she ignores me still,
the wonderous girl
who stole my heart.
she said...
she would love me forever,
no matter what.

she lied.

I am living proof,
that lies are believable
for I believed...
in her...
and in us.

she failed me,
and let me down,
when i needed her the most.
******* i needed her!

do not believe
that love is beautiful...
for it is false,
and indifferent,
and malignant.

i believed,
and look at me now...
telling all of this to you
strangers,
who don't care.

she lied, and i suffer.
she betrayed our promise,
and that is...
unforgivable.

need i say more?

I stood in the sunshine and saw darkness everywhere.
All that could have been.
have you paid a heavy toll?
have you given it your all?
Are you unforgiven?
And all that could have been

Just wanted to make her proud
now i am an empty shell
left discarded
somewhere along the way, she left me feeling dead
And all that could have been

somewhere...
out the window, and across the valley
she runs free
farewell darling...
this is my final goodbye...

blood spilled
battles won
enemies vanquished
with you by my side
all was possible
but now...
you have been turned
corrupted
polluted
soiled
i did not believe
you could be so swayed
by lies and empty promises
is that what you wanted?
because thats all you have now
i hope it keeps you warm at night
because i won't
for you are not worthy
of even a shred of my love
you have made your bed
now live with it
you are not welcome here
anymore

all i have to give
is myself
as i am
wherever you are
know that i'm near
you will feel me
inside you
pulsing
breathing
desiring
without limits
and without boundaries

whenever you're alone
think of me
and i'll know it
as i have always known it
i am inside you
heart mind and soul
you belong to me now

i will not stumble

i will never get lost

i will be your guide

you are mine
and i am yours
now and forever
and everlasting

there was a time
when i climbed mountains
and now
am i afraid of heights?
there was a time
when blood flowed warm
and now
i shiver
not from aloft
but a maelstrom
of exhaustion
i thought i was strong
but i will crawl
i now live
on pure faith and belief
yet, i've never had faith
nourishment and sleep
elude me
my body must lack
in hope of the soul
i thought i was falling
and i cried out eternal
and a tiny hand
gave me strength
my body grows weak
my heart still beats
my eyes grow weary
to give all to sanity
i am pretending
to be so strong
when all i want
is to know
that someday
i will be whole
again

light mist and heavy clouds
it is fog that guides my way
rivers and mountains will remain
long after i am forgotten
for i erode too
sheltered in my quiet place
i think of myself
growing older, but more aware
i have done so much
i have done so little
i would give it all
to re-live one day
with you
late now, and night is deep and still
i think myself foolish
for even believing
you've taken notice
can you see through the fog?
am i left here to stumble?
blindly?
if that is my fate
i will not wear it well
i will erode
with the other forgotten
and dream of the time
when i was alive