I know there are many here who pray,  
So if my words aren't yours today,  
Please turn away, for this is mine—  
A truth I carry, yours not to define.  

When they speak of God, their voices pure,  
I can't take it in, can't feel secure.  
For God was not there when I called,  
In moments dark, when I had fallen.  

I search for answers in the silence, deep,  
Wondering why I was left to weep.  
So when they speak of faith and grace,  
I question if it's just a trace.  

I don’t deny their right to believe,  
But in my heart, there's a different weave.  
For God was absent when I needed light,  
Leaving me alone in the longest night.

Eyes on me
Ones that I can clearly see
It gets creepy once I notice multiple of them
Look, I know I'm pretty but that's a bit too far

I see your eyes trained on me
As if you were a nasty beast
Ready to pounce on your prey
It makes it weird since all of them are eyes of a adult
Making me more uncomfortable

Following me to my car
Following me to my home
Following me afar
Following me til I roam

Unsettling
They all seem to have lust in their eyes
Looking at me up and down
They ain't doing it with a frown

Leave me alone
Just a young 12 year old minding my business
If you have a certain bone
Don't talk to me
Simple

it's a long way down
but i'm good at waiting for the end
in the myriad sea of faces
i don't think i see a familiar friend
sometimes, i feel so terrifyingly alone
please, can you fix this feeling of despair
and free me from this never-ending nightmare?

Once you drew me naked,
And I did not recognize the man,
A stranger in my skin,
I couldn’t trace where I began.

& really, do you even mean what you say? why do we feel like a trap, you were never supposed to be a prison stay. in all actuality you freed me. i mean, at least that’s what i used to think. now i guess i just feel used. finding myself wanting to go back to the forgotten days. how'd i ever let it get this far? hell, where do i begin? your smile. your lips. a promise, never to be fulfilled. an ache, a need, a dismissed agenda. words cannot express the pain that forms when you say you don’t remember. is there something that i missed? i can’t help myself from going back. i voluntarily drown in our memories. you fill my lungs, take my breath, you can keep everything that’s left.

I'm the fruit you left
to die on the vine
so don't be surprised
when I don't give you my time.

A world, hidden in a lover's eye—
Outsiders ought not to oversee.
It's where anything can come by,
Where ordinary would be a beauty.

Yes, dear reader,
It's the lover's eyes,
A realm much deeper,
Where all the magic lies.

Don't turn away,
Don't shun the flame
Let it softly stay—
It's love, not shame.

Sometimes I wonder
If you'd even remember
What you did

I think you cared
Once
But that was a while ago

Before you took everything from me
My heart, soul, and name
And left me without even the memory of you

I asked him how he dealt
with his father-loss
babbling the words out
in all my anxious longing.

"I know, Son,"
his voice came
from across the world
like a Father's always does.

"That tightness
in the chest...
Yes,
I know."

I had never felt closer
to another man.

I had never felt more
like his son.

I had never felt
more understood.