I’m at a really vulnerable place in my life
I’m fragile and scared
Trying to figure what's there and where to go from here
My life is flashing before my eyes
20 something years have just flown by
And then I think of the life I've lived
And how it has taken much longer to become stronger
I’m still not as strong as i could be
There's room to improve me
God I hope I can always feel that way
I never want to stop growing
I want to be the best me
But sometimes you have subpar days
And that's okay, be patient
You're still blooming every day

I have a lot things that mean a lot to me
My dog, my job, my friends, my family
But the thing that means the very most to me
The thing that I am working so hard towards
The thing that gives me motivation to be better than before
Is something I can not hold, or rush towards
It is a future scene of you and me
Multiple dogs and a mountain breeze
The sweet smell of autumn leaves
And the coffee I brewed for you while you were asleep
The sound of sweet little feet running to great
You and me, having a beautiful family is what I really dream
Little kids running around with us trying to get them to settle down
A beautiful wife who i get to hold tight every night
Show my kids how to really treat the love of your life right
Take you on dates every Friday night, but were too excited to kiss the kids goodnight
So we come home early and cook our own dinner
Because who needs fancy meals when we know i’m the real winner
Your intelligence, your care, your drive for your career,
I’m sure you’ll be the mother of the year
And i will be a fool for you every day, my dear
This is why i am the first to arrive and last to leave
Because I am working so ******* this future for you and me

Her eyes smile just like her mouth does,
Like there’s just so much happiness inside her she might combust.
And her laugh makes me feel like I could fly,
Nothing seems impossible when I have her by my side.
No night too dark or day too long, as long as I get to go home to her arms.

I know you have a girlfriend
I know this can’t go anywhere
I know this might be wrong
I just can’t help but stare
and somehow
I just always wish your lips could be near
I know I can’t be clear and say how I really feel
It’s too soon, too early, too late,
Always bad timing with these sort of things
Not to mention it would hurt somebody
And it wouldn’t be fair but that hasn't stopped me
From wanting to kiss you in the middle of a thought
Trying to get your words out seems so hard
Your stutter is adorable and I just want to hold you
Just know you’re shady as hell sending me cute snaps
Behind her back, not hitting the number
Because that leaves more to cover
I’m just glad for some justification
I can’t be the only one feeling this way
But thoughts like that can’t stay, were just friends
I’m a nobody, she's got something good going
She's told me she doesn't want it ruined by anybody
So you will never know and i will never say
Way too much drama, we probably wouldn't last anyway
Those are the kind of thoughts I have to make myself think
Just to keep me from falling in love with somebody else's somebody

And I realize why my mom was sad all the time,
being an adult is a never ending ride.
It’s full of superficial things that you can’t take with you when you die
It’s the impending doom that lurks behind, the reason why you want to cry
The realization that we’re just dots on a land mass
There’s nothing special or important about any of us
What’s the point when you realize we’re all just dead inside
Just trying to figure how to really be alive
The realization that this nothingness will be with you for the rest of your life
Death changes from sadness to luck, we become jealous of those who become unstuck
Those who are able to leave their minds and this ****** life behind
We all dream of a semi truck hitting us from behind, rendering us blameless
No one can be that sad, I didn’t do it by my own hand
Were past the point where we would put a bullet between our eyes
But that doesn’t mean we still don’t want to die

The problem with the world today is that we’ve been taught that there is a beginning and ending with everything.
Songs, cinema, books, education, it all starts and eventually stops and ends.
But real life isn’t that way and it never will be.
If i were to write out the whole story of you and me you’d see a perceived beginning, a middle but no ending.
Our stories and feelings can’t be plotted on a graph or a timeline like history class.
They’re infinite and full of depth, we are never ending with no beginning.
And I think that’s why we get all ****** up..
Because we expect to have all the lose ends *******.
We think the heartbreak should mend
and the happiness may eventually end
But they are all flowing and growing, shrinking and showing.
There is no end of a relationship, only the pause of that which could happen again.
Whether this life or the next, maybe the previous or the past.
Either way your spirits may reconnect, hence there is no past and also no last.