Everything is always, always
Life or death for me.
Which is why being here is so hard.
I am in my head
I stay in my head.
                           I can't get out of here.
My faith falls short when my control does.
I have so much trouble
I incur so much turmoil in surprise.
I hate this.
I wish I were able to treat the lows and the highs with the same grace...
But, grace has no place here.
I am obsessive
I am crazy
          Crazy happy
             Crazy depressed
Very anxious
Ready to run
Never sit down
Time to let go
Keep moving
Never stopping
Can't breathe
Too smothered
Gotta go
Gotta leave
Time to run... Again.

Peace now.
Settled mind,
Time to come back.
Things to do
...again.
People to see
Places to go
Life to live
Body to inhibit
Smiles to give
Things to do.
Be here,
Be here now,
Try Tiara try.
Be here,
Be here now,
Try Tiara try.
...but I can't,
Gotta move,
Trying to stop thinking,
Don't want to get too anxious
Don't want to get too scared.

But, I am tired now...
I am ready now
To sit still
Stand tall
And feel something.

I am scared that I am going to become the runaway girl.
Close enough to touch but, not here long enough to hold on to.
I’m scared that I won’t be able to sit still for steady hands.
Its like coffee and cigarettes
Why take in chaos when you will always need the calm?
I need both
The calm the chaos
The real the fantasy.
I am scared that I will get normal and it won’t be enough for me,
That I will get every silver lining I’ve ever wanted and it still won’t be enough
I’ll always want more
I’ll always want the sun, the moon, the stars, the forest…
Nature is so much more beautiful than anything man made
Maybe that’s why man scares me…
They empty beautiful things
And tarnish gold.
But, I want to be touched by a man
Who sees the Queen in me
The chocolate
The Gold
And loves the stutter in my nervous
The weird in my beautiful
The good in my crazy.
I one day, want this
But I don’t know how to share me
Keep me
Love him
Not run
Not run
Stop running
From a man…
Because,
I’m Cinderella at 12 am
Hoping that he doesn't discover I’m not beautiful.

let it not be confused
let no one else's name
ring throughout these sentences
let this be a hatchet
let me put this to rest
this is not a test
i don't want to think
about shipwrecks anymore
i am tired of folding apologies
into origami birds
and placing them
at the headstones to your tantrums
this is not is not geology class
these are promises
written on razorblades
      & if you are getting choked up
        then maybe you should be
maybe we should be buried
with our telescopes face down
my mouth is full of sorry
all for being honest
we are falling out of orbit
we are burning bystanders
so cast away your callous condolences
because no one is clapping
in this waist deep water
this is not a baptism
so do not tell strangers
that this was a chance to drown
any differently
i am not a catalogue
of constellations you cannot name
this is not mythology
so stop believing your horoscope
i am not a wishing well
i am just a wall for you
to paint post nuclear fallout & antonyms for catharsis on
we destroy the things
that are not ours-
the wanton ways
we embody wrecking *****
and then cry over the rubble
this is not a heap or a mosaic
this is leaping
off a thousand story building
with no one to catch you
at the bottom & maybe
that's why some quiet moments
are so fragile, maybe that's why butterflies have mimicry
your words are black powder
and poetry is your musketry
i guess that makes me your blindfold

I am your safe word
Say it however silent you need to
I am your calm when unsteady hands shake
We are too torn for the light we are trying to ignite in each other
I fancy your beautiful
I will soothe the trembles in your mind even when she is standing next to you
She can't see you
Stop trying to show her the broken bits that I have crafted for my silver lining
I see your scars
And I am trying to embody to you what it is they mean to me
I love you
It came, it came out
Like waterfalls, like rainstorms, like hearts leaking not yet ready for touch
You're fragile
And I love you
I am not sorry
I will never be sorry
I love you
I am where you are free, this here is your truth
And you are trying to run away from me
I am not scared of your light
You are made, crafted, pieced together from remnants of the sun
I did not mean to fly so close to you
I am not trying to end as Icarus does
I am not willing to let us ruin me.

I want to tell you that the shore comes back for the sea like I will always come back for you
That the moon comes after the sun to ensure just enough beauty that your eyes can tolerate it
You are beauty rapped in man.
And my mind can’t stay off you.
And I want to tell you so many things
So many things so that you see you are loved
I would give you all of me if you would take me but you haven’t
It as if I am a path less taken and far too overlooked .
But, I’d forget all that if only you’d look at me.
Why won’t you look at me
I want you to look at me like you do the stars at night
And I want you to see what I’m trying to show you
I want you feel what I’m trying to give you
I want to give you my love and pour it over your wounds so that you feel what it is I see with you
I want your eyes to see what heart feels
What I’m too scared to voice
But I’d do it if I were close to losing you
And I feel as though you are trying to be a noble man and love the earth by withdrawing you
But please don’t leave.
Stop right here and look at me
I have taken your scars for you
I have given you some medicine to fix the indents careless people have made
And I’m standing here naked for you
Giving you all of me.

I want to hold your arms
Warm and breathe life into them
They are so strong and easy to let myself go in
I want to grant your back the grace to stand up tall and feel no pain in planting your feet in the ground
I want to kiss your hands
As you do mine
You don’t understand the life you put back into them when you do.
I want to warm your heart
Enough so that I can be the person you calm yourself for
I want to be your calm
Your crazy
Your beautiful
I want to be stable, insatiable ground for you
I want to reflect nature for you,
Something beautiful that outshines anything man made.
I want to reflect the consistency of the moon
The illumination of the sun
The sweetness in planting feet to soil
Body in ocean
I want to be what beaches are to northerners, to you
I want to be who you kiss Sunday morning
Who you want to come home to Friday night
I want to be your whiskey
I want to be a part of why you feel blessed
I want you… to be able to see me in my true essence
And I want you to know what your compliment,
Your genuine appreciation and respect means to me.
I want to do what hearts do, with you
I want to do what bodies come together for, with you.
I want to appreciate every muscle, every vein
From top to bottom and push you into ecstasies of pure bliss
As we will fall into exhaustion
Only to wake and create a scene all over again .
I want to be here, someday with you
I want to watch you leave out for work
And know that this is the home you will always come back to
I want to create different ways to mimic hearts with you
I want to blaze the trail to greatness with you
I will celebrate you
I do celebrate you
I see “we” in your eyes
And I feel the distance we put behind us when you hug me.
You match my need to keep moving
I want to bind “unlimited”, to your success
And passion to everything you do.
I want us to be wonders in our separation
And a force not to be countered in our together
I want to believe in “forever’s” with you.
I’d love… for the first time with you
I promise I would…
I’d bind myself to moving forward with you
Next to you
And forever do things just to catch the sun you have caught between your teeth
And the glimmer of the moon you have sprinkled in your deep chocolate eyes
I’d like to be bold enough to tell you what I could be
For you
With you
Behind you
Next to you
But, I am a flourish of nerves wrapped up in a facade of confidence
Trying to mimic the sea
Peaking back to see if you have caught a glimpse of my beautiful.

-Indigo Morrison

I am a Hurricane Girl
I come in waves
Passion or depression
Kissing you or disappearing from everything
I am obsessive with my passions
Anxious when sitting still
I move
Move forward
Move away
Never looking back
I might forget to take you with me
So stay
Stay with me here
Take in all I have to give
And remember the good
When I create storms
Give me peace in chaos
I love the rain
The seas it creates
The ruins that become of it
I am sorry
Broken shouldn't be beautiful
But, I wish you'd make an exception for me.