C Mahood

C Mahood Jun 2018

Time for school,
Get out of bed,
Come on now lazy,
I know your not dead.

Stop pretending,
don’t make a fuss,
You need to get dressed,
Or you miss the bus!

No time for a shower,
Get washed in the sink.
Remember your ears,
And you pits or you'll stink!

Get some toast and your shoes,
Then strait out the door,
No you cant pull a sickie,
So Get up off the floor!

You’ve eaten your breakfast,
Now your belly is full,
Now get out of my sight,
GET YOUR **** INTO SCHOOL!

Tee typical words of a Mother from Ulster.

#funny #irish #ulster #mammy #random #childerens #poetry #nonsence

C Mahood Jun 2018

Attack of the moon rabbits

They're back, They’re back, Were under attack,
The lunar rabbits are out for a snack!
Alert the army, the navy and scrabble the jets,
The rabbits on the moon are down here with nets.
They come armed with cannons with weird purple goo,
They fire brown bullets like moon rabbit poo.
We have to fight back, with our own ***** bombs,
So, Fire the grannies in pink frilly thongs!
If that doesn't scare the big moon bunnies back,
Send in the school teachers, send them in in a pack!
Armed with rulers and dusters and big books of maths,
Throwing questions and fractions and patronizing laughs.

Alert all the animals from around the whole globe,
From the great Megladon to the smallest microbe,
Get the Austrian emu with the horns on its feet,
And the machine gun bees to assemble their fleet.
Call the ninja koalas and the samuari fox,
And rats in the prisons with socks full of rocks.
Ring the axe weilding pugs from Norway’s fjords,
And the peacocks from turkey with tails made from swords
Then maybe we can ride into battle on the back of a beast,
The mysterious king ***** that migrate from the east.
Well almost be ready to hold back the attack then,
I fell for that story once, I will not fall for the same trick again.

When i wrote "Rabbits on the moon" i would read it to my many pupils who loved it and always wanted more. So this is the sequel i suppose? Silly, Ridiculous nonsense!

#random #funny #silly #child #poetry #fantasy #randomscifi

C Mahood Jun 2018

A Rural Haunting

The sound of the dead,
Make no more a chill,
Than the gentle breeze,
Of a morning draft,
Whispering through,
Ivy covered windows,
of an empty,Thatched roof cottage.

With words,
Sticking like ice,
From the dead lips of the departed owner.
Through hinges that creek their request,
Remember I, Remember.

Written on reflection of my wife's grandmother's "House in the country."
An overgrown remnant of more rural times, miles outside Omagh, N.Ireland.
The air was full of memory and past lives, empty yet warm, haunting not with fear or cold, but a house begging not to be forgotten as the weeds and thistles continue to over run the road and the courtyard.

#haunting #irish #ghost #stories #ghosts #ireland

C Mahood Jun 2018

bought a second book to write between the pages

I bought a second book to write between the pages.

Sometimes I make corrections
On words that are only wrong to me
Sometimes I try to write the wrongs
That nobody else can see.

Sometimes I tear the pages out
And scatter them in the fire
Sometimes I try to rewrite those words
Late at night untill I tire.

Sometimes my dust cover slips away
And my hardback seen beneath.
With brused wet edges torn away
Like a wolf that shows its teeth.

I do not want the world to see
scribbles, drawn in many stages
So I bought myself a second book.
To write between the pages.

#contemplative #emotional

C Mahood Jun 2018

The little folk of Ireland

Faries live in the hawthorn,
Gnomes live under rocks,
Trolls stay under bridges,
And nessie’s stay in the Loughs.

Pookas come close to farmers,
Changlings come to babes,
Spirits in the mirrors,
Kelpies in the waves.

The little folk are trouble,
In the heat they bring the cold,
They trick the weary traveler,
With pots of magic gold.

They whisper on the breeze,
While hidden in the mist,
Without them doing anything,
Remind you they exist.

They write about themselves,
So we don’t think they’re real,
They carved the lines in oghm,
magic words in ancient ghael.

Yet still we leave them gifts,
Bits of whisky & pooka’s share,
We have never ever seen one,
Yet we know that they are there.

#irish #childrens #mythology #fantasy #celtic

C Mahood Jun 2018

Rabbits on the moon

Rabbits on the moon

So much of the universe I didn’t know,
Like the Antarctic dolphins that live in the snow.
Or the ostrich of Scotland that wears a pink kilt,
And the Icelandic sunflowers that never shall wilt.
There’s kittens than swim in the cold baltic sea,
Or the cobras of Poland with raspberry ***.
There are turtles with shells made of musical twine,
And bulldogs in France that crush grapes into wine.
The are sloths up In Finland that wear woolly hats,
Made from the hair of some ginger Swiss cats.
There are budgies that swim in the seas deepest cracks,
And hamsters in Egypt with humps on their backs.
But nothing compares to my favourite ****** toon,
Did you know there are wild rabbits that live on the moon?
They are scary and angry and take people from tours.
They pull at their legs, just like I’m pulling yours.

#funny #random #childrens #fantasy

C Mahood Jun 2018

An airship for me to share.

An airship for me to share.

I wish I had an airship,
And flew up into the sky.
I’d wave to all the people,
They’d wave back as I flew by.

I wish a had my airship,
Nestled high up in the clouds,
Away from pointing fingers,
Nasty jokes, and lots of crowds.

I would take my airship,
Over mountains to the sea,
Find a quiet place above the waves
With only room for me.

I wish I had an airship
That made my problems go away
Maybe someday I’ll be free,
But maybe not today.

I wish I had an airship,
To help me make a friend.
But only one who really cares,
Not one that will pretend.

If I had myself an airship,
What would everybody say?
Would they want to get to know me,
Or miss me when I’m away?

I will have the greatest airship,
With a massive big balloon.
I will save up all my pennies,
I’m sure I could Buy one soon.

When I buy my airship
I will fly it past my school.
When the kids look out window,
They will finally think im cool.

I just really want and airship,
To see how freedom feels.
And not to always be stuck inside
My Annoying chair with wheels.

I wish I had an airship
So everyone could see
I’m not just a boy in a wheelchair,
There is so much more to me.

Until I get my airship,
I will keep it in my head.
At least in there I’m Always free,
To dream and look ahead.

I wish I had an airship
So everybody knew,
I’m not that different after all,
I’m just the same as you.

#steampunk #airship #fantasy #scifi

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