I will not complain that you left me..
Because.
Every minute that you stared at me, made me feel that I look beautiful too..
Every laugh you shared with me, made me feel that I can be happy too..
Every touch of you made me realize that I still can feel love..
Every moment that I spent with you made me feel that life can be beautiful
Yes, I will not complain that you left me…
I will wait for your return..if not this life.. Next life it is..

Okay, breath in, breath out.
Okay now repeat these words with your heart, body and soul
He doesn’t love me, never has, never will
He doesn’t love me, never has, never will
He doesn’t love me, never has, never will
He doesn’t love me, never has, never will
He doesn’t love me, never has, never will
He doesn’t love me, never has, never will
Repeat it again and again till you don’t feel sad anymore
Repeat the words till no tear comes from your eyes
Repeat it till, you smile and laugh at yourself
Okay now breathe in, and oo-out
Repeat this with your body, soul and heart
I will stop this stupidity, love myself, and focus on me
I will stop this stupidity, love myself, and focus on me
I will stop this stupidity, love myself, and focus on me
I will stop this stupidity, love myself, and focus on me
I will stop this stupidity, love myself, and focus on me
I will stop this stupidity, love myself, and focus on me
Repeat it till you don’t feel ****
Repeat it till you start shrubbing and laugh hard at yourself
Repeat it till the emptiness is all gone
Repeat it till you feel you are ready to move on
Repeat it as many times as you want,
Till you feel you can trust yourself with the thought of him/her
Now, breathe in and ouuuu-t!
Be you. Focus on you. Love you. Explore you.

Why do I miss you so much though?
Now that you have probably given up on me,
You went quiet without nay explanation
My pride gets the better of me, I can't bring myself to texting you or calling you.
Now that I decided to face my fear and drop a text,
You didn't reply
We communicate professionally on emails
Work related.
You view my status and don't say a thing
I swallow my pride again to text you 'i miss you'
That too go un replied.
I decide to just call and get over it,
Call too not picked.
I don't know why I feel this way
Fear of rejection of being walked out on.
Fear of loosing in my own game.
I don't love love you, I swear,
But I loved loved the attention
The constant calls that sometimes I wouldn't pick intentionally
The annoying 'i love ' texts that I never replied!
This is how it feels to be ghosted?
Gosh, just come back, I need to win this game.
I can't live knowing you are the one that walked away
I can't stand being ghosted,
Gosh, I miss the flirts, the attention, the love
I know it's selfish, but I do miss you
Maybe for the wrong reasons but,
I miss you.

Life is too short to hold grudges and hate
Live your life now; be happy
Fall in love and don’t be afraid of heartbreaks
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
We all learn from our mistakes
I would say I have made mistakes,
Been naughty and stubborn
Been in love and heartbroken
Been sad and happy
I am not perfect, yes
But am always willing to take risks in anything
I have always been fearless
Because, it’s only a matter of days, weeks, months, years,
Before we all out of this world
It’s just a matter of time before we leave everything behind
It’s just a matter of time...
I hope to live to experience everything my heart desires…
I wouldn’t talk about living long enough,
Because, I mean how enough is enough?
One day when I am gone, you will say;
She lived, loved, explored and was always happy!!

I love him and i love him so much,
In him,i see stars and sunshine of love,
Lighting my heart day and night
Making my days pass fast
In him I see a loving man,kind hearted,
Actually all the good adjectives describe him  

Since i fell in love with him, the world stopped..
I fell into a new world with just two people
Him and i
Everyday,every second i want to remind him,
How lucky i am,
How happy he makes me feel,
How much i appreciate him,
And the hows are endless....

