& really, do you even mean what you say? why do we feel like a trap, you were never supposed to be a prison stay. in all actuality you freed me. i mean, at least that’s what i used to think. now i guess i just feel used. finding myself wanting to go back to the forgotten days. how'd i ever let it get this far? hell, where do i begin? your smile. your lips. a promise, never to be fulfilled. an ache, a need, a dismissed agenda. words cannot express the pain that forms when you say you don’t remember. is there something that i missed? i can’t help myself from going back. i voluntarily drown in our memories. you fill my lungs, take my breath, you can keep everything that’s left.

I'm the fruit you left
to die on the vine
so don't be surprised
when I don't give you my time.

A world, hidden in a lover's eye—
Outsiders ought not to oversee.
It's where anything can come by,
Where ordinary would be a beauty.

Yes, dear reader,
It's the lover's eyes,
A realm much deeper,
Where all the magic lies.

Don't turn away,
Don't shun the flame
Let it softly stay—
It's love, not shame.

Sometimes I wonder
If you'd even remember
What you did

I think you cared
Once
But that was a while ago

Before you took everything from me
My heart, soul, and name
And left me without even the memory of you

I asked him how he dealt
with his father-loss
babbling the words out
in all my anxious longing.

"I know, Son,"
his voice came
from across the world
like a Father's always does.

"That tightness
in the chest...
Yes,
I know."

I had never felt closer
to another man.

I had never felt more
like his son.

I had never felt
more understood.

Am I awake?
Alive, but unsung
Ego under
Self-fandom dead
No one in worship
Alone in the bed
Cold as a single in
the bed that we've made.

This wasn't supposed to be
about you,
but you have completely
overrun me defenses,
invaded every peaceful
part of my being.

And I've been sleep walking
through our love
only to find
I was never restrained.

I can hardly remember your voice
I can hardly remember your face
I can hardly remember your smell
I can hardly remember your touch

I look forward to joining you.

And so I write here
so as not to disturb.
What can I say?
All I am is words.

I wanted you to take me out on a date,
but you said you're too busy,
romanticizing your sadness.
I guess you need that sorrow
to write your music,
just like I needed my heart broken
by you
to write my poetry.