im so done.
so done.
done.
.

stheyre goingto find me
thosefeelingsi tried to leavebehing but theyy sswoulndt leave me.

theywalk beside me in thesunlgith sheileding their eyes
and in the darktheysmile stroking my hair

sayingyou;re n o t e n o u g h enunciating eachwordhisssssing
whispers

never ever ever enough youcould ne v  e   r be en o ugh
too much at the same timg like please picka ******* feeling

shes an oldfriend thistype oflonliness
i know her well
.

I was never asking you to stay forever—
I was just hoping you’d leave slower,
so my heart could learn how to break in pieces, not all at once...
Utku Can Güzel

to be a teenager is to be in those social media group chats
to be a teenager is to know the hot goss, to know everyone's life
to be a teenager is to gush over boys and giggle when they look at you
to be a teenager is to be reckless, and funny, and happy
it's a social norm
it's known that if you don't do any of that, you're left out

so no, I'm not in the group chat with the funny name
no, i don't know the hot goss on jenny and tyler
no, I don't like any boys — i'm trying to figure out my sexuality
no, i don't like to be reckless, i'm not funny and...
i'm not happy
but maybe being a teenager isn't just that-
maybe it's the quiet, chaotic, messy in-betweens
maybe it's the questions with no answers yet
maybe it's the becoming, not the being
.....right?

The aftermath forever loud
Leaving silence caught in time
Like the introvert hidden in the massive crowd
Suffocating in the expectancy of life
Anger bursting
Nobody gets it
Fury of feeling robbed
Time stolen yet still breathing
The aftermath forever loud
How could one method suffice ?
One theory tested trial after trial
At this point anyone would give up
Knowing the change craved could never appear
Awakening the previous unknown deepest fear
The aftermath forever loud
This mask caught behind the curtain
No one welcomed backstage
No volunteers,  guess they are afraid
The truth is ugly but reality
Seeping near the surface
One mistake the filled cup will flow the wrong way
The aftermath forever loud
Brought a forever nightmare , night and day stands proud.

My scars re-open,
Every time I hear your name,
I wish that they would just heal.

You say you care
You say you love me
But do you really?

What’s my favorite flower?
What’s my favorite color?
What’s my favorite food?

All simple questions you should know
The hesitation when answering them
Proves just how much you know me
You don’t
You have no idea who I am.

What do I wanna do when I graduate?
What college do I wanna go to?
Why isn’t HE in my life anymore?

Harder questions.
You should still know them.
Instantly off the top of your head because…
Because you supposed to love me
Your supposed to care for me
Do you?
I don’t know…

Am I pretty?
Am I smart?
Am I a horrible person?

Questions only you should know.
Questions I don’t even know the answer to
But you do.
Or at least you should.
If you loved me
If you cared about me
You would know…

Get to know me
When you can answer every question I ask
With no hesitation
You will then know me.

All these people around me
They all have their own scars
Their own problem
Their own war
Their own ****

I don’t

My ****
My **** is yours

I don't have my own problems
Yours are mine
Us against the world

I don’t have my own scars
Yours are mine
Sharing is caring, right?

I don't have my own wars
Yours are mine
My ride or die


What's yours is now mine
We're in this together