I burst with love just with the thought of my love
I feel the red hot flames and my heart skips with joy
I feel safe in his arms anytime he hugs me,
Even just a little touch from him tingles me..
When he comes close to me,i feel his breath enter my soul,
Whenever you tell me those sweet words,
I get chills up my spine
I trully adulate this man
Him and only him is the love of my life
Its your love I cherish, above everything

I chose you years ago
I will choose you today, tomorrow
I will choose every single day of my life
Because you are the most passionate,
Loyal, understanding, accommodating
Tolerating, loving, respectful, forgiving
Handsome, and I can go on and on
I promise to, if not reciprocate every adjective there,
At least try and get all of them!
I promise to support you in every step you take in life,
Because it has never been your life alone, but ours
I promise to share with you every piece of my mind,
I promise to share every piece of my heart,
Every piece of my thoughts and love
Every piece of my happiness and sadness
Every success and failures
Every mistakes and achievements
Every piece of my body, just with you!
I will always be your best friend
You will always be number one
Because we are one, and forever we shall be!

It was good while it lasted!
I know you feel the same way too, if am not wrong
I am not ready to let you go baby
I don’t know whether this is mutual but, well for me that’s what I feel anytime I think of you.
Please tell me it was real when we were together
Please tell me you meant every word,
Every kiss, every touch
Every whisper, every laughter
Every moment we shared together.
Please tell me I meant something to you
Something special, coz for me you were more than special and still is
I know I said I can handle being away from you
I know I also said that I can handle being around you
I know I promised to stay calm whenever I am around you
I know I also said that I will act up and strong
People say so many things when they are in-
No! - I don’t want to use that term in-love coz I hate the sound of it
But these things love, it weakens even the strongest of the strongest
It brings out emotions that you always want to lock up away
It makes you vulnerable
It makes you cry at the silliest of things
It makes you smile at the tiniest things
It makes you question your worth sometimes when sad
It makes you appreciate and love yourself when you are happy
It also makes you irritated whenever things don’t go your way
I hate to say this, not just to you but to myself as well
That I love you, I love you more than I could imagine
That I don’t love how the feeling has turned me into something I never want to be-vulnerable.
I think every time of how badly am just about to get hurt
It breaks my heart, but what can I do?
I don’t know baby I don’t know what to do
Am holding on, hoping the feeling fades away with time
Coz clearly it’s a forbidden love
Am’a just hold on, tears
Oh, and so you know, I stopped writing poems/pieces for some reason but here I am…
I have no one to talk to once again but my keyboard and blank word document

Oh, where do I even begin?
My best and loyal friend
My brother, my family,
My husband, the love of my life,
Happy birthday!
I am speechless, what do I tell you
Ooh, the father of my two adorable twins
This is the second time you are celebrating your birthday as a father  
This is the seventh time you are celebrating your birthday with me
We have come a long way,
It’s been a bumpy one but here we are, growing stronger by the day
We have had a lot of misunderstandings,
But hey, who doesn’t?
Relationships are tough, but our love is tougher
Marriage is a commitment, and we all know the ups and downs
But in every misunderstanding, the commitment grows even stronger
It’s your birthday today love,
All I can say is, I love you beyond words
I love you more than I did a year ago
I love you more than I did a month ago
I love you more than I did a week ago
I love you more than I did a day ago
I love you more than I did a minute ago,
I love you more than I did a second ago
I know even tomorrow I will love you more than I do today!
You have grown in me, and for sure, you are part of me!

I got to say it anyway even if you dont want to hear it.
Making love with you was magical.
You got me,  you knew every weak spot..
You knew where to hold,  where to touch,  where to kiss..
To get me to the mood always.
You knew how how to make love to me.
You knew how to make me ***-probably the only one who's achieved that.
I get these feelings whenever i am just about to meet you-like sinking date.
It's un describable.
The joy i feel.  The butterflies.  I just get into the mood immediately.  
You are one person I'll probably never get over.  
You cast a spell on me or something.  You.. You are...you are..always will be "that one."

