The ticks pound in my head
like African drums.
Each tock sounds off
another second of life lost.
And another.
And another.

The silence is too loud.
The voices aren't as quiet.
They're more than murmurs in my head.
I hear them clearer than ever before.
Focused.
Intelligible.

I've done so much in life
But I've done nothing.
I'm surrounded by people
Yet completely alone.
Facades.
Fears.

Past memories resurface.
The worst of them first.
How could I have accepted it?
How could I have not stopped it?
Alcohol.
Abuse.

I've seen hatred.
The dark side of the coin.
I've seen lives fall apart
And walls crumble.
Death.
Divorce.

I'm close to ending it all.
It would only take one slice.
I've summoned up the courage.
I'm not "okay" anymore.
Red.
Running.

My mind is getting hazy,
But it's clearer than it's ever been.
My worries are draining out of me
As well as life.
Darkness.
Descending.

I'm getting cold now.
My feeling is fading away.
The ride ends here.
All I want to do is sleep.
And sleep.
*And sleep.