To the woman in the elevator who told me my Bear was a "keeper",
I thought so too.
I wished to keep him forever and ever and I thought that just maybe he wanted to keep me.
But he didn't. He doesn't.
That was the last time I would ever see him.
Our last rendezvous was in that very elevator.
He whispered so tenderly into my ear that he loved me between kisses and I did the very same.
Nine days ago that was.
Today my number is blocked on his phone for begging him not to leave me.
I am afraid to tell my friends because they'll call me a ***** and a **** (jokingly, they swear) for having lost yet another love.
He was however my first love.
His predecessors had simply been mislabeled.
And that was why, at 9:56 last night when he told me he was breaking up with me after reassuring me that he loved me "dearly" when I questioned his distance just earlier that morning, I couldn't breathe.
He didn't ask me to say anything, maybe because he didn't care, maybe because he knew my ever present words had failed me.
Almost like he did.
I sobbed for five continuous hours.
I texted boys who called me "a crazy *****", who told me they hated me.
Yet he broke up with me because he feared I deserved more, when in fact I wanted nothing more than him.
And just minutes before I asked him to be my premature valentine, to which his response was crushing me, making my rounded edges turn concave.
And so, to the dear woman in the elevator, I am still going to believe he was a keeper until I am strong enough to let strings of curses fly.
Thank you for stoking my dreams into a full blazing fire from a low crackling burn.
I hope that soon I will find myself able to extinguish the raging fluttering embers completely.
Sincerely,
His "manic pixie dream girl"

Please.
Pleading.
Promising.
Pain.
******.

Painting a broken picture
on shattered glass
Playing games
with a fragile heart
broken yet, promised more
Picnicking alone in the dark
Pushed off a platform with rough paws
Passionate sins
picked up a pen,
and told the world what she says

***** tastes better than the thought of you and her

A male with no issues.
A compatiable connection.
Who knows how to show respect & affection.
Who has a memorable recolition of the night before.
Who don't treat me like a one night stand *****.
Dripping wet from the shower.
Cleanliness that lasts for hours.
I like to lounge in the bath.
If I had a lover we could do it together,
only if they promise not to laugh.
He should be strong enough to carry me i weigh more than a feather.
A man with his own bedroom & place.
An address I would like to trace.
A warm trusting embrace kissing my face.
A man with independence.
With no alcohol or drug dependence.
With charm & romance.
A man who can slow dance.

: Author Notes

Fictional day dreams.

© Harmony Sapphire . All rights reserved,

when the weather changes
so do the people.
in spring
people are bright
and fresh
and sweet.
in summer
people are warm
and humble
and memorable.
in fall
people are colorful
and changing
and fleeting.
oh but winter
people are cold
and icy
and lonely.
i cannot wait for winter to end
inside me
and inside you.

Let's skip the
all-happy all-
the-time facade
I want to meet you
when one of us
is crying
and the other one
is high
Instead of
******* rainbows,
let's tell each other
stories
about those
we've left behind
And when
I make love
to you,
you'll know
what it means
to be known,
and I'll know
what it means
to be home

Sometimes you are the moon
Your spirits soar
and you shine so brightly
you drown the world
in your light.
Sometimes you feel beautiful
like nothing can hurt you.
You are suddenly in control
of the nightly push and pull
within you.
For once you are above
the sorrow and pain.

Sometimes you are the wolf
You feel vicious,
Cursed, and angry.
You are fighting
with every ounce
of your being
for power, for survival.
You hurt someone,
someone you loved,
maybe they stepped out of line,
or maybe they made a mistake,
You lost control,
gave in to your instincts.
Sometimes you are so low,
you lash out,
throw back your head
and howl in agony.

When you are the moon
when you are sailing above the clouds
you can almost forget
the pain of being the wolf,
the pain of being so low.
When you are the wolf,
when you are lower
than you have ever been,
You think only of being
someone,
anyone,
other than yourself.

*******
And your ******* great ***
And your ******* great life
And your ******* great social skills
And your ******* boy toys
And your ******* silky hair
*******