Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Flies digest my dead thoughts as larva is left
to again once feed on the thoughts that weren't
totally digested and reverberating inside my skull.

My attention is waning and not as coherent as
it once was. I just hear an inherent murmur of
what died slowly digested within my scalp.

Why are my memories of before only faded
repetitions of what was fed upon before.
My mind is so dark with fluttering wings.

*"My mind has died and only the flies pick at my thoughts,
I thought he liked me, saying all the
right words into my ears. how was I
to know this was but a rehearsal what
he had acted out so many times.

"You know your my first,
"Your special to me, your the star shining on my life.

I feel for every serpents lie that slithered
from his mouth on to my lips as we kissed.
He was like soft velvet on my soul, he knew
where to hold me, I quivered under each caress.

I was hypnotized by those words that i thought
were only captured in the pools of my eyes.
Later to find out that so many had drowned in
depression from those stones he thrown so many times.

I released my innocence, my virtue to the weavings
of spoken gestures of moonlit drives. Now I stare in to
the night sky, only seeing the darkness.  He quenched
the light when that night was over they were extinguished.

The night was amazing in my mind so gentle, i was
scared of what would be after. Be he reassured me I
was the only one. I admit gullibility that he wove in
to my mind heart and soul, it was over and I was woman.

I could still smell him on my sheets, and I slept content.
Or so i thought, where I had released myself to him when
I walked the halls of college I was an apparition of no
solid worth. I spoke to him, smiles and all.

He ignored me, I asked why? "You were weak, last week,
I learnt he always tried to fulfil this gesture on a Sunday.
In tears as all around either giggled in disrespect,
others were just opened mouth and whispers spread.

I had a few of his trophies, he called us that.
They came up to me bruises barley visible but were seen.
Each a weekend of serpents words, tears were each
wiped on soft tissues as his misdeeds bleed.

But one who was of lower as esteem as most of us,
born of an affliction that she had since birth.
She was the strongest of us all, and she wove a
tale of a conquest that was his inevitable last.

She was woven into his lies, but he never listened to
her truths, moments became blurred and what was
kept for a reason of thought and of others safety
was given away on serpents lingering breath.

But once she had faded from his thought after
just one night, she had spoken to him in word
and he didn't listen to her warning of word.

Others had heard her mentioning of what he
had thought was his score, but friends of others
has spelled out what he had done, and he cried.

Karma has a way of weaving its ways to help
those of its need. He had tainted the wrong
girl no fault of his silken woven words....

He now is sullen and looked upon with frown,
for he stamped so many with his words.
But now all others see is the words of ***.....
Looking back I can see, how it all must have looked from your eyes.
The true nature of my actions, my words and my lies.
I admit there was something wrong in my mind
And it's only now I can see all the signs.
I broke myself for you, I made myself small,
I tried to be what you wanted, I gave you my all.

But it didn't matter what I did, what you wanted wasn't me,
I should have given up, and set myself free
But instead I kept smiling, "I'm fine" I lied.
I don't hold it against you, how you cast me aside,
But you see, when I finally gave up hope,
Life overwhelmed me and I could not cope.

I shut myself in, and everything out,
left alone with my mind, self-pity and doubt.
Like rot in my brain and decay in my heart,
It ate away at my passion, and my strength fell apart.
Forgive me if I blamed you, it wasn't your fault,
But I was bitter and tired, and blame is my default.

Then came guilt, a tsunami of shame,
When I realized that I was the one to blame.
In my selfish need I had broken our connection,
Wanting more than I deserved of intimacy and affection.
And here I stand, without you by my side,
With a broken heart and wounded pride.
I don't know how to explain the bizarre reality
That you went from being the person I spoke to
Everyday for years
To now,
A dead silence ringing in my ears
 Nov 2016 Poetic Thoughts
Sarah
Where there is a
dream, living in
settled glass,
(the kind you find in an
abbey
in an alley of
sinners & saints)
    where there is always a small
bird with her
"I trust you" wings in a
nest where she rests
assured

among chorales and
readings and phrases as
  inevitable as forget-me-nots-
where red meets blue
with the welding of
gold
and prayers are a
hatchlings
   lullaby

I've heard of people
praying
   for
everything,
but not even
    birds
      answering
       their
            cry.
Next page