It's fun to have crushes
I had one
2 years ago
We both liked each other
The day we said is now approaching
I am scared
He could have forgotten
I could have changed more than I let on
He's not star crossed
He was heaven on earth

Its been 2 years
We haven't really hung out
But we keep in contact really well
He could have changed, yes
And I could have too
but shouldn't I try once more?
Rekindle an old flame
One that burned brighter than SCL's
That one moved on
Why not go for the dream guy?
SCL and he wasn't that different
Guys who were everything I wanted and more

2 years...
Is that too much?
Is this a hopeless cause
Did I wait too long?
I hope not...
And my partner would understand too
So I invited them.
SCL, my partner, and him
What a disaster.
What a mess.

2 years.
Almost got engaged
Heartache and Joy
Maybe this flame can be rekindled
And if it's not, that is ok.
I will survive...

Beauty is not skin deep, it's more than that. Firstly, a body is a body. You should not fat shame someone for the body they have. While on this point, you should not shame someone for being too skinny. They could have a medical condition that causes their body to look that way for both of these cases. However, everything has beauty but you have to look deeper. Think about who you have a deep connection with. You see their face but what is beautiful about them to you. Their laugh? Their personality? Similar interests? How were they there for you, even when you are at your worst? These are things that are that more. You can't just look at someone with these and say they are beautiful.

Painful experiences teach valuable lessons. Firstly, without some of the things that happened to me, I would not be the person I am today. I wouldn’t be as humbled or able to help others so willingly as I am now. After all, painful days with my trauma and mental illness taught me that life isn’t about the future but the next breath. For some, it can teach them the power of their god or that there isn’t a god in my case. The healing process is where the lessons are learned in my experience.

Books are better than movies. Firstly, I am going to say my first example is one of the most controversial things in this assignment, it's the Harry Potter movies. Like the actors are great and it isn't lacking in that sense, the book is just better. Secondly, The Hunger Games Series is just written so well that the movies couldn't give it glory even if those movies are still really good. After all, this is just my opinion in the end.

Humor makes hard times easier. For me personally, this is how I cope with hard times. I joke about what happened and how I am feeling so it doesn’t feel like its such a heavy weight. In the past, It was what carried me through my depression and anxiety. Yeah, sometimes it was self-deprecating and mean to myself, but it brought light to others in my life and that I was struggling. But now, its my lifeline. It is how I am going on day by day with my use of humor and others humor. It aids myself in healing.

School
It lies to us

Car accident caused death
No, a bullet did people!
HE was fresh in life
Only 15

That women at least is arrested
for taking his life with a bullet
when he was fresh with life
only 15

I don't know intentions
behind the worst ending
when a boy was fresh with life
only 15

Hopefully I see him above
when my time has come
when he was fresh with life
only 15

I miss him
that boy was encouraging
fresh in life
and only 15

I did it finally!!!

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CBhQ-3hjyf-/?igshid=su23qn4ivbxg

I can smile but at times i feel like i can't
My prayers get answered with pill that number rises with every year
And a mood stablizier that is there just to be part of the party

I can be your machine lover. Just don't get my hands ***** for you. You say it will be alright but you don't know what is going on in my mind. You say the ******* sun will shine but be in my shoes for a chance.

You know how it feels to be at the end of your rope...
Depression does that.
Depression take a good day and throw that idea out the window.
I would say ***** depression too if i were you.
Don't wish it upon yourself just so you can fit in.
But for me i acually struggle.
So i find a way out...
     A single slice of skin..
           A puff of nicotine...
               A prose of poetry....

Yeah, you make a vice
A vice so you can forget everything
A vice that leaves scars
Because you are trying to find a light

That scares people
You have the ability to harm yourself
Your "temple"
But ****...sometimes to heal you got to hurt!
So let me be
Let me heal

Maple syrup, two pancakes and grossly made hashbrowns...
you forever have a place in this life as a friend,
and a place in my heart.
for without you,
I wouldnt be as strong as I am nor be as wise.
I wouldnt be spending 50 bucks a month for confidence nor going out for our dates? coffee breaks from the world

Chai milk tea, boba of some sort, and you...
you changed me for the better, y/n
this might have been made on the fly and im tired as hell
i wanted you to understand that,
this big ol heart of mine,
cares more than you can dream
and loves you more than you can imagine...

