Drinking after you
My favorite
So yummy
I like to lick
The spit
from your tongue
And the ***
From deep inside you
Where I want to be
So yummy

You tear my heart in two
I tear yours too
Seventeen

As I age
I do not see
excitement in front of me
I see a place
where I play a role
and try to make the most
for the ones I owe the role
I do not see
anything more I will try to be
Falling into complacency
happened slowly but here I am

We pass around orajel and visine
Manzanas y tangerines
We marvel at red white and green
Hugs are kisses and kisses should be seen
Turning around cookies
so thin
A revolucíon of what could have been
Of girls saying don’t look
And boys saying read books
And the result is being booked and taken back to the truck

When the sun sets
And the curtains are closed
When the table is set
And expressions froze
I think of you
And your absence
You and your careless attitude
What more can I do
**** **** **** and lose the only leverage I have over you
Ignore you and watch you not notice
Regretting leaving myself open
With each minute is a jab
With each jab, a stab
And the blood looks a lot like tears

Mix and Match
Toss and Throw
I should've skipped the interview
and talked with you
and listened too
until my times was done and through

In love again
I don’t even know if you’re being honest
In love again
And you seem a little withdrawn
And then you seem a little too enthralled
I can’t anyway
I have to remind myself
But the attention feels nice after life on a shelf
In love again
Or lust
Can’t trust
My emotions
In love again I think because my heart skips beats
when you’re next to me
and my name sounds like a kiss from your lips
Even though your hands seem sort of odd
Every though you’re hair doesn’t fall where it ought
A stretch
A stretch
A stretch
I hope Im not in love again
Especially with you

no you see it was totally not like that
you see you see you see
white girl answers clean and clear and crisp and full of syllables
Who is it you like?
i cant say
but you can tell me
ok but if i tell you you cant say
I won't say
ok
you see you see you see
its this one girl
it's not me?
well like you see you see you see

I have my own dance
No one can compete with
Not once
It’s a style of its own
A clap and a stomp and a twirl
So many twirls
Makes you want to clap along
Makes your heart beat in rhythm
Watch me dance a dance you’ll never dance
Watch me bleed from my toes and knees and heart
The drip drip drip keeps rhythm better than that heart
And I hope you watch with the same envy that caused me to be lonely
I hope you wear the same evil eye badge that I wear on the soles of my shoes
Stomping and clapping and twirling

Bait and switch
I guess I was
A disappointment dressed in clothes
A twist of the knife deep inside
My legs spread
On your desk
A **** for sure
You’re impressed
A thong too much for your catholic veins
Throbbing but not enough
Chains on my ankles
Bleach in my hair
You don’t love me now
But all is fair

I keep forgetting your name
I remember it when you ask
I’m good at hiding my shame
It helps reliving my past

Water fountain
Electric pulse
Wichita mountain
Diabolicals

Rubber snakes
Glasses hid
Heart breaks
Baby slid

Aggressive
Like the door I can't shut
Like the call I can't take
Like the money he pays
Like the way he talks
Like his stare
Like the kiss I can't stop

I feel you on high
I see you in tides
I want you forever
You kindly decline
I need you right here
You don't seem to care
I helped you to climb
The cliff helped me slide
I still think of you
Each day that we're through
You don't seem to know
Where all that I go
I need you so
You're
All I want
You're all my thoughts
You're all I am

She doesn’t know that she is the best parts
She doesn’t know what perfect means
A heart of gold and a red temper

Have a little dignity
Or weep a little song
Of failure
As I sink into morbidity
Inject me full of hope
While I find a **** to ****
I could be mute
As long as I let you in my thighs

Creepy crawly
Seashell lover
Beads around a wrist no longer
Bones that crunch and hair that twists
Six feet under a sordid mix
A sun that shines on quiet days
Morning brings a foggy haze
And you don’t come out on Sundays
and can you feel the quiet
And can you smell the earth
And do you hear the silence
Do you still feel the hurt?

