How much?
How much do you love me?
After weighing my love on the scale of what i do right against what i did wrong,
what was left?
After quantifying the love i gave you the only way i know how to,
is it enough to purchase yours in exchange?
Am i enough,
will my love for you ever be enough?
After weighing the pro's and con's, subtracting my mistakes,
dividing it by the number of material things i own
and adding the money i earn,
does my total match your expectation?
What's the exception?
Will you still love me unconditionally or will you try to match it? 
How much is enough?

Im sorry
I should've but pride got in the way
A deep dark valley of when will you come back to me just standing there,
I couldn't see past it.
I'm sorry
I could've but selfishness got in the way
A mountain of you took me for granted kept growing,
i couldn't feel past it.
I'm sorry.
I would've but fear got in the way.
An effluvium of i deserve more blew,
i couldn't smell past it
I'm sorry
I must've but the crispy icicles of slander slithering out of your mouth severed my palate,
i couldn't taste past it.
I'm sorry
I wanted to,
i want to but the reticence of silence between us was deafening
but
I heard past it.
The nugatory inconsequential words you used to erode my life,
i heard them all.
I've been patient but the allegorical depiction of your interpretation of promise fazes me
I still love you but tell me this
Are all these obstacles worth it?

I went outside
so the rain could wash the tears
off my face,
except it wasn't raining
it was scorching hot
and
it wasn't tears rolling
but a vociferous chortle
of laughter roaring.
It's then i realised that
even when I'm sad
and i want to cry,
I'm happy!

In your mind you hold the power and in your heart are the muscles,
never in your fist!
May you find the courage to change the world with your mind and sustain it with your heart.
May you be as bold as the sun penetrating the depths of darkness and as gentle as it's rays reintroducing themselves to the delicate diadems of dawn.
May you find yourself and stick by you even if it makes the world uncomfortable and never conform to it's idea of acceptable except to God's. May love be your only ally and grace be your shield and armour.
May you never fall in love but walk in with open mind and heart and may you never forget that love is mostly a decisions accompanied by a series of emotions.
When you find her,
love her with heart and mind
and cherish her till rapture,
defend her with all your strength
and protect her with all might.
Above all else my dear son,
love, laugh, live.

Yours in anticipation of you
Your Mother

I could use words to tell you how I'm feeling at this exact moment in time but my hands hold the better expression.
The fumbled rhythm of my heart thumping beneath my ribcage is now my favourite melody, my every reaction is completely controlled by the look on your face.
Your eyes feel intrusive, i can feel them peeling off the facade i like wearing, exposing me.
I like that.
That i am totally naked for you and not ashamed of it.
I could stay here, with you, fully clothed and yet naked.

There is a melody in my heart that my mouth would not dare sing.
My mind,
in constant scrimmage,
tries to wrap itself around this conundrum.
The rhythm propels me to spit rhymes created by my heart lurching beneath my chest
but my tongue is still tied by your name gently caressing my tongue.
Sip, swirl and swallow.
My small eyes battled to stay locked to yours as i envisioned the rest of you,
i couldn't give it away so i turned and left.
Would you know it was you i speak of if you read this?

I got all these emotions
rummaging through my body,
i don't know what they are
but all i know is
i don't want them to stop
so i let myself feel.
I like them
but
the more i like them
the more i want them realised.
I go home
and i put myself in your mind,
an idea i had
to make you feel me
through your mind
except your mind was proverbial
and it was just my mind
in ruse of your mind.
The idea of you thinking of me
in the same capacity as i
cuddled me to sleep
where you came alive,
i could touch you.
I woke up
with my heart thudding
and my blood ravaging my veins
and i realised,
i slept with you on my mind again.