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Annika Nov 2020
Reciprocation is key

...my water is flowing into you
feeding you
growing you
I love to do it
To see you flourish

...At times I still wonder
Do you really want a girl like me?
Am I really for you?
...and you for me?
What do we need?

Show me
Tell me
Compliment me
See me
Whisper me sweet little nothings
Im yerning ,always
...I feel starved for your affection
Help me change this direction

In a world where nothing is given
You could be my person
Annika Sep 2020
A mother’s love
Runs deeper than salt buried in the stone of canyons
The weight of this joyous burden is unlike any other
We hold their life between our legs
Then our palms
So fragile
So beautiful
My belly swells in longing
Knowing one day I might be able to
Know you
Until then
I’ll wait with a desire deeper
Than I’ve known
- To my future children
Annika Aug 2020
Today I saw your neck
Pulsing fast
Brown
I tainted it purple
In a circle
Proof of what was
Annika Aug 2020
We rubbed your … raw
Coming to sweet highness
Blowing up my mind
I closed my eyes
And smiled
Annika Aug 2020
The simplest form of
I love you is
I miss you…
Annika Jul 2020
Where did I find you?
In a place neither one of us has been

Where did I find you?
On a fishing boat far off at sea

Where did I find you?
On a floating rock alone, you chose to meet me
You took me by the hand and named me friend

Where did I find you?
We jumped into the waters together and swallowed the salt of the earth
It made us whole

Where did I find you?
Among laughs, eyes, trees, ipas, late nights and smile lines
I hold you closely

When did I find you?
At age 5
You kissed me behind the slide
And told me I was your favorite

When did I find you?
In the school yard at age 9
You held my hand and told me I was worth it
To be brave
Never to let them see me cry
Hold my head high

When did I find you?
At age 14 in the front row of my first ever concert
You lifted me high up onto your shoulders
And I felt like a bird for the first time

When did I find you?
17 your beautiful fro meshed with my curls
All night on the dance floor
You swung me around
And made me feel pretty
The night all the lies stopped

When did I find you?
At age 19 you asked me “will you be mine”
And I lied and said always

When did I find you?
When I was running away from my identity, past, abuse, goals, dreams and destiny
Everyone called me free spirited
pretending not to care about my well being
But that was the truth?
Running running running
I have a lot of practice

When did I find you?
In a cool calm place at age of 22
It was you
I found you
Beautiful, strong, wild spirit, brilliant, a creative, a truth seeker, wandering but not lost
lustful, always wanting more
Wanting something
The same thing as me

I finally found you:
Scared to let go, scared to move forward
Wanting to be great
Wanting to love and to be loved
Knowing what you really want
And learning to act on it

I finally found you
Now where will we go?
Back to the sea? The playground? School? I may never know

But for now
I’ll put my hand in yours and call you friend
I won’t lie and I won’t run
I stand with you on a big floating rock
Surrounded by the laughs, love, dreams, and faces of the swirling sea

Sea encompasses our past, present and future
And of the lives we lived a thousand times
She has brought us back
Back together
Back to who we are
And who we dare to
Be
Annika Jul 2020
They say love is blind
So are you really into me
Or just reading between my lines

Curved bottle I’m a fab model
I’m wondering if you’re truly down for a girl like me

We are just in a love bind, lost, just full of lust
What a loss
Your discernment intrigues me
But better yet, your words entangled me
Like sour patch kids on a hot day
So let’s wait and see
What we may be
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