Here is another one!

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CBpHjXNHu5i/?igshid=80n4zztrhk0e

He fell asleep to me reading ballads
Ballads of love and joy
Ballads that were happy

He fell asleep and awoke
A bad dream, he says
Oh, 10 more so he may have sweet dreams

10 more, 10 more
Maybe this time I read mine.
Class rants and ballads for his sweet dreams

Maybe abusing sleepy meds, he says
So I worry that there would be no more dreams ever
so i write his family

A text yet still a note
On what there child is doing
And how it is concerning...

So i can decide 10 more,
To ease his mind
To put him asleep as David did with his songs

So he can say, 10 more
So he can understand me
on a different level than most

I have been plagued by the monster my entire life. They've always stopped me from falling in love with them. They've always blocked your way to them.

“You can't go to her,” the monster says, “If you go to her you'll die. I don't want to see that happen.”

I pulled a blade to my wrists.

The monster disappeared.

They appeared.

“Why, my love? Why,” they pulled me into their arms as my blood trickled out.

“I just wanted to be with you,” as I muttered my last words they pulled me in closer, they were crying. My eyes slowly were closing. They were the last thing I saw ever.

You had defeated a monster, but the monster was me. I now lie in the hands of death.

Death was such a nice person, very welcoming. I was always in love with Death and Death was in love with me from time to time, but loving Death meant losing Life.

A dance with death
It is a elegant thing
A dance with a slowing pace

A dance with death
Is all I need
To make this decision

A dance with death
For this decision
Between two people

A dance with death
To decide between you
or him

So let me have this dance
Death
So I can decide between them

Lets waltz
with a trail of blood following us

Lets foxtrot
with a beat to sufficate to

Lets tango
to the beat of my heart slowing

Death
Thanks for the dance
To decide between the two people


Thanks

This is a case that include you, my current crush.
     Of what you have caused
     And what you have done to me

Like when I hear your singing or normal voice
     It makes me want to hear you speak for enterities on end
Like when you smile your real smile
     It makes me want to freeze time right there just so I can soak it in for a few more minutes
Just even you being...You
     Causes my heart to flutter
     Like a butterfly's wing
     No, like a hummingbird's wings is more accurate

The diagnosis I am giving to myself is I am falling for you
     I am falling deeper into love with who you are

The treatment plan is to make you mine
     To make sure you are good for me and get to know you
     Then make you mine
      


That would be nice
Right?

Don't you get it?
Maybe if seeing wasn't always believing
Just maybe for once it wasn't just that
You would understand ALL of me
ALL of the unseeable conditions
ALL of the unseeable injuries I have acquired through life
Just if you can read deeper into me you could believe

A tree's roots
Deep in the ground
Like little fingers
Calling me down

Says it softly
A few simple words
In a poem maybe
Or is it a tune?

It sticks in my head
Its sickly rhyme
Echoing and never changing
Word unspoken ring

"Pretty girls and pretty boys
Come meet my roots
Come and lie down
And hurt no more

Listen to me, pretty being
Listen closely and fully
Open your ears
And  open your heart, dear

Pretty things happen here
No pain nor suffering
Just me hugging you
Me and the worms"

I scream near the tree
A shovel waiting this time
Tempting and calling me
Over and over again

I scream at the roots
And at the godforsaken tree
I scream at the branches
And the cursed leaves its bears

"Why, why, why!
Why do you say such things?
I want nothing to do with you!
With you and your worms!"

My feet won't move
The godforsaken tree has me
Its roots hold me here
Here staring at the tree

Quietly it speaks again
Quietly it says a new tune
Softly it pushes me foreward
Closer to it personal shovel

"Hush, hush, you want this
You want to be held
You want to pick it up
So you can be held once more

Hush, hush, pretty being
Let my roots hold you
Let me comfort you
Let me, pretty being,let me

Shush, shush, stop your crying
Stop your harsh words
And stop those tears
I am here now
Let me wipe those tears"

I collapse into the earth
I fall into its roots
Crying and heaving
I fall into its embrace
My end is here and i bid farewell

If he knew...
I see blue tinted skies
With those ocean eyes in view

If he knew...
Im here in his storm
Holding on to him and those ocean eyes

Truth be told
There is more
More than pesky feelings
And a pretty boy

Truth be told
There is a illiad of things
Ranging from my childhood to breaking a pattern
So much more than a pretty boy...

