I wish you had proved me wrong
Deep within my conciousness
I floated

Opening every door I came across
All of the forseen options
like chess moves

Knowing all of this, I'm too in-tune
I manifested this outcome
Without even wanting to

Thats the hidden side of being concious
You manifest what you think

I was thinking of you

Now the challenge is to grow
Untainted

I was nice
I was sweet
I was empathetic
I was strong
I was here
I was there
You where everywhere

I was holding you down
Like no one else would do
And I remembered
I'm not like everyone else
But for the first time
Maybe everyone else
Is right

Im too proficient with the faith

I have learned my lesson

I wish I wasn’t triggered
Everywhere I look
I see
Small little memories of you
Dancing all around me

I had to wash my bedsheets 3 times to stop smelling your unique scent
Pictures of your face would pop into my head whenever I turn on the tv
I can’t watch the same things anymore
Cant eat the same things anymore
Cant listen to the same music anymore
Cant drive the same way anymore
Cant laugh the same way anymore
Cant think the same way anymore
I can’t live the same way anymore

Even the plant’s remind me of what you gave me
What grows
And what dies

When I told you I loved you
I meant it with every fiber of my being
I kept those words in a safe place for over 23 years...
Never to mislead anyone
When the time came for me to say it I knew what I said was true
Love does not fear
Love does not hide
Love does not regret
Love is mine
And I am it
I was it for you
I wish it was enough

I truly hope it was worth it
Another notch on your belt
While hurting someone else
Are you even honest with yourself?

You broke my heart
And I broke some glasses
It’s not the same

You used to compare me to an angel
That I was your one phone call
That we could bury a body together
Be friends into our 80’s
I remember as friends, when you told me you loved me...
Now when I think of you
I think about your ghost
Something I was feeding that I wanted so badly to touch me...but went right through me

When I came home from work
I read the letter and saw the key you left for me...
My heart dropped into my stomach
A pain that physically hurt deep in my chest, I couldn't breath
It was one of the saddest moments I’ve experienced
It reminded me of death, a sudden missing

Now I’m in a process of mourning
...
Mourning your loss