My family asks why I keep them at a distance
And I tell them
That every time I open my heart
They shroud it in black dust
From the cruelty of their words
Words from good intentions gone wrong
Wrongful actions
Disguised as "I did this for you."
"And I am your mother."
A mother's love
I know is there
Somewhere
But it just breaks my heart
To know
I have found more safety
In the harbor of a stranger's home
Than in my own family's docks

Don't fall in love
Fall off a cliff
It hurts a lot less :)

You asked
What is the scariest part?

I answer
The scariest part
is not the feeling of loneliness
or the darkness that fills you
despite the looming pain
of emptiness

The scariest part
is the realization  
that you have lost yourself
completely
sinking in as you lay awake
at 2 AM
because you lost the ability to sleep
and you can't even cry
because you don't even care

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

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