Honestly speaking,
I don’t think this is going to work out
Clearly you don’t value this relationship
You don’t want this
You haven’t given it your all
I know you are chocking inside to tell me it’s over
I know it’s hard for you to do so
So let me make it easier for you,
Let’s just stop this
Let’s stop trying too hard
Am trying to be in this so hard
While you are trying to be out of it so bad
I am one person who takes dates seriously
I take communication, conversation seriously
I take, let me call you back in a few’ seriously
I take every moment we set aside for each other seriously, however small
I take you seriously
I take us seriously
The fact that I don’t whine about it
The fact that I don’t nag about it to you doesn’t mean I don’t hurt
It hurts so badly,
It feels like I am trying too hard
You know what the society calls women who try too hard
Too hard to be with someone?
Women who goes for the man they love
Gives it a try, hoping they get loved back?
I believe some people are worth giving up on
Some relationships are never meant to be.
This is one of them.

Dark poetry? Other call it sad poems, depressing poems
Most times people  are scared to  express the other side of love,
We are trapped in  our own sorrows and feelings,
We tend to shy away from expressing the true picture  
When we are hurt, we hide in  sorrows
When  heartbroken, we pretend to be “okay”
People ask why I write alot of dark poetry
Every human has a weakness,
My greatest weakness is expressing love,
I feel shy putting it out in public, so I tend to venture into exploring the other side of love
I imagine how heartbroken people feel and write about it
I imagine how sad it is
I walk in their shoes through poetry
Poetry language is loud
Poets are quiet people though...

I thought it was nothing when we first met
I knew it was just ***
The first time,I Felt like it’s going to be easy
We agreed it was going to be a fling
Weeks later,I couldn’t recognise myself anymore
I wasn’t the same anymore
I felt more emotions, cried alot
It started to get to me,so much that it took control over me
It controlled how I feel,how I act,how I feed
It had me wrapped  up and squeezed in its little palms.
I tried to escape from it,but I kept crawling back
I couldn’t talk to anyone,so I Googled
You don’t want to know the keywords for the search..
But every result gave me a falling in love narrative,
I didn’t want to fall in love, I just wanted ***
I didn’t want to be attached,I just wanted the attention
I didn’t want a relationship,I just just wanted company
I didn’t want commitment,I just just just needed a one time every time
“How did I get here” I asked myself everytime I was in the shower
Or when the thought of you popped  up
I’d fallen madly for you
Deep down, I knew it was *******
Deep down,I knew if I told you,you would laugh so hard
So I wallow in my pain,trying to pull out,
I hope i take it down sooner before it takes me down!

What did I ever do wrong to you,
That you keep hurting me
Over and over and over
I am patient with you
I never ask for explanations,
Explanations for stood up dates
Explanations for unreturned calls
Explanations for texts that go un answered.
I love you!
Probably more than a person should
Do you even think about me at all?
After standing me up on dates
Are you even bothered at all at the thought of texts I sent and you didn't reply
Do you even get the urge to return my calls at all
Why, why do you do this to me
Am sorry if I did anything unforgivable
Am sorry if I ever hurt you
Am sorry you in this relationship
Am sorry that you strain to be with me
I know I've tried my best, done my best
I know I have loved you, still do,so much
I know I have given you your space,
Sorry if you felt am too much
I have to hold back my tears
Coz, I have cried so much, so much
This love, that I feel for you is killing me
When I die, don't even bring your breath to my funeral.

I don't feel sad
I don't feel empty
I don't feel angry
I don't feel the void
I don't feel depressed
I don't feel unwanted
I appreciate you being in my life
With on and off breakups
This last one had me reflect
There's more to life than you
There's more to me than you.
There's more to happiness than sadness.
Peace.

Talking to you gave me strength
Strength to face anything
Talking to you brought me happiness
I was always in a good mood
Nothing seemed to stress me at all
Coz we'd talk it out and you'd make me feel lighter.
Talking to you everyday made days look like seconds.
I don't know where the chain broke
I'd fix it
Tell me what to do and I'll do it
It just ended
We are now strangers
I long to talk to youlike before
But you seeem distant.
Like it was all a lie
Or ....
Or ..
Was it just a moment to pass
Are you tired of this hopeless romantic nagging person
Trying to pull you back
Trying to fix us
Has taken everything from me
My pride, dignity, self worth, ego,strength, happiness
Maybe it's time
I'm not ready yet, so just board
I'll take the next train-
If I ever get ready on time.

