It's the things we want that destroy us
Creeping slowly out of the light
Dragging us with them
We morph and twist
Into shapes unlike us
Try to understand
What baits me so
Hold onto a slippery self
And frown upon
This consolation superiority..
Let the bad remind me to be good
Let these sinful hands fall upon
The loneliness deserved.
I am forgiven
But I punish myself..
My father always said
"Beware the beginnings,
They are the root of all evil."

You're too much in your own head
To love another human being
Except conceptually..

We missed our exit on a one way road

I was a puppet
Handing over strings
I loved you
You never cared much

Why am I always at the door?
These feet were made
For threshholds
These lips for silence..

Been breathing air
Polluted with freedom
We are all selfish
In the pursuit of it..

I loved you
You never cared much
I went looking
And life is such

When we fall, we break..

I died trying to build my pieces
Into a different form..

The thing is though,
I loved you when I was whole
Even more so in pieces..
The thing with freedom is
It must be given as it is taken.

The important things
Have become arbitrary landmarks
I feel a detached distaste
A numbness when I cross my mind
I wanted to be  
beautiful, mysterious, adventurous
I wanted to be free...
The farther I look for myself
The more intricately I web myself in
The idea of a person..
have I become that person
What does that even mean?
When does reinvention
Become destruction?
Do you keep falling
Because you've grown attuned to the motion?
When do decisions become muscle memory?
I'm digging tunnels , digging pits
Lights fade out , I forget I need saving

I would very much like to be strung along
would love to be your target practice
Wouldn't mind being hurt by you
It's all better than nothing

When Is it going to happen
Is it ever going to
I'm falling apart wishing
For everything you..
Come on now
Am I that hard to love?
Stop that now
This hope that breeds
Eternal misery..
Just let me step
On this landmine
Let me detonate..
I'm falling apart
Couldn't you just pretend
That I was worth a shot?

The things I've done lately
I want to cut out my veins
And drain my offensive blood
cut my brain apart
Piece it just right
Make sure ghosts never became souls
And demons never wrote scripts..

I don't know who I am anymore
And all I can think is cut...
But my skin stays unstung
And my eyes remain dry..

Starting to think, he's the one to fix me
The only one who can..
He's the one pure thing I never had
I'm drowning in the tar
Accelerating heart beat
I reach up for air
I become a brick in the wall
I don't know how long
This dam is going to hold

Cut, cut...

Play the music louder
Drown out all thoughts
I'm not worthy
But I'm all I've got

Go back to the thing that broke me
Hold on to the words that haunt me

I wear the same clothes
I look the same
But all I can think

Cut.