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Apr 2014 · 1.2k
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
Céline Apr 2014
Today marks a year since the world I knew changed.
Today marks a year since I trusted you last.
Today marks a year since I felt like a whole person.

I wish I could say a lot has chagned since a year ago, today. But I can only say that I'm alone more often. I can only say I still have dreams at night about you, about us. I can only really say that this year has been the worst without you by my side.

Today marks a year since you grabbed all your stuff.
Today marks a year since you walked out of that door.
Today marks a year since I ran after you saying "I always come back."

Today marks a year since you walked out of that door.
                                    since you walked out of my life.
And.
Today marks another year that you won't wish me a happy birthday.
So, happy birthday to me..
This is the last poem that I'll be writing about this person.
My birthday is April 10th.
These events happened on my 16th birthday..April 14th, 2013.

And you ask why I hate birthdays?
Mar 2014 · 1.3k
That moment
Céline Mar 2014
when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart.
when you feel that pain rushing down to your stomach, making you *****, ***** out the broken peices..
when you've purged yourself of all feeling, and you feel your body slowly start to become numb.
Why
Feb 2014 · 281
Sometimes
Céline Feb 2014
I want to ask you if you remember the first time we kissed
or the way you looked at me and how
you said I tasted like coffee and we were sitting there
under the galaxy, just us..

Sometimes I do.
Céline Jan 2014
There are no refunds,
   There are no exchanges, and
         There are no returns when it comes to love.
Jan 2014 · 992
you're still here.. why?
Céline Jan 2014
You're still here
I see your Grand Cherokee parked in my driveway
You're still here
I see you walking back up to my front door
You're still here
Helping me set up my new PlayStation downstairs
(The one you helped convince me to buy)
You're still here
Sitting on my bed, with me
You're still here
...why?

You're still here
Taking my hand as we walk into the store
You're still here
Picking me up to go on an adventure
You're still here
Introducing me to your sister
(You look like her)
You're still here
Kissing me with your eyes closed
(I couldn't help but look)
You're still here
...why?

You're still here
Insulting me, yelling at me
You're still here
Hurting my already damaged wrist
You're still here
Throwing cake in my hair, on my birthday
(Laughing oh so hard about it)
You're still here
Your engine is starting on the street
You're still here
Months late, apologizing
You're still here
...why?

You're still here
Hurting me
You're still here
Teaching me that maybe I shouldn't love,
at least not with my whole heart
You're still here
...why?
Céline Jan 2014
empty house and a damaged soul.
I can't stop thinking.

If I had been looking through
the window (as I am now)
seeing myself there (as I imagine now)
standing on my porch awaiting
his embrace

would I have stopped myself?
Jan 2014 · 642
Tired.
Céline Jan 2014
Tired of winter.
Tired of the snow.
Tired of being in pain.
Tired of people around me.
Tired of going to bed too late.
Tired of having to get up so early.
Tired of not dancing and doing what I love.
Tired of failing, being late to school.
Tired of not having good friends.
Tired of all this homework.
Tired of not doing it.
Tired of school.
Tired of you.

I wanted to write a poem.
But I wrote this instead.
I decided it didn’t matter that I couldn’t rhyme things.
And that I should just write whatever comes to mind.
I know there isn’t a single person I want to be with.
But I also know it’s you.

I understand that I’m just a paragraph in your life.

But what you don’t understand,
what you don’t realize
is how many chapters there are
of you

in mine.
Jan. 2013

— The End —