Even the strongest breakdown
Human nature catches up with them
They try to hide their tears
They say I'm strong.
How can that be?
When I feel suffocated with my own breath
I feel cold, and empty and alone
Even in a room full of people
I put on a mask everytime.
I'm tired of masking
I'm tired of wearing that version
It kills me inside.
This is the only place I can be myself.
The only place that feels like home
The only place, I let tears flow
I'm trying...I'm trying.
G-o-d...I.I.I I'm try- - -

I want to fall in love with you again
I want to feel the sparks again
I want revival
Please help me love you,
Like before
Please help me feel your kisses,
Like before
Please help me feel the warmth in your hugs,
Like before
Please help me think of you more often,
Like before
Please help me make love to you with passion,
Like before
I want to fall in love with you again
I want to feel the sparks again
I want revival.

I stop trying when I feel I am not wanted anymore
After several attempts to show you my love
After several attempts to reach out to you
I try to keep my ego away
And keep trying to hold on
Hold on to what we had/have
But now,  Its futile
I have to stop trying.

I may feel hurt walking away
I may feel hurt trying so hard to control myself
I may shed tears
I may take it out on other people
I may hate myself for being a fool
Over and over again
I may write and write about it
Either way,  I have decided
I have to stop.
This has to stop.

I have been hurt way too many times.
I can't keep doing this to myself
I ought to love me
I ought to put me first
But I keep putting you first
Over and over,  
Even when I know you don't deserve it. Even when I know you don't love me as much
Even when I know what you think of me
Even when you don't reach out to me
Unless I do it first.  
And the one word-one sentence replies I get
Like you don't feel like it
Like I am bothering you
Like I am wasting your time.
Sorry,  love
I won't do that anymore.
I won't look for you
I won't text you
I won't call you
I won't love you anymore
But then again,  I won't hate you,  
That would be so much burden to carry.  
Goodbye.

I still recall clearly,
Our first time,our first night,
I was so scared,scared that maybe- just maybe i
was crossing over to the darker side..
We had our privacy in that small room,just us
I cant forget..
I recall so well,
I was sitted on that bed,
So afraid that i couldn't undress a you watch,
If given a chance i'd swach with my shoes on,
As if you read my thoughts,my fears,
You came and sat by my side,holding my hand
softly,
I could feel my veins soften up,
My heart beats increasing bit by bit,
Afraid that you could notice,i dug my head
down,
one would think am reading something on the sheets..
That was our first night..
I still recall crystal
You moved closer,
Using four right fingers,you slowly lifted my head
up,
Now we were locked up eye to eye,
Things happened so swiftly,
All i recall is seriously,romantically,passionately
engaging in a kiss..
You slucked me everywhere,
And you whispered through my ears..I love you
and your my very best!
I still remember..
Mmmh,those lips
When i close my eyes,i picture them and smile,
One would think am derranged!
When i close my eyes,i picture your body on
mine..
Well jacked and ****,
Tender and warm,
That night was a NIGHT!
I still recall Clearly..

So i have been doubting my self confidence lately. I look at myself in the mirror wondering why i look like that. I see an ugly picture of me in the mirror every time and i see a girl with weird eyebrows, no hairline, weird smile and colored teeth. Like, i lost trust in me. Like i have become my own enemy. An enemy of my own body. Before taking any picture, i try as much as i can to employ the little makeup ideas i have on my face so as to look 'cute' but then even so, i end up deleting almost every one of them because they are not 'good enough' They are not up to standard.