Rope bracelets
Carniceria
Salón
Si ****
Si quemah cuh
Agua Fresca
Gooooaaaallllll
My home
Thank you

Touch
The top
Of my hand
As I sliiide into you
And you collapse onto me
As I bounce into your chest
Your lips starting to embark on my neck
And When I feel the wetness of the wave
I know it’s time to embank
Receding again
The reflection on the sea
Reminding me
we can only be friends

I just wish
I didn't spin
in circles
I just wish
I wasn't so dumb
Fall into your arms
Spread my legs
I just wish
I didn't get wet
every time I hear your
Name

Bobbing
In the dark
Ocean at night
Heavy weight
Eye shine
Bouncy wave
Nighttime

I loved you like a shoe loves a roach
I loved you like dirt loves water and soap
I loved you like gum on my shoe or the bottom of my jeans scraping the pavement
I loved you like a fly loves the cold
Like the youth love getting old
I loved you most went you were gone

I saw the ball fly over fast
I was brave
A hero at last
And on the stool I stood
Peaking over the wall of wood
When you a dog of 2 feet tall and 42 teeth
Began to call
I jumped down
And slid away
Slithering slitherly as I pray
As not to wake it’s owner

Beat me
Like it's Christmas Eve
And my bra is showing
Beat me
Because I don't listen
Give me a black eye
for my charm bracelet
Beat me
Twist my hair
Twist my neck
Tell me I'm nothing
Until my bones break

Tongue Mouth- Swish Swash
Tongue Twister- Tongue in Cheek Smile
Time is Coming Up
Take a Step Back
Here's the Rush
Head Starts to Swirl and Collapse-
Cold Beneath- Sticky Grains of Encompassing Cool Fresh-
Up Again- Heavy Head- Can i Hit Again-
Yes- Always and Free
Sheets so Cold and Hard
Bed so Hard
ceiling stark white
Already In
Always- Just a Friend
Body like Lungs- Detached from my Head
Ice Blue Eyes
And... Over
Time is up
Clarity Waits Outside the Door

Trying to sleep 16 hours a day
Is hard when your mind is hooked on decay
Walking all day back and forth in a hall
Hurts a little bit when the tile starts to crawl
You can't feel when you're starting to sleep but everytime I do my nose starts to bleed
Wish I was with somebody knew but I can't get you to let go of this noose
Would be nice if I could have the other guy
But I'm at a different place in my life
And he's in a situation just trying to survive
And everytime we talk I have to justify
Why it's all okay and it's not that wrong ok now goodnight

Bouncing on a lava lake
Stretchy rubber never breaks
Burning burning twisting pain
Acid slimey mucous lake

Nicotine walls
Tarot cards on your desk
Cigarettes in a row
Whiskey on your breath
You just don't feel love
You're waiting for death
All the hair you cut off
To put in your spells
Is catching up to you
Now that you're in hell
And all the bruises you gave
We're given to you first
By man after man and woman since birth
It's a shame and it's sad
Of what came to be
Egg shells on your floor would break if you'd breathe
And I know it's hard to live in such tension
And the road that leads to hell is paved with good intentions

Thank you
For always
Noticing
I'm bipolar
Especially in the middle of fights
Or when I'm hurt
Or when I have a problem
It's the absolute greatest thing to hear
You're just bipolar
Anytime I feel emotional
Because it's an inconvenience and interruption to your constant one man parade
I never bring it up
It's an embarrassment
The only thing I inherited from my dad's side.
I am an heir to the need to constantly ****, forget to eat, and ruin every relationship that comes around.
But there are some good things too
But you don't see those
Because you're marching down the street twirling a baton in front of your herd of elephants
Oh how many times
Have i heard
You say
You cant listen to me
Or focus on me
Because you have
ADD

I get Bored quick
Bored quick
And quicker as I get older
I get sick quick
Sick of small talk and dead ends
Sick of handshake. Smile. Pretend
I can’t stick with it
I can’t stick
I get bored quick

I’m so
Stuck
In you
On you
To you
I’m so beneath you
And
Between you
I can’t say no
Or yes
I just let you
take me in
And
Out
And up
And down
Underneath you

