A single grain of salt
divided the ocean,
creating a rift
for the convoy of change
to triumphantly march,
and once again unite the ocean
in it's revolutionizing wake.

Like a stone in the ocean,
Or a drop of water
In glistening oil,
A hole begins to fester.

Deep within my core,
The inching shadow grips my fears,
Throwing away my desires,
And beckoning my tears.

Skipping stones
Like wishing bones
Water spraying
Like stars praying.
Glimmer and flash
Into a feathery splash.
A midsummer sun
But winter’s begun,
So with the ocean I strive,
Cold and delightfully alive.

Through ashes and dust;
Pillars of rot and rust,
Accomplishments lie,
Untouched.

Seconds sail into minutes,
And minutes fly into years.
Within this corroded world,
Time is all of our material fears.

Sometimes
I’m living in my own shadow,
Pushed into what others see.

Sometimes
I’m sticking out like neon
In large groups of people.

Sometimes
I’m still holding on
To what’s long gone.

Sometimes
I forget to let go,
And my blood seeps
Into an outward flow.

Silent eyes
Words unspoken
Verses written
Apologies given

Losing voice
Minds refraining
Old moon’s waning
A soul’s new painting

Verbal life
Lines on run
Vocal chords sung
And a world undone

In our poetry it’s hidden
The questions we are asking
And answers I’ve never won

Like a spell,
Diffusing itself from the wand,
Or a petrified cat,
When it’s cage is opened,
a wave of
Conflicting
Confounding emotions
Drown me in their lust...

Their lust for hatred.
Is this spell of confusion
Just to ignite a flaming rage?
Or am I too confused
To think clearly?

Once more
I learn the same lesson
That brought me down
Several times before.

Numbers rising
Like falling stars.
Galaxies away?
No...
Right outside my door.

As water comes to fire
A flash flood of steam ignites.
As forward memories
Reveal themselves once again,
I wonder what I thought back then.

The moon slaps my face
With its brightly shining beams.
Now I remember that day
So many years ago,
When I feared the aliens there.
Now their existence
Is a mere fact of life.

Four-k cameras
don't do a scene much justice,
but beautifully spun verses
can imprint a distinct image
into one's imaginative mind.

As comets fly
Splitting the sky,

Innumerable stars
Litter the beyond

A fleeting moment
Worth a million words,
Yet only so much
Can I say.

Let time flow as it does
And embrace my icy hands.
We’ll continue this walk together,
Because even I am not immune
To the coldly lonesome weather.

Maybe life
Just wants me to suffer.
It’s not like anybody ****** up,
Because I’m already ****** up.

Maybe cool metal
Can freeze my sunburt arms...

As a paper gets torn
Fragments are created
Only to be lost from sight

And from mind.

As ink brands a paper, art,
A tear brands a paper,
As nothing more than a lost fragment

Beauty to be found
Lies throughout the stony earth.
In the morning dew ground,
We find the life that shall be known
In all things
where the wind has been blown

Stuck wide awake,
After being given
A rather rough wake up slap.
Now a red rash of fear remains,
Stinging my brain with sharp pains.

The past five days
Were not the best.
You could even say
That they were ****,
As you disgustedly spit
Into your spittoon.
But they were among
The best five days
That I’ve been blessed to live
In the five year winter.
I think the equinox is finally coming,
So I’ll start my vernal days humming.

As guilt for my actions
Burns like a seeping acid;
Pervading every layer of my soul,
I wonder where I wasn’t whole.

Where did I stumble off track,
How much have I destroyed,
And what meaningful relations
have I cannibalized oh so brutally?

Maybe if I become the bird
To break the egg;
The world,

I’ll shatter the ice locking
My heart in place.

Throwing off these chains
Of human connection,
And hatching into a dove.

Gazes repeat on occasion,
Looking into what looks back.
The mirror lies at the edge too;
All it takes is a single step.

Sliding through
a mountain of confusion;
My ghastly body shattering
the weakened illusion.

Crow’s feathers fall in reams...
This world really is
As sad as it seems.

The music fuels my muscles,
Giving them the final twitch;
The final burst of strength
To push myself up one more notch,
And further excel.

To dehumanize someone
Is to break the chains
That hold their wings
To an earthen reality.

Does complicated emotion
Really prove
That we are above animals?

Or does it drag us down?

Life chained me down with roses.
Gave me a forsaken heart attack,
Let my poisoned blood seep out.
And I watched it all fade to black...

Spinning round and round
For this endless eternity
On this infernally angelic
Carousel of bloodlust and agony.

You fade to black,
Grab a new face,
And begin to dance
In gently collected moonlight.

Time drifts around the clock
And I’m still right here.
You gather even more faces
As you teleport far away.

Between air and ground,
Water and fire,
Lies a mountain of steam,
And daybreak’s vibrant dew.

Why does the water stick
To these blades of grass?
When all they do is slice.

Why did you
Stay to me
When all I did was hurt?

As life draws its thinning line,
A darkness falls behind closed doors.
A creation of which mankind abhors,
Destroyed through the course
Of our destructive mental wars.

Never judge a book
By its cover
But your look
Is so loud,
You’ve become an audiobook.

You take a sugary treat,
Add some salt if it’s too sweet.

I remember every moment with her.
The mistakes i make will allow her to infer.

I want her to forgive all that I’ve done.
It’s my fault, I only ruined her fun.

All of her problems should trace back to me.
Even if I was never involved, that’s how it’s to be.

Continuing with this will break both our hearts,
Piercing our chests with barbed darts.

We leave them in, holding our regret,
These darts aren’t pulled, so we never forget.