I have always felt like this since childhood, that  my body is not good enough. i don't like the stretch marks, i don't have a flat tummy, i don't dress well enough or even have good *****, i don't have a pretty face, like i have really been mean to myself. But there is a time i started looking at myself differently, when you walked into my life. i felt complete, i felt free and easy whenever i was around you. I could easily undress in front of you because you told me i was pretty. You told me you loved my body, you told me you loved my smile, you told me you loved my *****, you told me you loved every bit of my body. You told me you loved me truly and deeply. You made me feel so special, and loved and i loved every moment of it.

But why did you walk away, was it all for an act? An act to get what you wanted? Or were you just thirsty i was just a stopover to quench it? Even so, couldn't you say goodbye and a thank you before you left? Why did you just walk away like that. I keep asking myself so many questions. Is it something i did? Is it something i said? Is it that i am unlovable? Why does every man i love in my life keep walking away from me? Why is it that every man i care for deeply and show my love fully always leave? Maybe its just me, maybe i am too ugly to look at twice. Maybe i am not good enough in bed. Maybe i do not know how to kiss back when kissed. Maybe i am disgusting and you cant pretend to like me anymore. Maybe i just don't deserve to love anyone. Or maybe, i am just too stupid and dumb. I cant concentrate, I need to know what it is with me that makes me so undatable.

I really need to know because it hurts deeply. It hurts so much but then i have to wear a happy face every day when i am with other people. I have to pretend i am okay. Truth is, i am not okay, i am hurting. I think i have cried enough, i have hated myself enough, i have been too mean to myself. But how do i love myself if love hurts this much? I don't want to keep hurting, i want to heal. I want to feel alive again. I want to be happy. Its just so hard! You took it all away. You hated me this much to an extent that you took away the only last hope i had of love. You took away the smile with you, the liveliness in me, the focus in me, the confidence, you took it all away. You hate me too much that you decided that i do not deserve any of it. I need to get out of this cage. I hope one day, just one day i can look into the mirror and see a beautiful girl in me once again.

Deep in my heart, i knew i felt something. I didnt know how to describe it, i didnt know whether to explore it, i was a wimp, i couldnt even if i tried. Years passed and the feeling never faded away. Reached a point i couldnt hold back anymore and decided to explore this-what i felt. I knew it was gonna be full of challenges, i knew it wasn't right, i knew it would be a dead end but i just had to give it a try. Something kept pushing me so hard, i couldnt resist. With all the ups and downs we have gone through together, even the worst of the worst, never a single day or moment have i ever regreted giving this-us-a try. Being with you, knowing you love me as much as i do, having this mutual strong feeling of love means so much to me. I am not ready to let you go, i dont think i ever will in my heart. Your birthday passed, actually your birthdays have passed and never once have i ever wished or given you a b. Day gift, today i get to give you all the kisses for all the birthdays i missed. You mean so much to me, you really do mean the world to me. I love you,so much! I love you.

