Eddie John

Eddie John Oct 2017

Untitled

In my mind I never try
I figure it out easily and never have to cry
Everyone talks about potential
But I think I lost mine in the instrumental
When life gives you lemons you make lemonade
When life gives me lemons I find another way
If Genius lives one story above madness
Than which story is the story of sadness.
I think that effort is the one thing I can never give
Because I don't even know how to but effort in because it was never necassary
Now I'm just lost because I don't know how to live
But now it seems to me that your just my adversary

When you never have to try to succeed in life, than do you even have potential?... this is a concept I struggled with for years

#genius #effort #potential

Eddie John Oct 2017

Darkness

The dungeon of my mind has no windows, it has no doors, there is no escape. Only the cold floor, it's always dark, there is no light. The fire in my soul is dying, I've lost all hope. I'm drowning in my self doubt. Most people fear death or heights or some outside force, but my biggest fear is the darkness inside my mind.

I don't know what to say about this one other than... ****

#darkness #depression #anger #fear #guilt #**** #****

Eddie John Oct 2017

Puff After Puff

I puff and puff and hope to forget. The pain she brought and all the ****. She ****** me up and here I sit. just wishing She never through that fit. I punch the wall, once then twice. A thousand times flash before my eyes of the things I said that weren't my lines. I wish I could take them back but the rage I felt took over my body and mind. I lay here wishing that I hadn't messed up what I had. Cause if I hadn't said those stupid things I would still have that life. When I see you smiling having a good time it makes me hurt because you used to me mine. I used to be your joy but now I'm nothing to you but an old toy. So here I sit and puff and puff and hope to forget..

This ones about a toxic relationship, and the inner dynamics of feeding off each other's unhealthy habits. Destroying each other and ourselves.

#depression #toxicrelationships #addiction

Eddie John Sep 2017

Ignorance

A man with no words,
Fights with his fists

This is my philosophy to life. When life gives you violence, sort it out with logic, reasoning, and well spoken words.

#intelligence #vs #ignorance

Eddie John Sep 2017

Fire

The fire burns through my chest. The blood drawn from my skin is fresh. I make mistakes but I try my best. I feel the heat burning my flesh. The smell of burnt skin and blood makes me dizzy. I call a friend but I guess he's to busy. To answer a friend in need of assistance. I tell my parents "I just need some distance." I say I'm fine but I'm dying inside. I hear the voices and I try to hide. But I can't get away cuz they're in my mind. I can't stop the feeling of this fire inside.

Depression hits like a truck and it has no breaks

#depression

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