My heart feels like
it's about to shut down
from all the truths
that only I know

People view me
as kind
selfless
heartfelt
with empathy

Yet once they witness
my darker side
this inner demon
that is always
a few steps behind me

Once they see
the ashes and smeared blood
tainted within my mind and heart

I am once again alone
alone to pick up the pieces 
of a love that never was

"What do you want"
she said

the will to carry on
a reason for my existence
some sort of direction
in my life

but she was only going to the shops
so
pizza and beer again

I’m a hopeless romantic masquerading as a heartless cynic.

In the eye of the hurricane,
she dances by herself.

what a shrill cry; a thousand sirens
I have always hated the way my mind speaks before you
every tangle of fire licks the heels of passing gentleness
I pry open the shell of us for a hideous pearl
and hold in my hands the stillborn body of trust