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i want to buy these mice a home so
that their presence helps keep the table clear
i think i’ll place it in the gap between the door and the floor
in the hopes of keeping the noise out and
of having at least one of us feel
a sense of being welcome

the paper bags in my hands wouldn’t feel
heavy if they knew where they were going maybe
and hitting my head against the bed again doesn’t stop me from
showing off the letters on my chest although
i’ve been known to miss the mark

if there's a spark in her eyes it’s 'cause she stole the light from mine
but i like the cold because it makes me feel alive

my favorite part comes around
when the two trains meet and for a second
i can catch a glimpse of everyone’s place in the world
before we’re whisked away to
our respective loneliness

or maybe it’s where the streets
run narrow like those in the places where
connection, if anything, tastes a bit more genuine
it's quite polarizing but this time i’ll seek
comfort in the grey of it until it
all comes rushing back

they say home is where the heart is so this probably still isn’t it
but it will do for now

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[new york city] | [definition of home] | [pursuit of cold]
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2021
I am stuck in the same place
At the same pace
What's wearing thin is my patience
I don't have any time to stay complaisant
I need to find my placement
Put myself first, not in the basement
Some may not know what it meant
I however hold no sentiments
This is what I have to deal with
No one actually making things better for me
Instead I bleed
My marrow creating blood just abundantly
Just to keep the stream from weening
Disallowing the life in me to die out
I hate being disabled. But I'm getting help.
Chalsey Wilder Aug 2020
I don't know why
Can't even begin to understand
When I know you're about to kiss me like you want to taste and lick my soul
I don't bother to pull back
Never wanting you to stop
Never wanting you to end
Your smell, vibe, taste, sensation
Strumming on me
Making your favorite notes play your favorite tune
Fully clothed yet vulnerablely ****
Yearning for our bodies to match
Undoing my button brought me back to rational thought
We must stop
You must stop trying to **** me out of my commitments
My commitment to my heart
My mind
My soul
To starve the flesh
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2019
I lost it
I lost my poem mojo
Thoughts piled higher than an air balloon shaped like a kite
I'm scrawling all over the page
Just to say what is near the tip of my tongue
But...Air
And only air is escaping my tongue's grasp
So the page ends up balled up
Spread into a crumble onto the floor
My day rinses and repeats
With my sprawlings traveling to the door
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2018
It is far too easy to become as nasty and as evil as our counterparts when they have treated you that way far too long
And it worsens,
As they deny the aftermath of this treatment to you
It's passed down,
Turmoil building turmoil, rolling it up to start the base of a snowman
It causes the destruction of our hearts, distorts our minds, to casually gloss over our eyes
The consequence?
Every generation is weaker than the last
*They think they're unpredictable and rambunctious, but they don't realize,
That this is controlled too
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2018
In order to be strong, you have to be weak
One does not exist without the other
In order to stay strong
You must have memerance of your weakness
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2018
I give you a grain of rock
And I tell you of the highest mountain, containing liquid gold at the entrance of the very tip
But you, throwing the grain in my eye
Choose not to believe me
Instead you choose to spew out the nastiness of your disbelief
Even after bluntly letting you know to do research
"I'm not gonna do any ******* research"
Well dear, stay blind,
I hope you fall on a cactus *** first
Bet that will open your eyes
This is a metaphor. Keep your mouth shut if you don't know what you're talking about.
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