
scour zinnias in full bloom.

Dare I release my spirit today?

I always loved my grandmother
As most young boys do
She held me tight
Singing in her terrible voice
Sharing her world with me
I still recall peeling fresh apples
As we mixed and mashed for pie

When age overcame her,
When her body betrayed her,
When I was not there
When wounds are eternally fresh

Age came for me too,
With it, a swell of dark secrets
Ones of devils, so close to home
I wondered, what person could dwell
With family, in a home, here in hell
A grandafather I never knew, forked tongue
And perversions in the brain
His grave forgotten, while his scars remained

Perhaps she did the best she could
Turning a blind eye against a fiend
But as closed doors reveal themselves
A twisting vine of hate creeps and crawls
Sinking its roots in memories skewed
In rose colored glasses, as I unshaken gaze
Into the endless ripples of repercussions

In the sea of blessings
I dive.

Sparkling drops surround my mind.

Sparkling drops
And waves of tide
Where I abide.

I am like your bride
Standing at the seaside
And
Joining this joyride
On the tide
Of moments called life.