Thousands of beads of rain fall
Never sinking into the right grounds
As hordes of seeds of thoughts die
Never really losing you
Never really keeping you

Impulses received as afterthoughts
I'm the person you deserve
When the door closes behind you

Were the crafted seconds to be
It would take but one for you to see
These hardened layers through
It takes just one to believe

Time passes
Seconds turn to years
The silence is beautiful
blanketing all
Like snow choking out all that's living
But glistening like gems in the light
This soul nestled inside the same bones

Yours..

When you stare long enough in the mirror
You start to think
the light doesn't fall quite right
You start to see the ugly things
You wonder if you are loved
In spite of or because of
It's not just lines or curves or surfaces
It's thoughts and memories and feelings
The things you let go
But they never went far..

Medusa's eyes your own
Turning you into stone
As you try to look away

You develop an aversion
To being alone
A penchant for tinted bottles
And an affinity to poetry

You say "you're finding yourself"
But you're really running away
From the things you let go
But they never went far.

When words are said
Censored thoughts
And I drown in moments
You barely remember

This state of mind
Is a house I built
I made you a key
You said you'd take
But wouldn't use

Do I stay in this house
Or do I leave?
Do I walk away
Or burn it to the ground?

The words don't flow the same
The colours seem too tame
Lashing out like a whip,
Tongue doesn't know when to stop..
Last piece didn't fall into place..
Now I think I've been building
A castle in abstract air..
This cartoon ground crumbles
beneath my leather shorn feet
I fall upon this weathered earth
Disillusioned yet unblinded
Stuffing my ears with things
I've ripped apart
To keep from hearing the tick tock
Of this broken clock
Cranking the volume of this poem up
To Drown out the phrase "I'm lost"
But the words don't flow the same
This tongue hasn't learned
This new rhythm
And I sit in the dark sometimes
Counting the seconds
Until my heart learns it too..

try to tear myself away
from this rudimenta...

backspace, keep thinking...
not good enough.

he..
no you cant say that
you're a strong woman..

when do i get to be weak
and unreasonable?
when do i get to be the broken one?

the bells toll my turn for insanity

when will it be over
this arbitrary struggle
and longing to belong
still to distinguish
oneself from the rubble
of a crumbling world?

putting out a half-smoked cigarette
think to cut the cord
curling up in blue sheets
think to make it stop

a love was torn from me
merciless nonchalance

i am that rock
falling still identical
the rubble of a crumbling world

surrounded by an energy
I can't quite understand
"No trespassers allowed"
don't think you know that..
Whatever it took..
Keep reading
this blank-paged book
I can't for the life of me
Figure out why
Them not you..
No cosmic sense
No cannons for those walls..
Perhaps I was all wrong
But you never were..

I love to look at you,
Trying to read those eyes
For signs of truth you bear alone

I think

You got lost trying to find meaning
I got lost trying to find "life"
You liked being lost..
And I, well....
I was lost.