What good is pretty when you're trapped in a box
The earth starts shaking and your nails keep growing
They're always watching you twist and throw up
The bed is always white and there's nicotine yellow walls
I used to think about you when I was laying in the floor
I thought that maybe rain would fall and the lock would fall off the door

Your eyes bright
Twist my side
I have nothing to say to you
Inhale
Inhale
I love you too

You
Broke
The heart I gave to you
Shamelessly

Do you miss it?
You shouldn't
It's hectic
And wrong
It's an all day long
Thing
It's a
Don't say anything
Kind of thing
But do you miss it?
Do you miss sneaking out
And coming to me
And me talking to you
You almost ******* on me
Do you remember the way
That I'd stare at you
You're beautiful Alex
**** what they do
You say you don't miss it
But I kind of do
I miss sneaking around and waiting on you
I miss touching your hand and holding your shoe
I miss feeling around
I miss the feeling of new
And I don't know anymore
I don't know what to do
Because I miss it so much
And I'm still missing you

I see my hand in the sand
Reaching for a bottle to break over your head
Have you ever met a soul so detached and ungrateful
You say I entangle my words tight enough to choke you
If that's true, please choke and swallow
I have bruises all over my soul and they tick and they tock and they manifest when you talk
Ans I'm so tired of saying sorry

Caro doesn’t know
Ale from Alej
Or an oven from a stove
She knows her hair is long
And straight
And she loves to watch it grow
She doesn’t know
Her smile
On everything
Is the best
I’ve ever seen

And Cabeza De Vaca outlived 600 men
Ate horse for survival
In hurricanes, he swam
But I can't
and I can't
and Cabeza De Vaca
Never commanded respect
he simply lived and did what he did
while he was the last to stand
But I can't
I can't

Chains on my neck
This isn't what I expected
Fruit at my feet
And I have to pick it
The days that have passed
The hands on the clock
Don't tick for me any longer

So much change
In my heart
In my day
So happy
With you gone
Is that wrong to say

Trying to be good all the time
To not shine in your eyes
To stop before I cry
And think for you

Wanting
Something so much more
My heart won’t be ignored
I can’t believe I stopped and went for you

I ate a box of cherries
Swallowed them
One by one
Dizzy with envy
I’m finished, we’re done

Hop scotch
Drip watch
Have you
Called the boss
Have you
Walked along
Along the road
Along the pier
Can you take me far from here

I
Can't
Find
My
Keys
She said so slowly
As she crumbled
Down the
Staircase
While
We stared
At her

I can’t dive anymore
Like I once could
Like I should
It feels dry at the core
No heart inside boils like once before
End of the road
I suppose
I was supposed to be
Should have
Could have
Would have
Never to be

It’s the tip tap of the phone screen scrolling
Heart beats and doesn’t stop growing
Gooey sticky
And you just noticed
Excited at the notion
Of you going round with other girls
And then the drip drop
my hearts frozen

Everyone but you and me
I'm tugging at my dignity
I play the part so carefully
So you can't control me
I know everyone calls it flirting
But I call it working
And it's working

I was close
I was really close
Closer than I ever am
On your lap
Kissing you
And being touched in anyway you wanted to
I was close
Almost broken open
Split in two
Doing what you asked me to
Crawling on my knees for you
Begging for you to want me too  
I was close
I was close to you
Needing you more than you ever knew

Every time I look into your eyes
I realize I’m flying too close to the sun

Fine trees of cotton white
On roads made of oil
No dreams grow here
No papers there
Swimming isn't real
I heard you say a name
In your sleep
Up here, trees don't grow
Eyes on mine
Houses shiver when it's cold
I know

In the night the tears wash ashore the salty skin
Lashes casting shadow on a lonely beach
I see you
High above I am
Held up by ***** like you
Does it still feel good to lie to me
A friendship based on my control
And the moonlight shines bright on this beach and the starlight is forevermore
But this delusion you carry isn't fair for me to keep
So I'm here lonely, combing the beach