Much much more than a boy
Torn because i thought he was my soulmate
Yet, he thought another was his romantically
It is his life and i cannot control but platonics

Be my escape by Relient K

I've given up on giving up slowly,
I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
Because I know to live you must give your life away
And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing
Where to go, promise I'm going because
I gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape.
I'm giving up on doing this alone now
'Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there
And this life sentence that I'm serving
I admit that I'm every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
'Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing
Where to go, promise I'm going because
I gotta get outta here
'Cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I've made
And all I'm asking is for you to do what You can with me
But I can't ask You to give what You already gave
'Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing
Where to go, promise I'm going because
I've gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I've gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape.
I fought you for so long
I should have let you in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were you
So were you

Uncomfortable truth.
It might be silent after.
At least they know.

For the record
I have those feelings
The feelings I promised I didn't have

An uncomfortable truth to admit
Don't be silent
I don't act upon it

So I hear the trio of voices once more
I can't afford to be a coward
So I listen to these voices

They say it together
Uncomfortable silence and an uncomfortable truth
Doesn't this hurt?

Well, yes but it's apart of adulting
“The guilt of not saying something?”
Well, I do have that but what about the guilt if I do?
“For the record, this is self-destructive.”
Well, For the record, I know. Let those feelings die.

I'll let my uncomfortable truth become a memory
When that memory fades, we will stay just Best Friends
Best friends forever that don't have feelings like that for you anymore

So I got asked,
"Would you rather...An Uncomforting Truth or A Comforting Lie?"
And I think the truth is always best...

We see the same moon
And live in the same town

We went to the same school
And have mutual crushes as well

But you say patience
I must wait
Which is worse then seeing a raven upon a bust

Because nevermore will God create
A guy as loyal as you
As trustworthy or wise
As smart or righteous
As tolerant or able to deal with my wretched self

You are a gift now, of course
and shall even be a curse now too
You are curious about me now
And seem to be forevermore

Look at the stars
I am looking at them too
But your skin and bones
All so beautiful

I drew lines for you
Lines turned to words
Words to prose...
All so beautiful.

All so beautiful
Your cries and laughs
The unique curvature
All so beautiful.

You can't hide-ck9c


Bring you down here in the dead of night
Keep you working
Try to survive
We are secretly watching you too
Trying our best to get at you

RUN
You can Run
But You can't hide
We'll always seek
We'll always find
You can Run
But You can't hide
We'll always seek
We'll always find
You can run
You can try
You can run
But you can't hide
You can run
You can try
You can run
But you can't hide

They're laughing while finding
I'm hiding, I'm trying
I feel like she's lying
I feel like I'm dying
She's guiding me quietly
Instructing me blindly
Afraid of what might be
I feel like I'm dying

I hear a sound
(It's prolly just a mouse)
I see them in the dark
(I only saw a spark)
I know there's someone there
(Not as far as I'm aware)
Why don't you believe me?
Maybe you're right
(It's just another night)
But I heard a creak
(Just go back to sleep)
I'm always quick to rage
(So go back to your stage)
(Wait... Now I hear it...)

RUN
What's that sound
I know someone's there
Hiding in the shadows
Thinking I was unaware
Who's that I see
The birthday boy to be
Let's invite him over
Hurry up before he's bolder

Oh Bon-Bon
Let's make this fun
You can't deter me this time
No I'm done
I won't go back to my stage
It's my new trend
Well let's say hi to the new friend
I knew I was right to think I would find you over here
Well isn't it intriguing that
You seem to be just a little bit weary

Of Bon-Bon and me
Well there's no need
We know you want to deactivate us
But we just can't let that happen
Every night always it never changes
But we can make accidents happen
We can make accidents happen
We can make accidents happen
We can make accidents happen

There it is
again
that funny feeeeling
it will go away if i put it aside long enough
the quiet comprehending of the end of it
it can become overdue
and it could be over soon

What the ****?
Thoughts??
What do I do?
I am just so ******...up
I am just a special kind of ******
So maybe I should stop
I dont want a little bit of everything all of the time
I just want to leave this world better than I found it
just outplayed, outclassed for that one
that one dream
they insanity is trying is the same thing expecting something....
diferrent, new, better
so i must be insane to want it
want that to be my dream
last time wont be the last time I try either