I told you I was lonely
And to please turn on the light
But you seem not to have heard me
Because it's dark as **** tonight

I was wallowing in sadness
But now I've got this anger, too
And the more drawn out this scilence
The stronger rage will brew

You're a selfish *******
And now I'm glad we said goodbye
What kind of man ignores a girl
When she says she wants to die

I can't believe you're so **** cold
A sub-zero arctic freeze

But the fire of another man
Has brought me to my knees

I get high off of watching preconceived notions of self go up in flames
Off of knowing that my words were the spark
and the breaths between them the wind that fed the fire
Off of watching the phoenix rise from the ashy remnants of it’s former being
Off of my heartbeat echoed in the beating of its wings

Knowing that I wrote the song this new bird sings.

The buzzing of the phone
a hand held device
that gets in the way of a hand holding life
and you can lie awake at night with thousands of "friends"
but I have a **** hard time believing
this was what Zuckerberg intends
when he says "what's on your mind?"
but nobody wants to know
unless your thoughts are endorsed
as was your image which was forced

filtering out reality
true colors getting dimmer
and when you're looking in the mirror
but you can't see yourself anymore
without the edits and "corrections"
and the comments "such a *****"
that creep into your subconscious
'til you can't take it anymore

and somewhere in the iCloud
a thing went very wrong
when you were sprawled out in bed naked
in your bra and in your thong
and now the whole world thinks they own you
and you've gone and lost yourself
and that phone has taken everything
forget connection, where's your health
healthy relationship
why's your bed so ******* cold
you've got your hand held device
but where's your real life hand to hold?

Flower child,
they tell me that I can't afford to give my love away for free
quantifying it is a limited good
as though I am passing my self-worth out like candy to greedy children
leaving nothing left for me

Flower child,
they tell me that if I must speak
that I must shout to be heard
should my soft speech and gentle words be swept away
in the strong tide of self interest

Flower child,
they tell me I must dress in uniform
but I fear that I will drown in the sea of normalcy
unable to swallow air through the tightness of my collar and heaviness
of pin-striped monotony

Flower child,
is it so bad to love unboundedly?
to channel strength through vulnerability?
to let one's soul greet the eyes of a stranger?

Keep knocking on my door,
pounding till I'm sore
shout at me so loudly-
I can't hear you anymore

Now you're holding neon versions
of the signs I didn't see
And though it's clear you try your best,
You won't make a victim out of me.

I wasn't sure
I wasn't sure how
  I wasn't sure how you felt
   I wasn't sure how you felt when your smile made me melt
   Your smile made me melt
  I wasn't sure how you felt
I wasn't sure how
I wasn't sure

Her happiness was measured in milligrams-
the dosage of her Prozac,
or the amount of alcohol she didn't drink
alone in her room
and the number of men who lay on her bed
for twenty minutes-
thirty, on a good day.

The lengths we will go to feel alive
when what we really want is death.