Remembering past times is adding salt
To all the sweet things, it’s the thinker’s fault.

Cry me a river,
Hum me a song.
Whisper me a shout,
Find where I belong.

Orchestrate me a melody,
Incinerate me a candlelight,
Shout me a far off whisper,
Let me fall to a worldly blight

The knot that resides
Upon the finger
Of your precious other
Is inexpedient for
The justification of your means.

Emerald eyes;
Ones sharp enough
To cleave the soul itself
And pierce a hopeful heart.

Built to be selfless,
Yet made to self destruct.
Internal compassion
Was never meant to be
For this sorrowful existence.

How much longer can I suppress this feeling?
It seems that my time is running out,
Faster than my own terminal velocity.
I just might consider what I see as an atrocity

I could never commit such an act!
Professing my love is a horrible move
This sounds innocent to everyone, i bet
But to her i feel emotionally in debt

She had stabilized me when I needed it most
I would have never survived leadership otherwise
She made me feel all these new emotions,
More than I can count on my fingers.

But what I want most,
Is to thank her for everything she’s done.
She doesn’t know it, but she saved my life once
And I wanna apologize as well.

I want to apologize for someone like me
To end up being the one that liked her,
I want to be with her so
I can thank and apologize without problem.

I love her,
More than I can describe,
with my current vocabulary at least.
It must sound cliche, but it’s true.

I wish I could be the one to make her smile
But I’ll end up being on the sidelines
I was never meant to be the protagonist
And life is no romantic comedy.

Why did I like her?
Se seemed cool.
No other reason.
I wish it was a better reason.

How’d I fall in love?
A moment of euphoria.
After a completed challenge,
I gazed into those eyes,
And it all snapped into place.
I wanted to hug her,
We were both swept up in the moment,
She probably would’ve resisted though.

But I have to come to terms.
She is above me, she’s the valedictorian.
I’m in a measly 4th place.
I can’t ever go out with someone out of my reach.

I want to rise up.
To third or second
To come close to her
Or even with her
Before I confess.
I cannot wait forever though,
For I cannot hold my emotions back indefinitely,
And eventually I’ll break down.

I want to help her
She seems so stressed.
She’s always smiling,
but just like me,
Her smile hides stress and pain.
I want her to smile for real
And to feel really carefree
I would shoulder her pain w-out a second thought.


It would be nice,
If she could help me too...
I don’t need it, I shouldn’t want it,
But I kind of do anyways.

However,
A small spark of light
Begins to flood
The sun-bleached floor.

A pinprick of light
Entering and exiting existence
Like a flickering green leaf
Among an auburn landscape.

An instance of time,
And an object of remembrance.
Burned in our eyes
By the hopeful sidelong glance.

The words you uttered just now
Reminded me of the place
We went to a year ago.
I was much younger then,
Take me back to those days when
I was hopelessly in love with you.

Now, I cannot say the same is true.

A citric eastern breeze
Beckons in frosted waves.
A mosaic of spectral sun
Drawn upon the fractured glass.
Surf exploding onto rocks
Like the trillions of stars
Now twinkling,
At twilight.

The roses kneel
Before the trees
The shadowed reveal
Before the breeze.

The smell of rain
In the sky.
My tears are gone
And the well is dry.

Why am I welcomed
By burning pages
And culling voices?

Feeling the waves
Fleeing beachside,
Reaching oceanbound.
With feet planted in the ground,
But you’re nowhere to be found
My heart leapt forward
To save that which had drowned
Yet it was too late
You came to comfort,
My worldly hate.

Striking the light
With a force to bail the seas;
A mentality built to burn,
with the season’s cyclic turn.

A hammer on ice,
Frigid metal burning snow.
Snapping of tension,
The southern winds blow.

Scattered across countless blades,
Sliding over the glinting steel.
All I can see is my touch and feel,
But what lies between these
I cannot take as real.

It’s good to write of those
Who left you broken.

But I find it fulfilling
To write of those
Who still have yet to leave.
Maybe it’s my message
That they’ll receive.

I just want to cry,
I want to spit my tears upon my pillow,
and cry in my silence for the remainder
of my raven eve.

Why can't I cry?
Where is the salty mix
running down my cheeks?
Why do I feel the tears well up
even though they don't release?

My mask is broken.
the fissure ran its course,
and split my face right open.

Chasing
A long-forgotten mist.
Running
On Lævateinn’s edge.

The final sprint
Just seconds away
Tedium envelopes my being,
While my flames fade to gray.

The white blanket recedes
Revealing a jade carpet.
Snow comes,
And snow goes.

It’s a youthful romance
Of heaven and earth.

As the endless expanse
Stretches itself before my eyes,
Flickering lights create depth.

All that lies between
Is the iridescence of our sunset,
And the fragrance of our universe.

Standing on the cracks,
I flip to the last open page.
Emotions dragging my into chains...
The air around me still feels like a cage.
Living in a camouflage
Of the things within my rage.

Dec.27.2019

Why do I hold myself back
from what I want to do?

"To hide the overpowering disappointment.
You don't want to forever hurt yourself,
so you stay silently discreet; lay low."

But why don't I want to hear them speak?

"Again, to save your no-good cowardly ***.
You are quite the physical *******,
a lover of being cut, bruised, and bludgeoned,
but you suffer from being mentally skullfucked.
Aren't you supposed to me smart?
Maybe, just maybe, if you had confidence,
you wouldn't be talking to me;
the one person who wants you dead.
you refrain from everything,
yet you always seek counsel with me."

Because you're the only one I truly trust...

"Go **** yourself, just talk to someone else."