Can I be honest with you?
I am deeply in love with you,so much that it consumes me,all of me.
I try so hard to restrain myself from being in this situation but the harder I try,  the more I feel hurt and depressed.  
I don't know when or how I got myself here,  I swear I have been in relationships like this before-i mean the kind I feel am not in control ,  but it's never felt like this one.  
I have been heartbroken,  once to be precise,  took me years to get over,  then you came.  
But why is it that the men I am in love with make me feel depressed (hidden depression)
Is it that I love stupidly?  Wholly?  
Should I just not be in love and just enjoy the feeling of being loved?  
Why God?  
Am I cursed from feeling loved and my love appreciated?  
Why do I always have to shed tears when I fall in love?  
Why?
Honestly this isn't good for me,  or rather I wasn't meant to be with anyone I was deeply in love with.
I am Letting go-the hardest thing to do,  but I have to do this.  
Am hurting myself, sadly I know you think am being too paranoid,  but yeah, that's it..
That's how much I love you and I know it's not a good thing.  Even if you were to give me the attention and show me more love,where would this relationship go to?
My love is always a forbidden one.  
So,  I dont want to make this harder in future than it is now,
am sorry but I don't want this.  It's killing me.  
It's draining me
It's driving me insane
It's making me hate myself and lowers my self esteem
I feel stupid,  being in love like this.  
How could I?
Cant I just read between the lines and know how you want this relationship to be..
But again,  why should I, I can't control my heart..
I'll. Miss you,  I'll miss us,  but I have to go.
Thank you for making me fall in love again,  thank you for awakening my feelings again
Thank you for making me enjoy love makings once again,  I'll probably never get over this.
Thank you for the support you've always shown me
Thank you for coming into my life again.  Truth is,  I loved you many years ago,  but I was still fighting with getting over my first love, while clinging onto another relationship,so I said no to opening that door.  I loved you then,  I ran away from it,  only for it to catch up with me later.  
You have your own way of loving,  caring,  and all..
But I am a horrible lover,  when I fall in love,  I let it take control over me.  
I swear,  I am Letting you go,  it's for the best,  at least I need to get some of the love and give myself-even if I'll only grab away a quarter of it.
I know with time,  I shall regain all the love I showered on you and give me all to myself first.  Hold to it tightly...
and this is the last time I'll shed a tear while writing this.

"Poets are often broken people"
Not my words,  I read this somewhere
Maybe it's true,  but not always true.  
Writers break people in their heads and fix them in writing
They use the fragments of the broken parts to create something each time.
Writers are unpredictable.  
They can't even tell how the story they are writing will end.  
As the ink pours bit by bit on the paper,  
They create new ideas and twists in their heads.  
Twists that they can't explain sometimes
Sometimes there's a happy ending
Sometimes there is a sad ending
Sometimes it has a dilematic ending

Feeling your breathe on my neck through and through, arousing my feelings and desires
Desires I knew wouldn't be met by the end of the day
Feelings I knew wouldn't be expressed are that time
Sliding your fingers through my thighs,
For a moment I thought I had worn a wet pant
The wetness was something I would have loved to explore further,
But that too wasn't possible.
Am left with unexplored feelings, desires.
Once again.

So what if he doesn't love me
So what if he doesn't reply to any of my texts
So what if he doesn't take me serious
So what if am in this alone.
So what if I fall for him everytime he comes around
So what if he never fulfills any of his promises.
So what if he doesn't care.
So what if I gave him all my heart
So what if I knew he wasn't gonna take care of it
So what if I am all alone now regretting
So what if I feel sorry for myself.  
So what if I hate my attitude right now.
So what if I do nothing about it.
"So what" is a bad attitude.
Change that and you change how you feel and think.

I am done loving too much,  
I am done specifically with you
Loving you has caused me so much pain,  
I have sacrificed so much,  putting you first.  
I have crossed the line several times,  just for you.
All am left with is nothing but pieces of me.
Pieces of the broken dark pale skin, body and soul.  
I will be up,  in fact am up already..
I am working towards letting go,  
At the same time,  am learning to be just a friend to you.
It's hard,  it is a suicide mission,  
But i can't loose this friendship,  it means so much to me.
Growing up,  i have learnt,  still learning how to deal with heartbreaks and the people responsible.  
I have learnt not to blame the other party,  i allowed it to happen,  over and over again.  
If anything,  i saw the red flag,  i kept convincing myself 'grrh it's nothing,  it will go away'
Now it's time, time to rise up.  
Time to start all over again,  after life has slapped and kicked me to the ground.
This is not the first time this has happened,  
And probably won't be the last,  
I have always been a survivor,  this is nothing.

