The moment has arrived,
The moment where I had the last glimpse of you
The moment that I hugged you tight, giving final farewell
The moment that I felt your last touch, which still remains under my skin
The moment when I wanted all the clocks in the world to stop ticking
The moment when my heart was aching
The moment when my tears were breaking their flood gates
The moment that I dreaded for, since the day I met you..
The moment that slipped the earth under my feet..
The moment that tore away my belief on eternal love..
The moment that I died inside

I will not complain that you left me..
Because....
Every minute that you stared at me, made me feel that I look beautiful too..
Every laugh you shared with me, made me feel that I can be happy too..
Every touch of you made me realize that I still can feel love..
Every moment that I spent with you made me feel that life can be beautiful
Yes, I will not complain that you left me…
I will wait for your return..if not this life.. Next life it is..
Yea, you are worth the wait..for me.

i feel trapped
kind of like rapunzel
but this is my choice
i choose to not leave my room
not because i like staying in my room all day
without any food
or human interaction
but thats exactly it
i would rather starve and cry in my room all day
than go downstairs
to see her face
in my moms house
in my moms kitchen

id rather cry
in my room
alone
staring at my grey and burgundy walls
than see her
ever

id rather starve
in my room
than go see my dad treat her better
than he ever treated my mom
id rather be alone in my room
than see him erase my mom from the house
by painting the walls a different colour
by misplacing things in the cupboards permanently
by taking down all of her photos
by putting in new furniture to us that is familiar with that one

id rather go unheard
in my room
in my house
while my head implodes

My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.

No.

I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
between
dreaming and
mortality

and

I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
involve

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
nightmares,
hazy realities
and

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,
now,


is decide.