you pick up the pen and paper you gently write 'dear mother dear father'
on the paper telling them why. why you had to leave why you couldn't do it you pick up the bottle you think 'just one more letter' you pick back up the pan and paper writing 'dear best friend' telling her/him how sorry you are words spill out on the paper you write so many letters you stare at them thinking of how many people will miss you how many people will cry that night you ripped up the papers and threw them away if you have letters you have reasons.
you see though I only would write 5 letters. I dont think they will cry.

Why can’t I let it show?
Why can’t the tears flow?
Behind this fragile mask,
All the pain I hold.
I need to cry but I can’t,
The silence is too loud,
Falling in this empty trance,
Tears can’t break the shroud.
Memories like ghosts at night,
Haunting every whispered plea,
Trying to find the light,
But it's lost inside of me.

******* done can’t you see?
Every word every glance just drains me.
Just ******* leave me alone I need the space,
Your noise is suffocating I can't keep pace.
You pushed me too far I’ve had enough,
I’m breaking down this ****’s too tough.
Just ******* leave me alone I’m losing my mind,
No more games no more ties to bind.
JUST ******* LEAVE ME ALONE

Smile through the storm, pretend it's fine,
Hide the rage, bury the line
Fake the joy, mask the ache,
Hiding tears that start to break

"Be happy," they say, "just play the game"
But inside, it's nothing but shame
Smile, fake it, wear the mask
But deep inside, I’m done with the task

She stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep,  
Moonlight spilling, the room dark and deep.  
The clock ticked steadily, loud in the still,  
As her thoughts spun in circles, against her will.  

The sheets tangled tightly, warmth turned to weight,  
Restlessness grew, but sleep couldn’t wait.  
She closed her eyes, but the night held tight,  
Caught in the silence, lost in the night.

That day when my sweet 16's didn't seem so sweet
I grabbed that knife and I cut too deep
The blood on my thighs
that look in my eyes
is there a way to get out
am I trapped in my mind
scared to die but too sad to live
the guilt in my soul
Each cut a confession
but I’m losing control
I put on my mask but I was so beat
the blood on the ground
cant see my feet
screaming so loud
but I don't make a sound<3

I press it deep, the blood runs red,
I loved you more than words have said.
But you’re with him, and I can’t stay,
Falling down, lost in dismay.

A love that burned, now fades to gray,
Left alone, I slip away.

I am utterly alone,
A hollow echo in the dark,
Where silence swallows every tone,
And hope fades like a distant spark.

The nights stretch long with aching still,
No hand to reach, no voice to call,
My tears are rivers, yet they spill
Unnoticed, unseen—nothing at all.

I sit here alone, staring at that chair,
Eating slowly, lost in the air.
Once it held laughter, warmth, and light,
Now it’s a shadow of someone’s goodbye.

Time drips like honey, heavy and slow,
As I linger with memories, both tender and low.
The chair remains empty, a testament true,
To the love that once filled it, now lost in the blue.

They can yell, They can scream,
I'll sit silent and listen,
Because, "To be a good leader,
you have to be a good listener"
Even if they don't say things you want to hear like,
“You’re such an attention seeker.”
“You’re not worth the effort..."

So dark, so heavy, I drown in the quiet,
Memories of him swirl, a relentless riot.
Panic grips me; my heart starts to race,
I cry, I laugh—lost in this space.

I kick at the walls, I punch at the air,
Just leave me alone; it’s too much to bear.
In this storm of despair, I’m bound to stay,
Shadows my only companions, night swallows the day.

I’m thirteen years old, a ghost in the crowd,
Wearing a smile, but it’s heavy and loud.
In silent corners, I fight with my mind,
In a world that feels cruel, unkind.

Each mark I make is a story untold,
A way to express what I can’t let unfold.
The pain feels like relief, a sharp, bitter sting,
A fleeting escape from the chaos it brings.

Alone in my thoughts, drowning in fear,
A shadowy presence that whispers, “Stay near.”
Days blend to nights, a cycle unbroken,
In whispers of darkness, I feel so forsaken.
Every cut, a different story..

In the quiet moments, I feel so small,
A weight on my heart, like a shadow’s call.
Each day feels heavy, like a storm in my chest,
Searching for comfort, for a moment of rest.

I wear a brave face, but inside, I’m torn,
A child in the darkness, feeling lost and worn.
Whispers of doubt echo deep in my mind,
In a world full of noise, it’s so hard to find.

Fatherless nights wrap around me tight,
In the silence, I search for a flicker of light.
I scribble my pain on flesh I use as paper,
Hoping that somehow, I’ll find a tomorrow.

Each tear that I shed is a story I tell,
Of dreams left behind in a shadowy shell..