I feel depressed,  
But I can't even tell you why.  
I hope that you read through me and just tell
I hope you know me that well
Well enough to know my sorrows
Even when I don't say a word
To know when am sad even when I smile
To know how I feel even if I don't say it
Am writing this and feeling more depressed
Thinking,  what if you don't?
I mean,  what if you can't read me at all
What if you can't tell who I am behind the mask.  
What I feel deep down
Do you even feel my love?  
Coz I don't feel yours sometimes.
Do I look sad when I smile?
Do I look like am covering up?
Do you even know when am hurting?  
What are you doing right now?
Are you also feeling the same way?
Depression?  Depressed?
No? Yes?  
I feel more depressed
Knowing I can't even know.  
I can't read you at all.  
I've tried, but
I.. I.. I.. I give up.

Am hurt.  Deeply.  
I struggle so much to hold the tear back.
I do this to myself every time
I never learn,  
I am chained by emotions
Am trapped.
Am caged
I feel happy,  and sad in the cage.
I feel free and a prisoner in the cage
I feel like being freed
But something keeps holding me back.
It can't be love,  love ain't this mean
My heart aches each time
Am blissfully sad in this cage.
I want.. I don't want out.  
Help

Yet another cold night
Curled up with my head completely covered under the duvet
My feet folding firmly to the back
resting it's cold self on my buttocks
Hoping to find some warmth
My left arm making an acute angle,
Forming a resting place for my head
as my right fingers struggle to put down my thoughts..
Thoughts of you gives me shivers
Goosbumps beautifully displayed on my arms
.....

I can feel hopelessness in between your texts,
I can feel hopelessness in your voice
I understand your fears,
Whenever you tell me that youll be the last thing i want to see or hear from one day, my heart breaks
You are scared that it will all end one day
I am scared too but i choose not to think about it.
I choose to be positive about us and enjoy every moment with my blindfold on
Coz, i only want to think of you at that moment.
I only want to see you at that moment.
Please lets do this together,shall we.
I love you so so much, i dont wish to think of an ending.
When it all ends, my prayer is, i hope i will be strong enough to face the world without you in it.
You have no idea how much i love you deeply,  you have noo idea.

Today, lowest moments of my life
I needed a hug, your hug
The only hug I got was called loneliness
I needed comfort, your comfort
Instead I was comforted by hope
I needed to be showered, with your love
But I'm showered by tears.
I needed love
Instead I tripped and fell in a pool of misery
I needed you
You bailed out on me
I'm supposed to be composed and not break down
I'm expected to not be mad, play "cool"
Deep down, I feel like screaming
Deep down I feel so alone
I feel desperate.
Desperate for your love.
I wish you could show me love
Even just a little bit
Not just say it
I wish you didn't say it instead
I wish I could just feel it
Honestly I don't .
I don't.
And it hurts my love
It really hurts.

“I don’t understand”
We have all said this word deluged by indignation, disconcertment, while we wallow in our drunken state of stupefaction.
Questions keep buzzing in our heads as we ‘try to understand’ how it all happened and why.
The conundrum comes in because deep down, we don’t want to hear the truth.
The pain is too much, you don’t want more pain.
You want the pain to stop, something to make you feel better but nothing seems to be helping.
Somehow, we knew it was going to happen but denial blindfolded us.  
How do you move on from such dismay?
When our hearts are deep into the possession of abnegation?
We keep pushing, with hopes that we will mend this shipwreck
Our cup of tolerance inundating to every slip we take.
We find war, where there's peace, and pain where there's feast.
Our hearts are conked out from tries to rejuvenate the sparks
Nothing seems to work right, nothing feels potential anymore
Our hopes melt into disparity, clinging on to nothing but fakes.
I still don't understand, I don't get it,
How did we fall right to this point?

Staring at a picture of us
The longer I stare, the blurrier it gets
My eyes are watery with tears
I try to hold back,
I try to stay strong
I ask myself so many questions
Are you even half human?
Do I really deserve this?
How do you love?
Is this your way?
Are you even bothered?
God, give me a reflection
A reflection of this man's heart.
Is it a human heart?
You've hurt me so deeply.
This is deeper than any other.
I can't pretend this time.
I'm hurt,
I'm crying
I'm hurt,
God, this hurts.