I weaved my web
Around your existence
Loose threads
Ripping tidy fringes
My tired arms
Shaking the fragile net
All futile gestures
obscured perceptions

My very own words
I prayed & entreated
"Don't leave me, my love"

Yet again & again

I pointed blunt knives
At our chests
Leaving a trail of pain
In my wake

Like soldiers unrecovered
Rushing back in
Pushing both to our limits
Breaking our necks

Our battlefields forever alive
Restless as children
Drowning in compunction
An unending dirge

You set are me up for failure
You made me cry in bed.
You pushed my buttons further
Deep into my head

The cause of all this binges
Purging till I bled.
You've hurt me way deeper
Than I've ever slept.

Now I'd become a *****
Flawed broken and bad.
Like those broken hinges
We couldn't quite put back.

I'll crawl under the covers
When alone and scared.
Now I've seen the monster
Living inside my head.

The first day is harsh
I haven't found my way out of the marsh
to the ocean
The sand covers my feet now 
Yet I'm alone.
I remember none that has happened
sleeping painfully
All those emotions I believed
Now where am I? 
I'm stranded, alone
Days turn to weeks, months to years
How long have I been
Am I even alive?
If this is my punishment
What is my fate
My blood was red
Now it turns blue.
I was happy
When I thought of you
I barely remember a face
A smell, a touch.
I miss my family, I miss my face
I can't see them
they think I've vanished without a trace...

It wasn't you I wanted beside me,
It wasn't anyone in particular.
It wasn't anyone at all
It was the feeling of love,
Of being loved and taken care of.
This feeling is what I wanted,
To pin down and fall asleep
With its legs slung across me.
This longing has become need,
The need to feel any form of love
In ****** comfort and this security.
The need makes me stupid.

Words were all but words
What you never said;
What you said to me
Curses under your breathe.

I opened up my heart
You tore it apart;
Said I lived in fantasies
Bound to turn to dust.

I would fall to the deep end
You wouldn't even help;
Screamed till I was spent
And you just laughed aloud.

I've wandered,
The streets.

In my own,
Bubble
I've walked till
I'm spent

I've scaled,
Mountians
None believed,
Nor saw

I smile and lie,
They think
It's all true,
This show

I want to go,
Back home
And stay there,
Alone

In a place,
Where isn't one.