I am shattered to pieces
This pain I am feeling is so natural yet
It came to me unannounced
Was I so oblivious to the extent I became blind
I've been here before
Is this deja vu or I was just plain stupid

I am drawn to it
Theres no doubt
Now that ive glimpsed behind the curtain
Theres no way I could live without

The wisdom there, the fantasy
All grounded within reality
Cleanse a room with a loud noise
Poise is no longer mandatory

Crystals, carving sigils
This is where I belong
After so long
I have finally found a place

Too sad to shed a tear.
Too dazed to be confused.
Too chaotic to be angry.
Too broken to write anything sensible.
Too much of everything is dreadful.

It's not that
I don't care about you
It's only that
I care about me

- enough it's enough

I just wanted to make you smile
Your eyes were sad
And your heart had a void
I wanted to fill you up
And give you the warmth
That I was searching for
But I ended up making you bleed
And I'm sorry
I just wanted to love you

I wore our relationship like an old noose
Because I liked the feeling of the heaviness , the feeling of my breath slowly escaping me
But it was always my fault.
Your words spit fire leaving my heart aching
Your hand print rests on my skin as a reminder that I was wrong.
I apologize that I keep falling apart before your glue has time to dry.
But I’m tired and ashamed
My glue doesn’t want to stick anymore
I have kissed boys
Girls
People in between but lately
I’ve been kissing bottles
Their lips are colder than yours
The blade that kisses my wrist reminds me that I’m not alone Because I would rather bleed to know I’m alive then try to pick myself back up for you, but , I apologize for my broken heart.